Dannii's Dirty Box

Bon Voyage, Bitches!

2008-07-06T04:43:00.000-07:00

In true Dannii style, I've decided to pack my bags and head to the nearest Spanish party island. I also think this is the right time to close Dannii's Box (again). I'm suffering from major fan fatigue - mainly due to the sad, deluded droids who constitute Dannii's ever shrinking fanbase. I will always worship Holidannii but the humourless creatures that surround her are making Dannii fandom an unnecessary hardship. I'm sure I'll regain my enthusiasm when Dannii releases her next collection of unreleased crap and re-open the blog (yet again) but in the meantime I'm moving on to Kylie. She might not have been blessed with Dannii's stunning good looks or searing vocal talent but at least she still has the occasional hit and hasn't retired to the living hell of reality TV. Adios!

The Return Of Dannii, Queen Of Kitchens

2008-06-18T02:34:00.000-07:00

The British public were treated to an extraordinary, and rare, sight last night: the KweEN oV kItshiNz returned to our screens, an incarnation of Dannii not seen since the late '80s! It seemed that time has not dulled our Queen's vegetable chopping abilities; gone are the carrots of the yore and now Dannii has graduated onto truly tricky varieties - pumpkins and asparagus stems.

"But hold on!", I hear you cry, "surely Dannii wouldn't cook her own food??!". I suspect you may be right... I highly doubt Dannii knows where the hob is (assuming her house has one), let alone how to use it. Her press-on nails would get singed faster than you could say "fuck off Kylie" if she ever happened to switch it on. All I can say is, Dannii's hired help have done a remarkable job in teaching Dannii to bluff her way through this programme, even if they forgot to inform her that aprons should be used to cover bare cleavage.

Now, to the show itself. In a remarkably candid interview, Dannii confirms that her beauty (with the exception of her 'floaters') is 100% as God intend (as we all knew), and she has a few choice words about a certain Ms. Osbourne. Dannii is famous for her vicious tongue, and it is a real pleasure to see it being put to such good use.

But what did the rich kid, food critic-wannabes think of Dannii's culinary abilities...?

SPOILER ALERT! Read no further if you are yet to see the video!

It seems our Dannii is destined for failure, not only are the public indifferent to her latest club anthems, it seems they are also equally ambivalent towards her risotto. Oh well, what's one more flop between friends?! ;) And as for the heartfelt farewell between Gordon and Dannii, it is so endearing to see other celebrities treating Dannii with the due respect she deserves.

Dannii: Queen of Kitchens. Long may she reign!

Kylie's Shocking Revelation!

2008-06-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

Kylie stunned fans at her Madrid concert by finally admitting what we have all suspected for the past 20 years - that Dannii is indeed superior! The catalyst for Kylie's stunning revelation was a simple t-shirt with the truthful slogan "Dannii Does It Better" (below). Kylie acknowledges the brave Dannii droid (who was probably brutally murdered by enraged Kylie fans after the show) and agrees with his message! The historical moment was caught on film (at approximately 1:30 minutes), so you can re-live it time and time again. Dannii's bid for global superstardom is gathering more steam by the minute!

The holy t-shirt

STOP THE PRESSES - Dannii In Award Win SHOCK

2008-06-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am typing this under a haze of disbelief: our Dannii has won an award. No, you are not hallucinating, Dannii has at long last got something to add to her somewhat uncluttered mantlepiece! At last night's Glamour Awards in London, Dannii collected the prestigious award of TV Personality of the Year, for her work on The X Factor. Not only has Dannii won this prize, but the tabloids are buzzing with further causes for celebration: not only has her X Factor pay deal seen a £500K rise, she is reportedly lined up for a guest stint on American Idol... It seems Dannii's star is becoming truly global, and about time too!

From a purely selfish perspective, I hope all this TV $ucce$$ doesn't keep Dannii away from reworking the latest Ibiza anthems for too long; the pop world is surely an empty place without her awe-inspiring talent. Being the shrewd businesswoman that is she, it wouldn't surprise me if Dannii is secretly sequestering large chunks of her TV paypackets into booking sessions with producers previously out of her reach on AATW budgets. We can but hope!

Congratulations Dannii, from all at Dannii's Dirty Box!

Our Fierce Club Disco Winner!

2008-06-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to learn that the winners of our "Club Disco" competition are starting to receive their goodies. Ro Ro, a DDB regular from the glamorous state of Texas, was kind enough to take a happy snap with his copy. I feel all warm inside knowing that Dannii is in the hands of such a fabulous bitch. Girlfriend even did a costume change for the second pic (below)! Ro Ro, your stunning wig and general fierceness are truly Danniitastic. Congratulations again!

Dannii's Washing Tips

2008-06-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

I almost spat out my cornflakes when I saw Dannii in today's Sun Herald dishing our laundry tips. Bitch, please. As if Dannii even knows what a washing machine looks like!

Dannii Steals Kylie's Birthday Thunder!

2008-05-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

I love this! A German newspaper pulled together 40 facts to celebrate Kylie's 40th birthday and noted Dannii's enduring contribution to her sister's career. Check out fact #3 (click on the image), which roughly translates as "Sister Dannii was originally more famous"! Stunning journalism but what do they mean by using the past tense and the word originally?

Cover Girl Dannii

2008-05-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

I know this is a week old but I finally got around to scanning it tonight. Dannii really was everywhere last week. She graced the TV guide cover as well as featuring in Famous, Who and OK magazines. So much $ucce$$ for our sweetheart!

Put Down The Broom!

2008-05-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

I'm on to you, Dannii Witch! How much eye of newt did you throw into the cauldron to conjur up this week's unprecedented ratings $ucce$$ for Australia's Got Talent? It seems the failed pop star's nasty tirade of hate and bitterness drew more than 1.6 million viewers. I'm convinced we were all under her evil spell! Here are Tuesday's ratings figures thanks to the Sun Herald website.

1. AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT Seven 1,603,000
2. SEVEN NEWS Seven 1,491,000
3. NCIS Ten 1,459,000
4. TODAY TONIGHT Seven 1,350,000
5. ABC NEWS ABC 1,317,000
6. NINE NEWS Nine 1,272,000
7. ALL SAINTS Seven 1,268,000
8. HOME AND AWAY Seven 1,255,000
9. RAMSAY'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES Nine 1,223,000

The Evil Dannii Witch!

2008-05-20T05:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates but I just got back from spending a couple of days in Alice fucking Springs for work. Seriously, I was not built for red dust and desert! After dragging my sorry carcass home from the airport, all I could think about was sitting down in front of the TV with a box of Tim Tams to revel in Dannii's judging glory. I wish I had done some ironing instead - anything would have been preferable to witnessing the despicable display Dannii put on tonight. One of the many reasons I love Dannii is her genuine sweetness but I think the poor company she's been keeping lately must be starting to rub off on her. There's no easy way to say this - Dannii was a complete cunt on Australia's Got Talent tonight!

Our beloved icon was in a foul mood from the very beginning. I think some vindictive individual must have told Dannii the sales total of "The Hits & Beyond" in comparison to "Ultimate Kylie" because she looked like she had just swallowed a cup of lemon juice from the get go. I tried to turn a blind eye when Dannii dismissed the Russian whistler, made a snide remark about the performing dog, rejected the smiling tap dancer, berated the piano prodigy for her stagecraft and voted off a clearly talented brother and sister duo. However, I think she crossed the line when she tore strips off a 9 year old girl for not having a good enough voice to front her family's band. It was downright unpleasant to see Danielle burst into tears and be comforted by her father after being ripped a new arsehole by Ms Minogue. She, of all people, should be able to display greater sensitivity towards child performers. I hate to say it but I'm glad the crowd booed and jeered the Dannii witch. She acted like a spiteful old troll and let's face it, Dannii shouldn't be criticising anyone for their inability to keep pitch. I give you Exhibit A:

I rest my case. I mean, who does she think she is? Melissa Tkautz?

Victor Strikes Again!

2008-05-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

Victor, Dannii's #1 Brazilian fan and the charismatic star of this legendary video, has turned his creative juices towards promoting "Club Disco". I think you'll agree that Victor really captures the essence of Dannii with these fabulous offerings! The first picture (above) will have Dannii's illiterate lesbian fans moist with anticipation, while the protest shot (below) perfectly reflects Dannii's amazing less-is-more approach to promotion.

Victor then brings out the big guns by roping in Einstein to publicise Dannii's exquisite collection of demos and unreleased tat. Obviously a brave attempt to appeal to Dannii's huge following in the world of academia!

Last but not least is my favourite. I think this piece of art beautifully sums up the amount of effort put into "Club Disco" by all involved including Dannii herself. Well done, Victor. We await your next video extravaganza with baited breath!

Club DIsco Winners!

2008-05-15T04:44:00.001-07:00

I loved all your entries but there could only be 3 (well, actually 5!) winners. To find out if you're one of these lucky people check out the results here. Congratulations to everyone and thanks again to Central Station for the CDs!

Nathan Loves Dannii's Dirty Box

2008-05-13T02:47:00.000-07:00

Nathan has graced our humble website (if you can call it that) with his holy presence and posted the hugely insightful (Dannii is in TV land at the moment - WTF?!) and totally non-egocentric rant you see below on the Droid Board. I'm really not sure why Nathan is getting his knickers in a twist. Yet again. He was the person who brought up the remix stuff up in the first place. I simply checked with Central Station and posted their response. I don't believe my post was mean spirited (the clown picture was firmly tongue in cheek) and I can't remember ever criticising Nathan personally about anything. Instead of being unnecessarily nasty about a fansite that genuinely adores Dannii, Nathan might consider the hours we have spent making videos, banners and forum signatures - not to mention generally whoring "Club Disco" across the internet - and thank us. After all, he's getting a cut of Dannii's profits as her new manager. We're just doing it because we love Dannii.

I've read on another website (if you can call it that) that I'M the one that handed over the wrong mix of this to Central Station. For the record I emailed Jason Nevins and asked him to email the correct mix to Central Station. This was sent direct to them. I can not oversee everything and due to manufacture deadlines there was no time for listening cd's to be produced.

Also - so many people are saying Dannii needs a better team behind her. Also FYI Dannii is in TV land at the moment. These albums (Unleashed / Club Disco etc) are being released for fans - not for any other reason. There is no time for Dannii to focus on a new album at the moment and there hasn't been for the last 12 months.

If people want to hurl insults at me, do so as much as you like. However I'm the one who's pushed and pushed for Unleashed, The Video Collection, Girl (Deluxe), Neon Nights (Deluxe) and Club Disco (CD release) for all you guys. I don't want thanks and I'm not here for my ego - but it's quite upsetting that people can be so unkind over one incorrect mix.

Club Disco - The DDB Review

2008-05-11T04:21:00.000-07:00

If some mental midget hadn't decided to make "Club Disco" chart ineligible, Dannii would be currently celebrating a top 30 ARIA chart placing for the first time since "Neon Nights". It's extremely annoying that Dannii's astonishing chart $ucce$$ has been thwarted once again but we can take heart in the knowledge that our icon is still very much at the forefront of popular culture. I'm sure you've all had the opportunity to listen to "Club Disco" by now, so I thought it was time to review this modern day masterpiece with my fellow DDB contributors. The results are very interesting and prove beyond a doubt that not everyone shares my exquisite taste in Dannii! Let us know what you think.

1. Touch Me Like That

Tommie - 9/10

An energetic and fun club romp. Despite the mediocre chart performance, this is a Dannii classic!

Jay - 5/10

slightly irritating and catchy but a poor choice for the opener.

Natty - 10/10

I'm biased. I love this song. I can't fault it. I'm just pissed that this song wasn't bigger. I don't know what's wrong with people!

Magical Froggy - 8/10

On first listen I was mortified that Dannii was using this of all tracks to ca$h in on her X Factor exposure (the less said about its chart performance the better). Over time, however, this has grown a lot on me and is definitely one of Dannii's better reworked club tracks. The lyrics are cheeky, the beats are cheesy, and all together this is one fun pop concoction. And seeing Dannii spin in a tacky plastic diamond, I now feel I can die a contented person!

Mike - 10/10

A slice of club heaven made even more glorious by the magnificent trannytastic video. My second favourite song of 2007.

Average score - 8.4/10

2. Feel Like I Do (JCA Remix)

Tommie - 7/10

Slightly overrated by fans, but that doesn't make it a bad track. Makes you want to get heavy with Dannii.

Jay - 7/10

A saucy floorfiller, what Dannii does best and should have remained the opening track as it was on UK itunes.

Natty - 6/10

Feels like there’s something lacking in Dannii’s vocals. I don’t know what it is. Do love the remix.

Magical Froggy - 7/10

I like this song, but it is betrayed by its B-Side origins. The vocals are good, the production is great, but it just feels like it never quites get to where it should. Good, but Dannii is capable of better.

Mike - 10/10

The B-side to "So Under Pressure" is a sublime slice of dance-pop and certainly ranks as one of my favourite Dannii songs. A perfect track.

Average score - 7.4/10

3. Perfection (12" Mix)

Tommie - 8/10

Bad lyrics + tacky sampling = heaven.

Jay - 7/10

Cheap, cheerful and fabulous!

Natty - 9/10

Very much like TMLT, I can't fault the track. It’s perfection. No pun intended!

Magical Froggy - 4/10

Quite why it was felt necessary to include the extended version here is beyond me, the radio edit would have been more than sufficient. I will always hold a grudge against this track, seeing as it ended Dannii's run of being playlisted by Radio 1 and hence her chart struggles ever since. The song itself was OK, but Dannii really should have quit the club instrumentals game by this stage.

Mike - 9/10

The second single from "The Hits & Beyond" lives up to its title but there are better mixes of the track than this extended version. Fabulous, nonetheless.

Average score - 7.4/10

4. You Won't Forget About Me

Tommie - 8/10

Another club track and Dannii's first single with AATW. Makes you want to get drunk with your favourite hags and throw flowers around.

Jay - 5/10

But you will forget about this club instrumental with added Dannii lyrics & vocals, better as a stand alone track. However, the stunning video performance gets 8/10.

Natty - 5/10

A song I truly have to be in the mood for.

Magical Froggy - 9/10

What isn't there to love about this? Dannii's falsetto vocals in the chorus really showcase her stunning natural talent, and the repetitive hook totally worms its way into your head. If Dannii is going to insist on her reworked club anthems, maybe its time she dug through the rest of Flower Power's back catalogue.

Mike - 7/10

Dannii's most recent top 10 hit is one of my least favourite singles but works nicely as an album track.

Average score - 6.8/10

5. Love Fight

Tommie - 4/10

Overhyped and demo-ish. Next!

Jay - 0/10

Vile Shite!

Natty - 10/10

Whoever didn’t allow this to be released as a single needs a good kick in the head. Imagine the video!!

Magical Froggy - 3/10

After all the hype surrounding this track I was feverishing awaiting another anthem on a par with WDYLN or SILWY. Instead we got this crap about Dannii wanting to get smacked up by her lover. Um, OK. The frenetic production does my head in, and I just find the whole thing an embarassment.

Mike - 6.5/10

I'm in awe of Dannii's songwriting ability. Who else could write such an upbeat, catchy anthem about domestic violence? Unfortunately, Dannii's visionary lyrics are let down by some of the worst production to emerge from AATW (and that's saying something!)

Average score - 4.7/10

6. I'm Sorry

Tommie - 8/10

How on earth could the previous track be chosen over this for Hits & Beyond? I smell foul play! I bet that evil hag Madonna pulled some strings to get this pulled so that she could release "Sorry" later that year!

Jay - 2/10

So you should be! *skips*

Natty - 5/10

Unfortunatly I find it somewhat bland. I think it’s just a bit repetitive.

Magical Froggy - 8/10

The first truly new song on Club Disco, and this is a winner. The hypnotic bass, tight percussion, heartfelt lyrics and addictive chorus combine to make a potential Dannii classic.

Mike - 9/10

The first new/unreleased song on "Club Disco" is stunning. Written by two alumni of Max Martin's famed Cheiron studio, "I'm Sorry" positively throbs with energy. This poptastic floorfiller should have been a single.

Average score - 7/10

7. Gone

Tommie - 10/10

Dannii is one step away from sampling Moroder, but I love it as much as Dannii seems to love anal sex!

Jay - 9/10

Beyond Fabulous!

Natty - 8/10

I keep wondering if this track samples another song. I’m thinking Donna Summer. It sounds so familiar. This also would’ve been a pumping track had someone bothered to release it at the time of Hits and Beyond.

Magical Froggy - 5/10

Another filler from The Hits And Beyond. The stilted vocal rhythm of the chorus sounds awkward, the lyrics are borderline crap ('fill me up with your love' is hardly original), and Dannii sounds weak at the upper end of her vocal range. One to skip.

Mike - 9/10

One of the best beyond tracks on "The Hits & Beyond", "Gone" has lost none of its sparkle. Top notch dance-pop.

Average score - 8.2/10

8. So Under Pressure (Album Version)

Tommie - 9/10

Touching and significant. Poor Dannii!

Jay - 9.5/10

Beyond Fabulous! An epic that would score full marks if it was the Radio Edit or Extended Mix as the extra "I'm Gonna Shout" bit breaks the flow of the track.

Natty - 8/10

The song has seriously grown on me since its release!

Magical Froggy - 10/10

One of my all time favorite Dannii anthems! Knowing the story behind the lyrics gives them enhanced feeling, but even without that the track is still a killer. The beat, the schizophrenic strings, the pizzicato production, all come together to make magic. I can listen to this for hours and still find new things in it.

Mike - 10/10

Dannii's haunting ode to Kylie's cancer battle redefined the bounds of dance music. Never before has such moving subject matter been accompanied by such a wicked beat. Utterly majestic.

Average score - 9.3/10

9. Good Times (Forty Four's 7" Mix)

Tommie - 6/10

Good enough, but forgettable.

Jay - 4/10

Another cheap and cheerful number that is still quite forgettable and the vocals on this mix are too weak.

Natty - 7.5/10

The songs that originally featured on the Hits and Beyond were beyond fantastic. Another track that could’ve been a great single!

Magical Froggy - 6/10

THAB filler. The production is irritating, but Dannii gives a good mellow vocal.

Mike - 7/10

A rather pointless remix, which fails to improve on the original. I wish they had left this one alone.

Average score - 6.1/10

10. Sunrise

Tommie - 7/10

Dannii's tribute to those early drunken Ibiza mornings, so of course I like it.

Jay - 2/10

Crap.

Natty - 6.5/10

My least fave track of the H&B “beyond” tracks.

Magical Froggy - 7/10

Besides the chorus, there is little to admire in this track. The 'popping' noise that runs throughout in the background kind of reminds of me someone playing clip-clop with coconut shells, and that's not a good thing.

Mike - 7.5/10

Another "Hits & Beyond" album track. Originally one of my least favourite AATW offerings, "Sunrise" has grown on me immensely. The song loses a point for reminding me of Kylie's vile "Rendezvous At Sunset" every time I listen to it.

Average score - 6/10

11. He's The Greatest Dancer (LMC Edit)

Tommie - 5/10

Limp. I don't mind Dannii doing covers, but this has no energy. Needs to be trashier!

Jay - 5/10

As a one off, acceptable but as an album track is annoying. Can do better.

Natty - 8/10

Dancing with the staaaaaaaaaaaaaaars! The song shot up after Dannii’s wonderful performance on DWTS.

Magical Froggy - 10/10

When I first heard Dannii was covering this (4 ha NumBAr WUn CildRan iNe NeID SIngFAL!!!1!) I thought this was going to be the final nail in her pop coffin. I shouldn't have doubted the Queen of Clubs though, she really took this song and made it her own (especially with her flawless live performance!). It's a shame she never gave this a proper UK release, I'm sure this would have comfortably nestled in between Dannii's other Top 30 'hits'.

Mike - 9.5/10

Fuck off, haters! Dannii's #37 smash hit is epic and the LMC edit remains a triumph. Only Holidannii could improve on Sister Sledge.

Average score - 7.5/10

12. I Can't Sleep At Night

Tommie - 8/10

On first listen it's a bit boring, but sticks on you after a while.

Jay - 10/10

Beyond fabulous!

Natty - 8.5/10

Definatly a highlight on the album, even if it has featured on ‘Hits and Beyond’ and probably countless other cheaptastic albums.

Magical Froggy - 10/10

The fact that this is one of my highest played tracks on my iPod says enough. This is one of Dannii's hidden gems, and why she shelved it to release Perfection is beyond me. I love the fun and simple lyrics, Jewels & Stone's poptastic production and even the video (even though some deride it).

Mike - 10/10

The best non-single from "The Hits & Beyond" - everything about this gorgeous anthem is exquisite. The production is excellent, the lyrics are saucy and Dannii's voice is butter! Throw in the brilliant Afterlife remixes and smutty video and you have one of the best singles never released.

Average score - 9.3/10

13. I Will Come To You

Tommie - 7/10

Like "Love Fight" it has a demo-ish quality to it, but it's a grower.

Jay - 9.5/10

Beyond Fabulous! Really suits Dannii's voice and an amazing track - easily the best of the "new" tracks.

Natty - 4/10

It’s a bit shit really.

Magical Froggy - 6/10

Again this is track that never quite gets to where it should. The dirty bass, crisp beat and the sweeping synths are all present and correct, but probably to the extent where they drown out the meandering vocals.

Mike - 9.5/10

The second new/unreleased track isn't as instant as "I'm Sorry" but it's just as good. Penned by Nine Woodford and Rob Davis, "I Will Come To You" is surprisingly dark and moody. The intro is slightly jarring but the chorus is gorgeous. I particularly love the lyric "you are my home and home is where the heart is". This could be a real grower.

Average score - 7.2/10

14. I've Been Waiting For You

Tommie - 6/10

The 90s called and they want their track back.

Jay - 3/10

I've been waiting for you - So I can press the "Skip" button again. Horribly dated.

Natty - 6/10

I bet Dannii plays this everytime she releases a new single. I’ve been waiting for a #1 hit that’s not on the dance charts.

Magical Froggy - 8/10

Another track scraped off a B-Side, but one that stands up amongst the others on Club Disco. Dannii's whispered vocals are again at risk of being drowned out, but there's no denying the catchiness of the chorus.

Mike - 7/10

The B-side to "Perfection" is Dannii by the numbers. Decent filler.

Average score - 6/10

15. Round The World

Tommie - 7/10

Dannii promises to travel round the world for her man. Or something. Could be better, but not bad.

Jay - 6/10

Decent filler.

Natty - 8/10

I bet Dannii has this on maximum rotation while she’s off jet-setting around the world on holiday.

Magical Froggy - 9/10

One of the better new tracks exclusive to this release. The stacatto beat and Dannii's vocal experimentation come together with tremendous effect. More like this please Ms. Minogue!

Mike - 8.5/10

A collaboration with Terry "Tezza" Ronald and Ian Masterson, "Round The World" is a burst of old school Dannii - unfortunately it's not the best example of what this fabulous trio can achieve. "Round The World" isn't awful by any means, it just sounds half finished. I love the throbbing guitar line but I have a feeling this was a work in progress. A treat for fans.

Average score - 7.7/10

16. Xanadu

Tommie - 10/10

Words cannot describe. For once the hype was true.

Jay - 8/10

Stunning take on this ONJ classic that really suits Dannii's voice and style.

Natty - 8.5/10

Love, love, love the arrangement!

Magical Froggy - 5/10

Having never really been aware of Olivia's original until recently, I wasn't sure what the fuss was about this cover. I heard Dannii's version first and found it to be a laconic affair; over long and hardly the camp anthem I was expecting. The production is 'interesting', but that is about all really. The 'popped up' live version, however, is wonderful. If only there was a studio version of that (outside of Nathan's iPod that is).

Mike - 10/10

I've been eagerly awaiting Dannii's version of Olivia Newton-John's 80s classic since Dannii first announced that she had covered it. The original is one of my favourite tracks of all time and I was prepared to be sorely disappointed by this cover. I should have had more faith in Dannii's infinite musical wisdom because her "Xanadu" completely re-constructs the song, creating something wonderfully new and different. Dannii's "Xanadu" is a sparse, dark and languid piece of electro brilliance that deserves to be heard.

Average score - 8.3/10

17. You Won't Forget About Me (Afterlife Lounge Mix Edit)

Tommie - 9/10

Chill-out Dannii for the last two tracks of the album. I slightly prefer the "You Want Forget About Me" mix, but both are bliss.

Jay - 4/10

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Natty - 7.5/10

This sounds like something you’d get in some D-grade porn movie, bless Dannii.

Magical Froggy - 6/10

Pleasant enough, but not exactly worthy of inclusion on the album and should have been left on the single.

Mike - 9/10

Afterlife should be contractually obliged to provide a lounge remix of every Dannii single! I much prefer this sultry mix of "You Won't Forget About Me" to the original. Perfect chill out music.

Average score - 7.1/10

18. I Can't Sleep At Night (Afterlife Lounge Mix)

Tommie - 8/10

Chill-out Dannii for the last two tracks of the album. I slightly prefer the "You Want Forget About Me" mix, but both are bliss.

Jay - 8/10

Fabulous and haunting version of this epic!

Natty - 5.5/10

Another porn sounding mix. Still prefer YWFAM though.

Magical Froggy - 7/10

The better of the two Afterlife mixes, and it really allows Dannii's vocals to shine away from the heavy production of the studio version. The restructuring of the harmonies also allows this song to be heard in a new light.

Mike - 10/10

This is Afterlife's finest moment and one of Dannii's best ever remixes. The lush instrumentation is a thing of beauty. A perfect way to finish off a truly magnificent album.

Average score - 7.7/10

Do You Believe Me Now (iTunes Bonus Track)

Tommie - 9/10

Ibiza Dannii strikes again! Sadly, this is only a iTunes bonus track, which is a shame because this is potential single release.

Jay - 3/10

Rather bland.

Natty

Did not review.

Magical Froggy - 10/10

Boo hiss at Roger Sanchez for sticking his oar in over this track getting a full release! One of the best tracks Dannii has ever recorded; an emotional vocal delivery, a reverberating bassline and crisp beats come together perfectly. The album is worth it for this track alone, shame then that it's not actually on it.

Mike - 10/10

Dannii's much anticipated collaboration with Roger Sanchez is superb. This sunny dance anthem is so much sweeter than I expected. The lyrics are cute and Dannii sounds more lovely than ever - if that's even possible! I love the male backing vocals in the breakdown. The mid-tempo pace is also a great introduction to the lounge tracks that follow. Well worth the wait!

Average score - 8/10

In conclusion, "Club Disco" is fucking brilliant. Hurry up and buy it!

5 Reasons Why Dannii Is Better Than Jesus

2008-05-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

Devoted Droids know that Dannii is our true saviour, but why, you might ask? Well, here are 5 indisputable reasons:

1. Dannii Loves The Gays
For years, Dannii has shown her love and devotion to The Gays by performing, being a fag hag and a devoted carpet muncher! She's set her sights on being the most fabulous and fierce Gay Icon in high heels!

2. Dannii Has Better Hair
Jesus' hair is all greasy and disgusting while Dannii's hair looks nice and you want to touch it like that. Get lost, Jesus -you greasy hippie!

3. Dannii Has Holidays
Unlike Jesus, who claims to be our 'saviour', Dannii knows how to take a rest from it all and remains more sane for it! Jesus is just raving mad and has unreasonable demands, unlike Dannii! If it's fun, Dannii's with it - if it's fun, Jesus is against it! Go fuck yourself Jesus!

4. Dannii Gives Us More
Dannii gave us a drug-taking game to "Coconut" - what did Jesus give us? Cheap-ass wine! Boo Jesus! Hurray Dannii!

5. Dannii Loves Anal
Like most of her fans, Dannii loves to do it up the bum (no babies) as indicated on her stunning anthem "Gone". Jesus, on the other hand, is all about fertility and stuff. What a fucking bore! Who would want to follow him anyway?

These are just a few reasons why Dannii should be your true saviour instead of Jesus Christ, but there's many more and I expect to see some of the reasons in the comment field!

Stop Press - Club Dildo Competition!

2008-05-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

Today was better than Christmas. Not only did Central Station kindly send me an autographed copy of "Club Dildo", they also sent me 3 (unautographed - sorry!) copies to give away! Jay is already running a competition, so I decided to run this one from Pop Trash Addicts to avoid any confusion. All you have to do is answer one simple question to be in the running to win this stunning prize! Check out the competition details here. I'll send the CDs anywhere in the world, so our international friends are welcome to enter!

Club Dildo - Autographed!

2008-05-08T04:51:00.000-07:00

You're looking at my very own autographed copy of "Club Dildo" courtesy of our kind friends over at Dannii's label! Isn't it lovely? I can't believe Dannii's delicate fingers touched this piece of paper less than a week ago. Thank you, Central Station. I'll treasure it forever!

Club $ucce$$

2008-05-07T01:34:00.001-07:00

Stop the presses - Dannii actually has $ucce$$! With her music career! Club Disco has exceeded everyone's expectations and is currently at a very respectable number 19 on Australia's iTunes Top 100 albums chart. Too bad it isn't eligible for ARIA, since it might've actually peaked higher than #169.

Australia's Got Talent - Episode 2

2008-05-06T04:35:00.000-07:00

I could write about the dancing grannies, the slutty identical twins or the fabulous drag queen but episode 2 of Australia's Got Talent was all about Dannii dissing Vanessa Amorosi's dad! I was really quite shocked when they announced that Vanessa's father was going to perform - Ness Ness must be hanging her head in shame at the lesbian bar tonight. I didn't think Mr Amorosi was shockingly bad but he certainly doesn't share his daughter's vocal ability. Don't they say these things skip a generation? Anyway, the other two judges that no one cares about voted to put him through to the next round but Dannii bitched about his choice of song, chided him for singing in the wrong key and was the only judge to reject him. Ness Ness is gonna be pissed! Dannii had better watch out or that butch dyke will rip Dannii a new arsehole! I can't wait for Mr Amorosi to return. I bet Vanessa breaks into Dannii's dressing room with a broken bottle and has words with our holy icon! All in all, another stunning hour of trashy entertainment.

Ness Ness always has time for a woolly muff

Blame Nathan!

2008-05-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

A number of fans have been up in arms since Dannii's holy webmaster announced there was a tracklisting error on "Club Disco". Apparently, the "Touch Me Like That" remix featured on the album is not the Space Cowboy Mix as listed. I asked Central Station for some clarification on the matter and also pointed out the iTunes mix up and here's what Dannii's A&R Manager had to say:

I can't see the error with the Space Cowboy mix. This is what Nathan sent over to me and I checked it against the Space Cowboy mixes you can hear on various online record stores and it appears to be the same. Nathan organised for AATW to send me the correct mix, so I assumed it was correct. I've got our digital guys looking at the spelling mistake on the iTunes release. Good spotting!

Dannii looking like SEX at the Logie Awards

2008-05-04T06:12:00.000-07:00

It was great to see the baps were out!

Dannii presented the award for Best Comedy. Anyway, Kath and Kim won. The highlight was seeing Dannii on bended knee presenting the award to Gina Reilly and Jane Turner.

I'm sure once more pics are up and about we'll share them all with you, as well as any footage that may popup on youtube.

Dannii with her Australia's Got Talent judges, Red Symons and Tom Burlinson.

Dannii's CD Launch From Hell

2008-05-04T04:03:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I would like to wholeheartedly apologise to everyone who attended last night's "Club Disco" launch party on my recommendation. I was secretly expecting the worst given the classy venue but even I couldn't foresee the hilarious debacle that ensued. I arrived at Stonewall shortly after 10pm expecting to find the party in full swing. Unfortunately, there was no sign of any Dannii-related activity - only the usual bunch of tragic 18 year old queens. I thought I might have been on the wrong floor, so I asked one of the guys behind the bar. He only gave me a blank look and said "What Dannii party?" Most sane people would have cut their losses but I decided to hang around and mingle with the other bewildered Dannii fans who had started to arrive. Just as I had given up all hope, a pissed tranny grabbed the microphone and made a sarcastic remark about Dannii having another Greatest Hits compilation containing no hits. At least I think that's what she said but it could have been an auditory hallucination because I had been leaving my drink unattended in the vain hope that someone would take pity on me and spike it. After that rousing introduction, they played a couple of Dannii videos on the Jukebox (nothing actually featured on "Club Disco") and that was it! So embarrassing. So tragic. So Dannii.

Club Disco - Available Now!

2008-05-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

Brace yourselves people, "Club Disco" has officially arrived! I stumbled down to my local JB Hi-Fi this morning and found a whopping two copies hidden away under Kylie Minogue! Grrrr! What's worse, both copies were kind of banged up and scratched but I bought them anyway. It really is a fabulous package. The ripped off cover art is lovely and I appreciate the booklet including the lyrics and a pic of the "Touch Me Like That" lesbians! Unfortunately, it seems they have fucked up the Space Cowboy Mix of that classic - yet again. That's not quite as bad as the iTunes release which is selling "Do You Believe Me Now?" under the title "Do You Believe In Me". They have even spelled "Believe" wrong - it's listed as "Beleive"! A little quality control people! The physical version is selling for the bargain price of $18.99, while a digital copy goes for $20.99. Hurry up and buy your copy today! Meanwhile, check out our "Club Dildo" promo if you haven't already. Amusingly, it was briefly the 89th most viewed youtube music video in Australia!!

Dannii's Baps Rock Fashion Week

2008-04-29T22:08:00.001-07:00

The fashion world is still coming to terms with the fabulousness of Dannii's stunning baps at MAC Cosmetics' "Gold Fever" party. Ms Minogue was chosen to perform a medley of disco hits at the Studio 54 themed event and wore an exclusive outfit from J'Aton. Dannii should get that designer to whip up all her costumes because she looks absolutely breathtaking! The Baps, in particular, appear truly epic in that delicious gown! I'm not sure of the setlist but I assume she sang "Xanadu" and possibly "He's The Greatest Dancer" but I'd love to know if she dusted off another disco classic to cover. Fingers crossed that a video of this amazing performance eventually appears on the net!

MSN Viciously Attacks Dannii

2008-04-29T12:20:00.001-07:00

Whilst killing time reading an article on MSN about TV shows past their prime, I was somewhat surprised to see The X Factor being cited as an example. What was even more horrifying was their reason: the Queen of Clubs herself!

TV Shows That Lost It

The X Factor - The addition of Dannii Minogue and Brian
Friedman (followed by his very public humiliation as he
was unceremoniously dumped for being rubbish) speaks
volumes. Tinkering with a format to 'freshen up' or 'sex up'
a show is generally an acknowledgement that it is going stale. In 2007, The
X Factor was only saved by the flamboyance of Rhydian Roberts.

Clearly these sad nobodies feel so bitter about their own lives they have nothing better to do than rip to shreds the hard work that Dannii has put into entertaining the masses. I'd like to see the MSN office geeks singlehandedly juggle successful music and TV careers on opposite sides of the planet. Dannii is a global entertainment icon and deserves respect, not venomous scorn. Shame on you, MSN.

Australia's Got Talent - Episode 1

2008-04-29T04:32:00.000-07:00

Australia's Got Talent returned this evening in a blaze of low brow glory. Seriously, this has got to be one of the trashiest shows in the history of television! Tonight's performances included dancing children, a Middle Eastern tranny impersonating a bird and a barbershop quartet. That's not even mentioning the glorious presence of Ms Minogue! And let's face it, Dannii really is the cherry on top of this deliciously camp concoction.

Our girl really is the star of the show. She never fails to get her baps in a flap over even the most mediocre talent and always heats up the screen with a sexy look or saucy pose while delivering judgement. A perfect example was Dannii's shameless flirting with a muscular wood chopper on tonight's episode. I can't believe she even went back stage to sign his axe! Is no man safe from this desperate woman's clutches?! As fabulous as Dannii's flirting was, the absolute highlight for me was her reaction to the (surprisingly good) Kylie impersonator. I can't wait for the clip to hit youtube because Dannii's face was priceless. You just knew she wanted to give that poor diva the boot! For the sake of future fireworks, I hope faux Kylie makes the final. Bring on next week!

Dannii's Sexual Sunrise Interview

2008-04-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

Here she is, making poor James Tobin blush! He's clearly hungry for The Baps!

Public Service Announcement

2008-04-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

Attention all Aussies.

Don't forget that Australia's Got Talent begins tonight at 7:30pm on ch:7. That's straight after Home and Away.

I expect all of you to be watching tonight, none of this Big Brother shenanigans.

I'd also like to let everyone know that I'm off to tapings this Thursday and the following Tuesday.

That's all.

Club Disco - The Official DDB Promo

2008-04-28T03:55:00.000-07:00

Hot on the heels of our first venture into the world of craptastic video promotion comes our second zero budget youtube extravaganza! I'm proud to present you with our very own contribution to the awe inspiring "Club Disco" publicity blitz - a staggering opus full of celebrity cameos, shocking revelations and stunning imagery. This is our biggest and boldest production yet! Please send the link around to your friends as a reminder of the album's impending release. "Club Disco" might not be chart eligible but we want to remind certain parties that Dannii's loyal fanbase is still very much intact. I'd like to thank Magical Froggy for taking my rough ideas and turning them into something extraordinary. Enjoy!

Dannii - On The Prowl!

2008-04-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

Sydney Confidential is reporting that man hungry Dannii pounced on Sunrise reporter James Tobin during an interview. Someone needs to courier over Dannii's box of toys from the UK before things get out of hand!

SUNRISE junior showbiz reporter James Tobin was apparently like a pre-pubescent teenager after veteran Dannii Minogue turned cougar during a TV chat over the weekend.

Tobin asked the Australia's Got Talent judge if she was seeing anyone, to which she replied she was dating and having fun. A flirtatious Minogue then asked Tobin if he was seeing anyone.

"The room was certainly hot," one studio spy told Confidential.

"She was flirting outrageously with him, and he could barely talk."

Tobin, who replaced Jono Coleman as the brekky-TV entertainment guy, managed to get his act together and complete the interview.

Klub Dizko Owt Nixt Wik Youze Guyz1111

2008-04-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

Yet again evil sistah kile is trying to steal the spotlight from Dannii! The older Minogue sibling is starting her tour next week - days after Dannii's latest stunning compilation of old "hits" you didn't buy the first time round! The bitch.

This shall be a week of great promo! And it shall be rewarded as I have decided to run a small competition.

Submit (and use) your best Club Disco Promo Advert [use the "add comment" feature] and win a prize of little value or significance! I might even post it to you....

As you can see by my excellent photochop skills, the standard is cheap and easy - much like Dannii's taste in lascivious lusty lipstick lesbian lapdancers. Gratuitous placing of the DanniiBaps shall of course count heavily in your favour.

keEp voYtiNk aN maK dAni nUmbaR wUn11111iii212

Club Disco - CD Launch!

2008-04-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

Central Station Records invite you to celebrate the launch of "Club Disco" at Stonewall on the 3rd of May. It sounds like a classy event befitting our fabulous icon, so I'll definitely be dropping by to check things out. Make sure you come over and say hello. I'll be the drunk poof in the corner making uncouth jokes about "Club Dildo". See you there!

Dannii Minogue - The People's Diva

2008-04-25T00:58:00.000-07:00

More stunning promo for Dannii's chart ineligible opus:

SYDNEY'S Kidman clan would do well to take a leaf out of those Melbourne Minogues' book when it comes to dealing with fame.

While the Kidmans are besieged by paparazzi, chased down city streets and their every move monitored, in Melbourne the equally famous Minogues go quietly about their days hardly registering a blip on the celebrity radar.

And don't let anyone tell you it's because Melburnians don't care (the Minogues are considered icons down south, with just about everyone having their own Minogue tale to share).

The family tend to do things with little fuss. Last weekend PS caught up with Dannii Minogue on the set of Australia's Got Talent.

Over a glass of bubbly and chicken sandwiches, the slightly less famous Minogue was refreshingly normal and remarkably candid.

Apart from the well-documented physical transformation she has undergone, not much has changed about the 37-year-old since she first trod the boards on Young Talent Time more than two decades ago.

So, despite the broad nose miraculously disappearing, the even broader Melbourne accent is still there, as are the impeccable manners and all-round niceness this seasoned "hoofer" has become known for. "Oh, thanks, darl," she says when passed a glass of champers.

Minogue has been doing the publicity rounds since arriving back in her hometown. However, unlike other stars (even her own sister) who have journalists corralled into undignified rooms to face demands to see questions before being allowed into the star's suite, Dannii is far more approachable.

At one interview last week, Minogue was due to meet her publicist outside a swanky Melbourne hotel before joining the reporter inside.

A few minutes before the meeting the publicist saw a family station wagon pull up outside the hotel with a familiar face behind the steering wheel - Dannii's mum, Carol Minogue.

Sitting next to Carol was Dannii's granny, while Dannii was in the back seat saying her goodbyes. No limos, no bodyguards and not a single flashbulb.

"It was like watching a soccer mum drop off the kids at the Saturday game … She is totally unaffected," PS's mole reports. And where do Australia's favourite pop divas stay when they are in Melbourne? At home with the folks, of course.

Dannii and Kylie each have bedrooms at Ron and Carol's suburban home, a sizeable McMansion the pop stars bought for their parents and which they privately refer to as "the Taj Minogue".

Read the full article here.

Dannii In Woman's Day

2008-04-25T00:06:00.000-07:00

Dannii graced the pages of Woman's Day this week to promote Australia's Got Talent. The interview isn't exactly revealing but Dannii talks about being single, her feud with Sharon Osbourne and answers the obligatory questions about Kylie's cancer. I'm shocked that Dannii failed to slip in a plug for "Club Disco". She's slipping! I particularly love the new AGT promo pics. Dannii is looking seriously trannytastic in her killer red heels!

Club Disco getting RAVE reviews on the Sanity and JB Hi-Fi websites!!!

2008-04-24T03:23:00.000-07:00

From the Sanity Website!

The nation's Queen of Dance returns with a new artist album for 2008, featuring the UK Dance Chart #1 'Touch Me Like That', plus the hit singles 'Perfection', 'So Under Pressure' and the LMC edit of 'He's The Greatest Dancer'. Dannii's reign as Queen of the Clubs is undeniable, with 13 UK Club Chart #1's and four top selling albums to her name since 1997.

Club Disco also contains a second disc of hot remixes. $ucce$$ indeed!

The JB Hi-Fi Review:

One of the nation's best loved pop princesses returns with a new artist album for 2008, featuring the UK Dance Chart #1 'Touch Me Like That', plus the hit singles 'Perfection', 'So Under Pressure' and the LMC edit of 'He's The Greatest Dancer'. With a starring role as a guest judge on the new series of Australia's Got Talent on Channel 7, plus guest spots on Dancing With The Stars and guaranteed ongoing media appearances and interest, Dannii's profile has never been stronger and will see huge interest in this release Dannii's reign as the Queen Of Clubs is undeniable, with 13 UK club chart #1s and four top selling albums to her name since 1997 (more than any other female artist in history).

Gr8 Promoz uze guyz!!11!!!!

2008-04-24T01:23:00.000-07:00

Here at DDB, we want to make sure Dannii sells more than 10 copies of Club Disco, so I want you all to download some of these craptacular siggies and use them on whatever forums you post on. Spread the word!

Also, don't forget to direct link the image to either SANITY or JB HI-FI. My suggestion is to go with Sanity, as it's $3 more expensive there and Dannii may need the money, I don't really know for sure.

wot makz a dani ahyatahaaa

2008-04-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

It's not easy being a Dannii fan - the endless delays, the string of FLOPS and the fact that going into your local HMV to ask for a copy of her latest single gets you at best a blank look from the bloke behind the counter - though a few have been known to burst into fits of laughter. From those who actually know that the busty beauty has a career outside of being a Sexy Celebrity Sibling, the reaction is pretty much the same - even those who rate Nikki French as a young edgy multiplatinum diva (surely "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" must have sold that much alone given the staggering number of reissues...) mock Dannii fandom!

In the interest of finding out why, I sacrificed my self respect to infiltrate the most heinous of Cults, the Official Dannii Minogue Forum. From mind numbing conversations with the "elite" of Dannii Fandom, The DanDroids (or Droids) and careful spying on the Collective I can exclusively reveal that the world is full of Dannii Haters! The reasons for this can only be fully understood by the most lobotomised of Droids and their self-appointed Queen, the mighty nafensays. Unfortunately, the process has left me a confurmd hayataa and the Droid Police are currently seeking to recover items of importance that I stole for study. I only hope that they do not manage to track this transmission so i may study the items and report on what is so special about this SPayne gwetizt dawnswah singuwl and gR8 pR0mo youze guyz vynwl... I have hijacked Droid "7of9" to send my findings...

dani in da colektiv

*transmission++++ 7of9-2-dhanizduwtybowk++++pozt*

da dani ahtahatz r evrywer

dey iz jelooz ov da zucez ov dani

dey iz jelooz ov da booty dat iz natuwak

sho u da wai 2 go woz a hit coz diz iz zhut woz top wun huwndwed for wekz an chawted hyah dan madoodoo sung i wont u

dani woz famooz fuwst1111

kile da zizta of dani iz a jeloz hayah coz dani woz famoz fuwst

kile sabotagd daniz awbumz

dani iz numbar wun

nafen confurmd1111111111

da hayataz zay dani iz nut da numbar wun coz dey iz jeloz an coz kile iz da fwop

put da newdul on it woz hiya dan cum into mi wurld1111111

$ucce$$1111111111

if naeefen not cumfumrm den iz not tro

grate pR0mo y0UzE guyz1111 kep votink1111

if u sayz dani iz da fwop den u iz da hayata

if u iz not agwe wit nafen den u iz da hayatah

if u iz lykje ol awound da wurld den u iz da hayaha

if u iz sharun ozborn den u iz da fat ugwy owld jeloz hayata

if u iz not votink 4 dani den u iz da hayata

if u iz byink dani singuwlz or awbumbz b4 da bezt ov da fowum den u iz da hayata even do da fowum iz dunlod iwegawy

if u iz nut sendink da empefweza an da skanz 2 da fowum den u iz da hataha

if u iz not dayink dat luv fite iz a bewst sung 4eva den u iz a hayata1111

nafen wil cunfurm dat u iz da hayata

oh noe i iz ben spotid...

+++transmission ednd+++++

The Ultimate Insult

2008-04-22T20:07:00.001-07:00

When I first heard the rumours that "Club Disco" was ineligible to chart in Australia, I thought it was a just another outbreak of irrational Dannii drama but I thought I would check with Central Station just in case. Much to my surprise, the rumours turned out to be true. "Club Disco" won't be appearing on any ARIA chart because her record company has decided not to list the album as chart eligible. I'm not criticising Central Station because I have a feeling this bright idea originated from someone in Dannii's camp but I really can't think of a bigger diss for an artist or their fanbase.

None of the official reasons given are very convincing. Central Station correctly points out that the album is mostly comprised of old tracks. However, if I'm not mistaken, the bonus remix disc was commissioned to address this very problem. They also argue that "Club Disco" has been available for months. That is most certainly true but this is the first time the album has got a physical release anywhere in the world and let's be honest, there have been huge delays with all of Dannii's Central Station output. It also doesn't explain Dannii's current publicity push. Why is she even bothered?

The final reason is actually kind of funny. They claim they don't want to hinder Dannii's chart history if the album flops. The people in charge of Dannii's career have such little faith in her ability to sell records that they would rather spare themselves the embarrassment. How charming! Dannii's album chart history in Australia is as follows:

Dannii - #24
Love & Kisses And... - #98
Get Into You - #53
Girl - #69
The Singles - Did Not Chart
The Remixes - Did Not Chart
Neon Nights - #25
The Hits & Beyond - #67
Unleashed - #165

I really can't imagine how you could possibly tarnish that chart run! We love Dannii, flops and all. Chart disasters simply come with the territory of Dannii fandom. I'm still wholeheartedly excited about getting my hands on a physical copy of "Club Disco" and I hope it's a huge success. I just never thought the day would arrive when Dannii's camp is happy to relegate her album to the rubbish tip of music history before it is even released.

A Dannii's Dirty Box Pictorial Exclusive!

2008-04-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

So tonight was our Dannii's performance on "It Takes Two", and yours truly, along with some other random fans, including some fans of DDB, headed on down to the studios in South Melbourne to see Dannii and get some photos.

Nathan was at the studios as well and I do have to admit I adore his accent! I'm a sucker for different accents, however I think I should stop there as I know Mike will kill me if I say anything too positive about Nathan! I'll just say I got a photo though and I feel like I've met royalty!

Dannii came out more than an hour after the show finished. I assume she was probably either hitting the booze backstage or she was doing some promo for Australia's Got Talent which starts next week.

Here are some of the pics I snapped while seeing Dannii after the show!

Dannii Enthralls The Nation

2008-04-22T04:41:00.000-07:00

Dannii stunned Australia this evening with an electrifying rendition of "Xanadu" on the grand finale of channel 7's "It Takes Two". Everything about the performance was perfect. Dannii looked absolutely amazing, wearing a gravity defying silver dressed - split all the way up to her ladybits with a plunging neckline that proudly displayed her beloved baps. As hard as it was to tear my eyes away from this ravishing goddess for even a second, I did manage to notice that her rollerskate wearing dancers also looked rather fabulous in their camp costumes. From the moment Dannii appeared on stage, I was completely blown away by her blinding charisma and otherworldly vocal ability. The rumour about Dannii performing an uptempo version of "Xanadu" turned out to be true. Some fans were hoping for the album version but a 5 minute chill out interpretation of "Xanadu" just wouldn't work on a camp show like "It Takes Two". It's always a treat to see her perform live and tonight was vintage Minogue. Dannii's vocal delivery was as entrancing as ever and like her sister, Dannii is one of the last great showgirls. She doesn't have the strongest pipes in pop but she more than makes up for it with her stagecraft, dazzling beauty and unparalleled fabulousness. Check it out below!

IT TAKES TWO! AN IMPORTANT REMINDER!

2008-04-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

For all you fabulous Aussies who frequent DDB, a friendly reminder that Dannii's Baps will be gracing Australian television screens tonight as our icon performs a camptastic version of Livvy's "Xanadu"!

I, personally, am still somewhat shitty that Dannii has decided to camp up her version of "Xanadu". I seriously doubt anything could be more camp than the original- unless Olivia herself makes a cameo via a big screen TV and does a duet via satelitte from the Great Wall of China. It would be just like Pricilla! YAY!

Anyway, back to the seriousness of Dannii performing on TV tonight. Make sure you all tune into channel 7 from 7:30 onwards to see Dannii performing live, along with Human Nature and the final battle between Russell Robertson/Kate Ceberano vs Julia Morris/David Hobson.

The Ultimate Fan Video!

2008-04-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

If you need further proof that Dannii is indeed a global icon, simply check out the amazing fan video posted above! The clip stars Victor, a Dannii's Dirty Box regular from Brazil, who took it upon himself to lovingly recreate Dannii's legendary "I Can't Sleep At Night" video. The result is, well, memorable to say the least! I admire Victor's enthusiasm for Dannii and the passion with which he has thrown himself into the role. I'm also endlessly amused by the fact that he appears to be masturbating off screen at one point. This is one classy viewing experience! Victor, we salute you.

Club Dildo Storming The Pre-Order Charts!

2008-04-20T01:58:00.000-07:00

The charts are often a cruel place for our Dannii, but today I was pleasantly surprised to see Club Dildo soaring up the eil.com sales chart; beaten only by Bitch Sister and that withered old husk Madonna! It would appear that impatient Droids the world over are flooding the eil orders department, but at that price they can piss off as far as I'm concerned. If you are looking for a more reasonable price, I suggest you head to JBHiFi, who are selling the album for A$21.99 (with P&P that comes to about £15 for UK customers).

A Different Side Of Dannii

2008-04-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

Since peeling back the flaps of Dannii's Dirty Box in mid 2007, I've spent a reasonable amount of time taking the piss out of our glorious icon. None of it has been mean spirited but Dannii lends herself to a certain amount of ridicule with her endless "fan releases", media scandals and busy holiday schedule. As much as I love Dannii drama (it's more addictive than heroin!), perhaps I don't write enough about the caring and giving woman who devotes much of her non-holiday time to helping AIDS and cancer charities. A perfect example is Dannii's current trek along the Great Wall to raise money for a cancer centre in Melbourne. Not only is Dannii hauling her fabulous baps across the Chinese countryside, she's allowing us to gain a wonderful insight into her heart and mind through her touching diary entries. Behind Dannii's mask of breathtaking fabulousness lies a compassionate and down to earth human being. I've lost family and friends to cancer and I just wanted to express how much I admire and respect Dannii for participating in this event. My Dirty Box colleagues feel the same way and want to convey what Dannii's charity walk means to them. Tommie previously touched on his personal connection to this topic in an earlier post.

Aside from the fact that Dannii has got off her arse and actually done something - despite risking a black eye due to the DanniiBaps bounciness, I am so proud of Dannii for taking this challenge to support such a worthy cause.

Kylie's illness will have had a devastating effect on Dannii as well - because that is what happens when a loved one gets diagnosed. Too hear someones muffled screams of pain (muffled because they are biting the pillow they have shoved their head in and run to the furthest corner of the house and locked the door so that noone else can hear) as cancer ravages their insides is not pleasant - and what makes it worse is you know you can do nothing to help stop the pain. Anyone who has a relative, a friend, a partner who has had cancer will understand how harrowing a time it was for Dannii and the rest of her family - and know why So Under Pressure is so powerful a song.

Dannii did all she could to support her sister and now by doing this walk, she can not only help many more sufferers of cancer but their families, friends and loved ones as well.

Everyone has been touched by cancer in some way or another. I'm so proud of Dannii for getting involved and taking time out from her busy schedule to participate in such an amazing fundraising event that in the end will benefit thousands of people every year.

Dannii's walk through the wilds of China is a perfect example of the fact that her heart matches, if not surpasses, the beauty for which she is so famed. Cancer is not something any of us should ever take lightly, and if caring Dannii raises even a cent towards research that could potentially save just one life, then that is a remarkable thing. What some people may not realise, Dannii's walk also serves another charitable purpose: her mere presence in that land is a beacon of light and hope to those impoverished people who are oppressed by their government. Dannii is a symbol that things can get better.

On a lighter note, it is delightful that Dannii felt the need to reveal her 'before walk' weight on her blog. Only stunning Dannii could combine the tasks of saving lives and weight loss. Fingers crossed you drop those pounds girlfriend!

Dannii's Great Wall Diary - Day 4

2008-04-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

We start the day with a 5 hour bus journey to Dun Huang City. Our bus stops in a lay way to set up our on-the-road toilet, nicknamed, "The Throne"! We step out of the bus, the sun is blazing down heat, and my feet are a metre away from a trail of human feaces! It is explained to us by our local guide that this is normal in China. The side of the road is an open toilet. Men use the left of the highway, and women use the right. Right!

We arrived in Dun Huang and I am happy to see some colour and green. Our eyes have been starved of colour, and it feels as though we have just stepped from an old Hollywood black and white Western film in to a 3-D Bollywood film. There is a fanfare for our arrival - pretty young dancers with full performance make up, all dressed in spangly bright costumes - pink, yellow and blue.

We are served a Chinese feast for lunch. The tables are covered in plates heaving with steaming food. I eat one unidentified dish…I must be getting brave. It is like blocks of clear jelly. I am told after it has pork rind in it. For a Vegetarian of 23 years I should be close to vomiting, but I couldn't taste or smell it, so I decide it was just a noodle.

We have a gentle stroll today, an excursion to the Mogao Grottoes. These are hand dug caves in the side of a mountain with sand dunes in the distant that look so perfect my mind tells me they must be a painted backdrop at the London Opera. We visit three of the larger caves - all with Buddha paintings and statues. I am sad to say there were no photos allowed, as it is one of the most breath taking sites I have ever seen. When we step inside, it is dark and freezing cold (Ancient Air Con!). We stand at the feet of one Buddha, 113 feet high. The surrounding walls and ceilings are decorated with thousands of intricate individual drawings of Buddha that pattern around like tiles. This has been a place of contemplation for centuries. Buddhist Monks used to live here and famous artists made these Deities to inspire and span 10 Dynasties, last through wars and even a few earthquakes. I feel small, humbled and while processing why I am here, the word 'acceptance' repeats in my head.

On returning to the hotel I am moved by what I have seen and tears of sorrow stream down my face, for the ones I have lost to Cancer. Three friends - one was my best friend. We were sitting around chatting one day when she noticed she had a pain like a Kidney infection. The following day she was taken to hospital. I sat by her side for three months watching the devastation of Cancer take over. We went through the horrific diagnosis that she was not going to survive. 36 years old, my friend was never to leave that hospital. In the most serene organised way, she planned her funeral and gave family and friends specific details to take care of. All I could do was rub her feet and look into her eyes and try to be brave. Six months after her passing I find myself with all her loved ones on a beach to scatter her ashes into the sea, as requested. There is nothing that can take your breath away more than holding ashes of your dear young lost friend in your hand, and un-curling finger by finger until they float away in the tide. I was numb all over.

This was just over a year ago - and I am now here, in Central China, crying and trying to 'accept' this personal devastation. Most of the walkers on this trip have no idea what I had been through, and suspect I am walking since my experience of my sister's breast cancer. I wish that was the only reason. With one friend surviving Leukaemia, 4 surviving cancer, three friends lost to cancer and two currently being treated for cancer, the numbers are staggering.

Please please please help me raise money to find a cure for this illness that is plaguing our lives. I don't want to live with it, and I don't want to fight it - just find a cure and move forward to a time when it will no longer be a part of our world.

With love that stretches farther than the Great Wall is long
Thanks for taking this journey with me
Love and Kisses
Dannii x

WEIGH IN: 46.5

Dannii's Great Wall Diary: Day 3

2008-04-17T02:55:00.000-07:00

Weigh In: 46.5kg

Today we trek through the Gobi Desert. The sun is hot and a cold wind whips at us from one side. Sunscreen is a must, as the rays sneak on to our skin without us feeling them; the wind has a way of gently numbing any exposed areas.

Report of the Day: The Great Wall is not so great! Well at least not this stretch, which had fallen down in many sections, and in others looked like a sand dune. I manage to climb to the top and walk like I used to as a kid along the top of a wall. I could see for miles. I felt happy and on top of the world.

There is no other way to describe today, but a long trek through the desert. The sand is as fine as dust so most walkers wear surgical masks to stop inhaling and swallowing it. We looked like a trek group that is in fancy dress code

Theme: Nurses.

Half way through the 12kms, a train track runs over the wall. It looks strong and shiny new. We check the line is free of oncoming trains and a few of us proceed to do a photo shoot lying on the track. It is just so tempting to lie across the tracks - like a kind of Vertigo. So stupid, but you just can't help yourself!

I show Olivia my Aussie Flag and we take it for a run. The surroundings are so barren and without colour, that the flag is a feast to our eyes.

Even though Olivia is sick with the flu, she takes every step with us. This wonderful lady has the strongest will power and I see her fight on, even when she is struggling.

We see just three signs of native life the whole way. A small lizard that we play with as we are so amused that anything is able to survive out here; a small animal skull, and a dead snake! This place is tough!

I have a long chat with Scott, one of our Cancer survivors. He is always at the front of the pack, so we walk and talk. A firefighter who had two brushes with Cancer.

One so strong he was administered 'fatal doses' of Chemo. He recounts his story of telling the doctors to do whatever they had to, as he had a wife and kids to look after - and he wasn't ready to go just yet! I ask if he misses his family? This big strong man made of muscle and a steel determination bursts into tears.

All I can do is hug him. "This is my first trip outside of Australia", he says, "I miss my family. My wife has been my rock and my kids gave me a reason to survive". I find out later that day when I speak to his lovely wife on the phone that she had lost her father and brother to Cancer prior to Scott's Cancer. My heart sinks - and that is why we are here. To raise money for the Olivia Newton-John Cancer and Wellness Centre.

With calf muscles as tight as rocks, I hobble to bed, as another big day lies ahead

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz Good Night

Hugs and Chopsticks from China

Dannii x

PS. please sponsor our steps - whatever you can do will make a difference around the globe

For more information, you can visit www.greatwalktobeijing.com

Tommie's Conspiracy Corner

2008-04-17T02:16:00.000-07:00

We here at Dannii's Dirty Box firmly believe that Dannii has been robbed of several platinum awards. A recently conducted poll shows that 2 out of 3 people would rather buy a Dannii Minogue album than get stabbed, yet our busty beauty gets no sales! We here at Dannii's Box suspect foul play! But who would want to sabbotage for our long suffering heroine?

Kylie did it.
Obviously, the prime suspect is Dannii's much older sister. From writing the sub-par "Love Traffic", a tribute to Dannii's glorious vagina, to getting cancer, this old bag can't stop sabotaging her more talented sister! We at the Box love Dannii's ugly sister, but isn't it time she stopped being so damn jealous of her sister's stunning $ucce$$?

Beyoncé did it.
In the early 90s Beyoncé formed the group Destiny's Child. In 1993 Dannii released her stunning mega-flop "Get Into You". Coincidence? We think not! Beyoncé was obviously threathened when she heard Dannii's edgy urban sound on 1991's "Love & Kisses" album and decided to weavelash all copies out of rotation! We have no problem with her murdering the careers of Kelly Rowland and Amerie but she needs to back the fuck off Dannii's!

The airlines did it.
Dannii's love for holidays is known worldwide, so no wonder that it's in the airlines best interest not to lose their best customer. Proof? Well, have you ever been offered to buy a Dannii album while flying? We haven't! They're all obviously haters that needs to get a life!

Terry Ronald did it.
Terry (or "Tezza", as he likes to be called) has been invovled in some of the best Dannii productions, but we here at the Box suspect that "Tezza" has been up to no good! Why? Isn't it clear that if Dannii hit the big-time she would hire better and more famous producers? We're on to you Tezza!

The D-Files are far from closed, but these are the most obvious suspects! I hope the listed Dannii haters get a life after this shocking revelation and allow Dannii to reach a higher peak than #48 next time she decides to get off her ass to put a vocal on another amazing club instrumental!

Dannii's Diary: Day 2

2008-04-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

First day of walking and I am faced with a vertiginous climb. Wow! Have I done my training for this – sure!!!! I wore in my trekking boots by putting them on while I typed some emails at home the night before I left Melbourne, and I did a few climbs 2 weeks ago in Los Angeles – yup...I’m nervous!

This is the mountainous part of the Great Wall, where it sits between the Black Mountains and the Qilian snow capped mountains. It is a few kilometers up to the highest Northern viewing point then a 9km descent to the Jiayuguan Pass and Fortress. As you can see we are amazed to be here and stop to capture it on loads of "happy snaps" – or breathing stops! The air is very thin and the altitude is making my heart best like a caged Tyrannosaurus.

AJ and I are comparing our "weigh ins" for the day – everyone is expecting to lose weight on this trip, but as a late comer to the event, I’m told that none of the others have so far; even with the long days of climbing, and unusual meals that are sometimes not at all appetizing. Adam has brought me up to speed with his story of being the Real Aussie GAY Cowboy, and I tell him, it doesn’t get any gayer than taking a stroll with Olivia and me singing Xanadu!

Walking through the fortress we stop for some arrow shooting – I split when I saw Johanna Griggs giving Kieren Perkins advice, as she was laughing out the side of her mouth, as I was standing right behind them. I am amazed at the amount of time Olivia manages to spend with all of sponsored walkers – she absolutely loves to see we are all okay and loves to catch up on giggles and heart felt moments. She is always there with the biggest hug.

As we are in the desert, any form of vanity has gone out the window – dust masks are needed for long treks across the desert plains – on returning to the hotel, I can report that we are covered in it, and I confess to finding dust in every orifice – and that is not a nice feeling! The water that we shower in has a brown colour, and so getting clean is done as quickly as possible.

Tip of the day: do not drink any tap water. It is wise to make sure none gets swallowed in the shower too!

Weigh in: 47.2 kilos

Pedometer says we have done 16.05 kms today!!!!! Having dodged Donkey, Lamb and something that looked like Chicken-ish, at our Mongolian Feast last night – I take my vegetarian taste buds to the buffet in the hotel and knock back some red wines with the gang.
My feet are now in my Ugg boots and I’m feeling fine! Dim Sum and hugs from Disco Dannii in China x

Dannii's Photo Album from the Herald Sun!

DanniiWalk - Update

2008-04-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Stunning new photos of Dannii in action have appeared!

And my favourite:

Though Dannii has yet to update her blog, she appears to have updated her outfit three times on day one alone!

Dannii - "Good Health" Covergirl!

2008-04-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

Dannii Minogue is a judge on Channel Seven's Australia's Got Talent. Here, she talks to Kate Minogue about the joy of coming home.Australia's Got Talent is just so much fun.

There's the great reward of giving these kids a chance to start. For me it's a dream job. We shoot it in Melbourne, so I'm able to catch up with friends and family. Doing an entertainment show — which is what I started with at Young Talent Time and working with some of the same crew — it feels like I've come full circle. The show really makes me laugh — and laughter is always good medicine.

I'm doing The X Factor in England, and as judges we're in mentoring roles. It's been a huge learning curve for me because I've never mentored anyone before.

Two major things have been life-changing for me. I got married and divorced when I was very young. Looking back, I guess I was naive that everything would be perfect and like a fairy tale, and it didn't work out that way. That kind of shocked me because I didn't expect it to happen to me. I think I was a bit of a scaredy cat for a long time after that. My friends tell me I had barriers up around me because I was scared of getting hurt again.

When my sister [Kylie] was dealing with breast cancer — and the whole world was involved — that was hard. My main goal was to get her better, and I understood why people were interested and grateful that they cared, but it was tricky because at the same time, as a family, we needed some level of privacy.

I was happy to give all of myself, whatever it took to make her time and space clear so she could deal with what she was going through. She needed family and friends to support her and give her energy to get through it, and everybody was there and happy to do it. But it was difficult because it seemed the world's media wanted to be involved.

Since then, life has not been the same. I can't walk out the door without someone recounting a story: “my mum had cancer”. I care for anyone having to deal with cancer, so I am participating in The Great Walk To Beijing with Olivia [Newton-John] to raise funds for a cancer ward, but I don't want cancer to be part of everyday life.

London is where I live, and Australia is home. Initially, I went to London for a three-week trip, and now I'm in my 18th year there. My mum is Welsh, so there is a family connection. I never intended to stay that long.

A lot of performers have a career plan but I don't. Work has kept me in the UK. My only clear idea is that I don't want to be in the UK forever. I always want to come back to Australia for part of the year. And now I have got this itch that I want to go to the US.

I am single right now, and I know I don't want to be a single parent. It looks way too hard. I have never had that maternal urge. I have got my nephew, my brother [Brendan] has a baby son and I'm godmother to two friends' children, and that keeps me going. You see women having children at an older age and it gives you hope that it might be possible if I wanted to at some point.

To keep fit I love to walk — it's my favourite thing. I'm walking everywhere at the moment to get ready for Olivia's walk. I love swimming too but you don't get to swim much in London. I'm also doing some yoga but I'm only at the beginners' stage.

I love cooking for friends. I cook risotto and now I can make lasagne too, and last night I stuffed zucchini flowers out of our garden.

When people meet me they are surprised that I'm so tomboyish. My sister is the eldest, then there's my brother and I'm the youngest. I was always trying to keep up with him. I still have daredevil instincts. I'm into car racing and I've swum with sharks at the Melbourne aquarium.

For the full story, see the May 2008 issue of Good Health & Medicine magazine.

Official Club Disco Cover Art

2008-04-14T04:25:00.000-07:00

Central Station kindly sent me the official "Club Disco" cover art this afternoon and I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, it's still VERY similar to the UK edition but at least they have had the decency to jazz up that hideous font with a little bit of sparkle and I love the box touting Dannii's number 1 club hits! Hopefully they will also add a sticker that says "Featuring all the #1 hits mentioned by Daryl Somers on Dancing With the Stars!". I still think my "Club Dildo" covers packed a bigger punch but this is nice and I can't wait to see it in my local JB Hi-Fi!

Unfortunately, I'm less enthusiastic about the back cover (below) as posted on Dannii's forum. The choice of image and font is almost identical to a fan made cover I posted in Dannii's Dirty Box on the 7th of November 2007. Check out that post here. They've even used the same barcode! I'm certain Central Station are completely unaware of this but it's still really poor. I've brought the matter to the company's attention and I await their response.

DanniiWalk - Day One!

2008-04-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

The busty beauty herself is keeping us abreast of happenings with blogs on myspace and with the Herald Sun!

Here is what the pop stunner had to say on her myspace.

Dannii with Livvii

"DANNII MINOGUE : THE GREAT WALK TO BEIJING - DAY ONE
Well...This Is It. (!) I am embarking on a life-changing journey that involves Cancer - but this is the first one I have chosen! I have had family and many friends who have survived this disease, and two dear friends that I have lost. Cancer seems to be more and more a part of everyone's life. Why? - I want to scream as loud as I can.

Everyone taking part in The Great Walk to Beijing is on a personal mission - survivors, medics and others like me who have seen in close quarters, this devastating illness.

Dannii with Adam Sutton & Olivia Newton-John

Two flights from Melbourne I end up at the beautiful Ritz Carlton in Beijing. After checking in and meeting a few of the team, we hear a famous Jamaican called AJ singing in the lobby... but opera! It wasn't exactly what I was expecting to hear on my first visit to China... but it was "a yes from me" - this guy moves us with his vocal ability. I ask him if he will join us on the walk, come meet Olivia and sing for her too. Apparently the wheels are in motion for AJ to meet us on the wall - so before I have even made my first sponsored steps, I have recruited a random.

A welcome nights sleep in a bed that is like a cloud, then we are up early to depart Beijing - a city of 16 million people with smog thick enough it cuts the view of the sun.

Our first flight lands in Xian. We touch down briefly enough to reboard a flight to Jiayuguan. We are now in Western China in a desert city that seems positively deserted. After two days of non-stop travel, I am over air transport and can't wait to get my walking boots on and 'Get physical'!

Love and Dim Sum from Disco Dannii in China x

TIP OF THE DAY: carry toilet paper - you will never find that in the public toilets.

FACT OF THE DAY: 8 is a lucky number and 'Eggplant' is what they say in Chinese when they take happy snaps - like we say "cheese".

WEIGH IN: 48.5kilos."

Beyond fabulous! Make sure you sponsor Dannii and check with us at DDB for the latest updates on Dannii's travels.

Dannii's Adventure!

2008-04-13T16:47:00.001-07:00

If you didn't know, our Dannii is in China walking despite her fabulous baps handicapping her immensely. I think I speak for everyone at Dannii's Dirty Box when I say that I fully respect and admire Dannii doing this walk! My grandmother died of cancer, so Dannii's adventure means a lot to me and is another example of Dannii's stunning $ucce$$ as a human being! Is there anything this woman won't do?

No, there really is not. All hail Dannii, Queen of all our souls!

More footage of Dannii and the Great Wall of China

2008-04-13T02:58:00.000-07:00

This is my first post on DDB, so I'm awfully excited! YAY me! I was shocked to hear Dannii declare that she had flown into China from Melbourne. Why the fuck was I not informed she was in Melbourne? I just assumed she was still running around the streets of America flashing people!

DANNII WANTS YOUR SPONSORSHIP!

I demand everyone does as Dannii says! Sponsor her so she has more sponsorship deals than Cliff Richard. Don't let Old Cliff beat our Dannii! We need to show just how many fans she has if we all sponsor her! Even if it's like $10 it's all for a good cause!

Sponsor Dannii's baps, I mean steps!

The Grand Re-Opening Of Dannii's Box!

2008-04-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

The time has come to gently brush the cobwebs off Dannii's Dirty Box and resume our worship of pop music's most fabulous diva! I've only been away for a little over a month but there has been no shortage of stunning developments. Dannii began April by making a spectacle of herself in America (read more here) before bravely signing on for Olivia Newton-John's charity walk along the Great Wall Of China. After returning from her Chinese odyssey Dannii will resume hosting duties for "Australia's Got Talent" and promote the local release of her fabulous "Club Disco" album (affectionately known as "Club Dildo"). The highlight of Dannii's unprecedented barrage of promotion promises to be her performance of "Xanadu" on the finale of "It Takes Two" scheduled for the 22nd of April. Expect a wave of discomania to engulf the nation! In the meantime, please check out DDB's first video extravaganza featuring exclusive, never before seen footage of Dannii in China! Many thanks to Magical Froggy for assembling this gem for me!

Before I get around to updating you all on Dannii's latest antics, I'd like to announce a major change to the blog. Namely, I've invited four new members to join Dannii's Dirty Box! I was finding it difficult to maintain two blogs (in addition to working full time and trawling the streets of Sydney for cheap thrills), so I called on some friends to share the workload. If you've been part of Dannii's online community for any length of time, chances are you'll already know my new co-authors. I'm not about to let any old riff raff inside the hallowed walls of Dannii's Box, so please rest assured that these connoisseurs know their stuff. I've included a short bio and an interview with each member. Please make them welcome!

Tommie

Dannii's biggest, and possibly only, Swedish fan. Loves vodka, sailors and the queen of Swedish pop (the legendary Bionda). Dreams of one day oiling Dannii's buns in Ibiza. The only new member not currently banned from the Dannii Board but give him time.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
Circa 2002 when "Put The Needle On It" leaked. I was dead-sure it was to be her first ever number one! No, seriously. But at least she charted higher than Kylie's massive flop single "Come Into My World".

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
Tough one! I'd have to say "I Begin To Wonder" to be honest. Everything was so right with that release - Dannii was robbed! I do love songs like "Attitude" for all the wrong reasons though.

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
Just her studio albums? "Neon Nights". But I probably listen to "The Hits & Beyond" more! SO. MANY. NUMBER. ONES.

4. Dannii's defining moment?
When the DWTS host in Australia mentioned all her massive number ones, of course! Take that Kylie! Lezziigate and flashing her tits in Playboy come a close second.

5. What do you love most about Dannii?
The grand delusion that comes with being a Dannii fan. The hopeless dreams as a fan that her next single is her first ever number one. The anticipation that Sony BMG will save Dannii's music career. The compulsive thoughts that the club charts do matter. And so on.

Magical Froggy

Representing the UK, Magical Froggy has worshipped the Queen of Clubs for more than a decade. Well known across the internet for his sublime and hilarious artwork, Magical Froggy (or Neptune as he is perhaps better known) is the man behind such legendary creations as the DanniiGoose and Where's Janet? as well as 95% of the artwork to feature on Dannii's Dirty Box.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
Although I used to watch Dannii in Home & Away (how could I forget her sunning herself on that lovely rock in the credits?!), and was aware of her early musical efforts, it wasn't until "Girl" that she truly caught my attention. I was entranced by this stunning blonde creature belting out "All I Wanna Do" on TOTP completely unaware that it was THE Dannii Minogue. I have been entranced by the more talented Minogue ever since...

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
"So Under Pressure" - the heartfelt lyrics about how Dannii felt following Kylie's cancer diagnosis are perfectly complemented in the video by bikinis and snakes.

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
"Girl" even the bad tracks are fascinating!

4. Dannii's defining moment?
Climbing out of a giant toilet on childrens' TV!

5. What you love most about Dannii?
Her determination to carry on, despite her bitch sister constantly trying to overshadow the true talent in the family.

Jay

Jay (also known as Queen Of Flops and Mr Grumpy) keeps the flame of Dannii fandom burning bright in Ireland. Renowned for his no nonsense demeanor and sharp tongue, this Dannii fan eats droids for breakfast. He was also famously accused of breaking into AATW's warehouse to steal an advance copy of "The Hits & Beyond". Jay's goal in life is to spend as much time as Dannii doing nothing.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
Though I knew of her due to her less $ucce$$ful sibling, it was the epic performance of "All I Wanna Do" in the ripped dress that cemented my Dannii Fandom.

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
"Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling", with "I Can't Sleep At Night" and the sublime "Am I Dreaming" close second and third.

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
"Girl" - though "The Hits & Beyond" is my favourite "Greatest Hits" album of all time.

4. Dannii's defining moment?
The classy spreads for Playboy.

5. What do you love most about Dannii?
Her dedication. To holidaying!

Natty

A long time Dannii fanatic from Melbourne, Natty fantasises about fisting Delta Goodrem and hopes to one day marry Grant Denyer. Natty has met Dannii several times and is well known and loved by anyone who has ever ventured onto a Minogue forum.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
I don't really remember, the first song I can remember clearly was "This is It", so I'm guessing the 15 years or so ago when that was released.

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
Nothing makes me moister than the gaytastic mardi gras anthem that is "Everlasting Night"!

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
Does "The Hits & Beyond" count? Actually I will go with "Neon Nights" because it's pure Dannii bliss.

4. Dannii's defining moment?
Being at Rod Laver Arena for the final Homecoming concert and watching Dannii upstage big sis Kylie while singing "Kids". I think I wet myself a little, seeing both girls on stage in Melbourne and being in the crowd to witness it.

5. What you love most about Dannii?
The music obviously, and she's such a hilarious and warm person in real life. It's just a shame that the record companies often seem to stuff her around so she seems like this lazy sod who can't be assed doing anything!

I'd like to thank everyone for their e-mails and comments encouraging me to start posting again. I really hope you will enjoy the new and hopefully improved Dannii's Dirty Box!

I'm Closing Dannii's Box

2008-03-03T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well, not permanently - just until Dannii pulls her finger out and does something! I hate leaving weeks between posts, so I thought it best to take a little break while Dannii works on her tan and prepares for the second season of Australia's Got Talent. I'll continue to feature Dannii on my other blog and promise to let everyone know when this place re-opens. Fingers crossed that Dannii unveils another stunning reworked club instrumental in the very near future!

Where The Fuck Is Dannii?

2008-02-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

I apologise for the lack of recent updates but it's hard to write about Dannii when she appears to have dropped off the planet! It's almost eerie - an entire week with no stunning promo, trashy newspaper articles or sexy scandals. So I ask you all, where the fuck is Dannii and what is our goddess up to?!

Dannii Reveals All

2008-02-06T19:01:00.000-08:00

Will the unprecedented promotion of "Touch Me Like That" in Australia never end? After ringing around a couple of radio stations last week, Dannii has now granted an interview to the Australian dance music website Inthemix. Check it out here. The article is a great read, concentrating on Dannii's music instead of the usual "How does it feel to live in Kylie's shadow?" crap. It's interesting to learn how "Touch Me Like That" originated and I loved reading about Dannii's clubbing habits in Ibiza. The interview also confirms that "Club Disco" will get a physical release in Australia and contains possibly the best Dannii quote I've ever read. When asked what the future holds, Dannii replies:

My ambition is to spread happiness around the globe in the highest stacked, most gorgeous heels I can find.

FIERCE!

A special thanks to Natty for the fabulous picture.

Dannii - Queen Of Czechs?

2008-02-04T18:26:00.000-08:00

In further proof of Dannii's global superstar status, "Touch Me Like That" is currently a top 20 hit - in the Czech Repbulic. Take that, Kylie!

Chart $ucce$$!!

2008-02-02T03:53:00.000-08:00

The $ucce$$ continues unabated for Dannii's "Touch Me Like That", this week topping the Chaos sales chart. I wonder how high the song would have charted had it been eligible. Top 50?

Stop Press - Dannii Not A Flop!!

2008-01-31T22:52:00.000-08:00

In a stunning development, I have to report that Dannii did NOT a flop! After the shocking absence of "Touch Me Like That" from this week's ARIA singles chart, I brazenly christened Dannii the new Queen of flops. Fans rumbled that the single might not have been chart eligible but I initially dismissed it as Dannii droid paranoia. I was wrong and they were right. I questioned ARIA and received an e-mail from them this morning stating that "Touch Me Like That" was ineligible to chart as a single due to the tracklisting. The representative also stated that sales were "healthy"! I have no idea what that means but I assume "Touch Me Like That" would have at least scraped into the top 100. $ucce$$.

I should have had more faith in Holidannii's massive popularity but the question remains why the single included so many remixes. It's ridiculous that Dannii gets punished for being generous to fans but there's still no explanation why 13 tracks were included in the first place. Central Station cater to DJs and often include 10 or more remixes - they must have known from past experience that the single would be ineligible to chart. The charts are of little relevance to a niche club release but Dannii is a commercial artist who needs to appear on radio and tv chart countdowns. What is going on? File this under: It could only happen to Dannii!

Meanwhile, it seems I wasn't the only one questioning ARIA about Dannii's chart performance. The fat bitches at Sydney Confidential found the time to whip up a nasty little article praising the song but questioning Dannii's involvement. As much as I love Jason Nevins, "Touch Me Like That" would be nothing without Dannii's heavenly vocals and S&M tranny get up! Check out the article below.

Dannii Calls In From South Africa

2008-01-30T04:08:00.000-08:00

Dannii has taken the unprecedented step of interrupting her holiday to promote "Touch Me Like That" - via telephone. The queen of clubs/flops has been racking up some huge phone bills dialling various Australian radio stations over the past couple of days. Yesterday's appearance on the Hamish & Andy show was particularly enlightening. Among other juicy tidbits, Dannii revealed that she recently sat in the front row of a Spice Girls concert and then went backstage to stalk "Golden Balls" (ie. David Beckham). Apparently Dannii was interested in checking out his bulge after seeing the photo below. Dirty Dannii!!

The desperate diva also confirmed that she cyber-stalked Robin Thicke (below) but gave up when she realised he was married. I can see the appeal! Other juicy tidbits include a confirmation that Dannii is returning for series 2 of "Australia's Got Talent" and the usual spiel about being "club royalty" and the hazards of her lofty gay icon status.

There really is a recurring theme about Dannii being high and dry. And the real reason can finally be revealed - Dannii's chandeliers! In possibly the most ridiculous (yet unbearably fabulous) article I have ever read, Dannii blames her lack of bedroom action on her light fixtures:

Dannii Minogue’s social life has been ruined by her new chandeliers. The X Factor judge — who recently confessed she is single and desperate to find a boyfriend — has been unable to invite anyone back to her place for weeks as the floor of her London home is covered in sparkling glass lamps.

In a sign that Armageddon is nigh, that glorious piece of journalism was considered newsworthy enough to feature on The Times Of India. Last but not least is the startlingly news that "Touch Me Like That" has climbed to #96 on the Australian iTunes album chart! Finally some $ucce$$!

Dannii - Queen Of Flops

2008-01-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

Dannii's string of 8 consecutive Australian top 40 hits comes to a screeching halt with "Touch Me Like That". Minogue Jr's massive UK flop has performed even worse in Australia with no sign of the single in the physical top 50 or the top 20 for Australian artists. In all likelihood, "Touch Me Like That" missed the top 100 altogether. The saddest thing about the situation is the fact that it was entirely foreseeable. What chance did the song have with zero airplay and no promotion? I notice that Dannii has a stack of radio interviews scheduled for this week but, unfortunately, I think it's too little too late.

Single Of The Week!

2008-01-24T23:37:00.000-08:00

$ucce$$! "Touch Me Like That" is the Daily Telegraph's well deserved single of the week. The critics (well, one critic) love it but the song is still nowhere to be seen on the iTunes chart. Fingers crossed that the physical single is flying out of stores or this will be Dannii's biggest "fan release" yet!

Dannii Lands In South Africa

2008-01-23T14:38:00.000-08:00

Here's a snap of our holy priestess arriving in South Africa on the 17th of January. I'm glad Holidannii is staying true to form by squeezing in yet another trip. It's not like she has a new single to promote or anything. Oh wait.

Amazing Promo!

2008-01-20T03:22:00.000-08:00

I almost spat out my toast when I opened today's Sunday Telegraph and saw Dannii on the back cover! It's great to finally see some promotion for "Touch Me Like That" even if the accompanying article is yet another boring blurb about Dannii living in Kylie's shadow. However, I do love the fact that the journalist talks about Dannii's rapidly expanding UK fanbase but conveniently chooses to overlook the floptastic chart placing of her fabulous anthem. The article also confirms that Dannii will return for the second season of Australia's Got Talent. I just wish they had delayed the single until then - a stunning performance on Sunrise or Dancing With The Stars would have virtually assured another #37 smash hit.

"Touch Me Like That" is available to buy now. I had to look around to find a copy but eventually located one in JB Hi-Fi. The single has also finally appeared on iTunes. Get downloading, bitches!

TMLT Aus Exclusive!

2008-01-16T13:59:00.000-08:00

I take back all the nasty things I said about the Australian release of "Touch Me Like That". The official tracklisting has finally been revealed and the Australian single will contain 7 additional remixes - bringing the total to a whopping 13! A different cover and a new B-side would have been nice but this is fantastic. There are new mixes by Space Cowboy and Fugitives and I can't wait to hear the "Soul Seekerz Feel Me Dirty Dub"! The full tracklisting is below:

1. Touch Me Like That (Radio Edit)
2. Touch Me Like That (Space Cowboy Radio Edit)
3. Touch Me Like That (Stonebridge Club Mix)
4. Touch Me Like That (Jason Nevins Remix)
5. Touch Me Like That (Soul Seekerz Club Mix)
6. Touch Me Like That (Soul Seekerz Feel Me Dirty Dub)
7. Touch Me Like That (Jack Rokka Remix)
8. Touch Me Like That (Jack Rokka Dub)
9. Touch Me Like That (Lmc Remix)
10. Touch Me Like That (Fugitives Touched Up Mix)
11. Touch Me Like That (Extended Mix)
12. Touch Me Like That (Space Cowboy Dub)
13. Touch Me Like That (Stonebridge Dub)

You can listen to clips of all the mixes and order the CD single from Chaos. Hopefully this induces a few more fans to part with their cash. I already know several international fans who have now decided to order it. Number 87 here we come!

My "Touch Me Like That" Rant!

2008-01-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

Dannii's stunning UK mega-flop "Touch Me Like That" is released in Australia on Saturday. I hope the song can maintain Dannii's amazing run of top 40 hits but I fear the worst given the complete lack of promotion and radio airplay. I understand that it's hard to promote "Touch Me Like That" with Dannii missing in action but there's no excuse for the single still not being on iTunes (you can download it from a Wild compilation) or the lacklustre tracklist. Dannii has a strong fanbase but the majority of us have already bought the UK single (or illegally downloaded it), so there is little motivation to buy the Australian version when it's completely identical. Is it really so hard to whip up a different cover and stick on one of the several hundred unreleased tracks Dannii has lying around as a B-side? I'll be buying "Touch Me Like That" regardless. I hope the rest of her fans are as charitable.

By the way - the photo shoot above is FABULOUS!!!!

Dannii > Madonna

2008-01-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

It's blindingly obvious that Dannii is a better pop star than Madonna. Dannii has a better voice, more charisma and endless sex appeal. However, there remains a deluded minority who cling to the pitiful idea that dirty, old Madge is still the queen of pop. Here are three pieces of irrefutable evidence that prove once and for all that Madonna is the poor man's Dannii.

Exhibit A

Even at the tender age of 13, Dannii's stunning stagecraft blew Madonna out of the water. This magnetic performance of "Holiday" reflects a burning talent that Madonna can only dream of. Pay particular attention to the awesome choreography and Dannii's amazing pink gloves.

Exhibit B

By the ripe old age of 16, Dannii had already surpassed Madonna as both a dancer and a vocalist. Dannii's ability to move her head at all with that crazy perm defies belief. Be stunned and amazed as Dannii sings "True Blue" in a fabulous array of 80s designs - each with shoulder pads bigger than the other. Note the breathtaking choreography during the final sequence with the boys dressed in white. Madonna wishes she could display such raw and smoldering sexuality!

Exhibit C

I'm sure everyone is more than convinced by now but if you need further proof of Dannii's clear superiority, watch this riveting rendition of "Open Your Heart". Dannii takes yet another Madonna hit to an entirely new level with her dramatic performance. This spectacularly staged number finds Dannii wandering around what appears to be a border crossing dotted with plastic trees and police sirens. Prepare yourself for the stunning reveal, when Dannii whips off her jacket and displays some of the finest moves in the history of dance.

Q.E.D.

Dannii's Pole Dancing Lesson!

2008-01-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

I came across this clip of Dannii pole dancing on flopPOP and was instantly smitten. This short piece of footage sums up so much of what I love about the most $ucce$$ful Minogue (in clubland anyway!) - she is so unaffected for a celebrity and clearly doesn't take herself or the world too seriously. Even Dannii's speaking voice is unusual for an Australian star. Everyone from Kylie to Nicole Kidman sports a bizarre half-English or American accent, while Dannii still sounds like a rough bitch from the suburbs of Melbourne. Bless! The segment was recorded for Dannii's massive worldwide hit "Put The Needle On It" and naturally our holy icon decided to promote the single by learning to pole dance under the instruction of a buxom blond stripper. No comment!

Dannii Update 2008

2008-01-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

It seems appropriate to open Dannii's Dirty Box for the first time in 2008 with a picture of our goddess doing what she does best - looking sexy by a swimming pool! There isn't a lot to report about Dannii at the moment but there are at least three interesting developments.

1. AskMen.com reveal that Dannii is horny and stalks men on the internet out of desperation! My favourite quote is: "I do really need a man and I mean a real man. Being a gay icon, you have the best times at the best parties, but you just know that all the good-looking men are gay!" Read the complete article here. Dannii, I feel your pain!

2. In a recent interview with an Australian gay magazine, Kylie has indicated that she wants to perform at this year's Mardi Gras - with Dannii! Once again, the older Minogue is using Dannii's stardom to draw a crowd but it would be great to see the sisters at Mardi Gras again. Kylie has even requested that readers vote for the song they want to hear her perform, the song they want Dannii to perform and the song they should sing together. "It's Raining Men" is currently winning the poll! Vote for your preferred song here. Personally, I think Kylie should serenade Dannii with an impassioned rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings" - there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house!

3. An English publication has reviewed "Unleashed" and given it 3/10! The stone deaf bitch who wrote the article crosses the line when she says: "Unfortunately, Dannii will never be in the same league as her sister. This album can safely be stacked away on an out-of reach shelf collecting dust, or worse still would probably serve best as door stop. Dannii's vocals are unbarable. This little lady should stick to modelling as she demonstrates that she simply cannot sing in almost every track on this album." That nasty troll wouldn't know good music if it bit her on the cunt! I also think she should learn how to spell before polluting cyberspace with her ill informed opinions. You can read the entire shocking review here.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and I wish you all a fabulous 2008!

Dannii - Sci Fi Queen?

2007-12-27T06:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder if English newspapers intentionally take the piss. The Sun has dished up an amusing article suggesting that Dannii is going to follow in Kylie's footsteps by appearing on a popular science fiction television show ("Torchwood"). Doesn't this "journalist" know that Kylie follows in Dannii's footsteps, not the other way around!?! Dannii was famous first, Dannii worked with Cathy Dennis first and Dannii discovered Botox first! However, my favourite part is when the journalist claims that her "Aussie spies" tell her that Dannii is working on a cover of "Xanadu". Can someone please tell this woman that the song was released over a month ago?! Read this Pulitzer prize worthy piece of journalism here.

KYLIE got it on with Dr Who last night, now sis Dannii Minogue is tipped to play a part in the sci-fi spin-off series Torchwood.

Singer and X Factor judge Dannii, 36, is keen to give it a go and the show’s star John Barrowman (Captain Jack) said: “I’d love it if Dannii appeared in Torchwood. She has an edge and I know she’s a fan of the show.”

Millions were last night glued to their screens to watch pop princess Kylie star in the Dr Who Christmas special. Kylie, 39, played plucky waitress Astrid, and shared a snog with the Doctor (David Tennant) as they battled disaster on the Titanic.

But Kylie came to an unfortunate end after saving the Doctor’s life – just after he had asked her to become his new assistant. Dannii, who mentored winner Leon in the ITV1 hit, will return to The X Factor next year. A show source said: “Dannii’s riding high after Leon won.” Danni’s in Melbourne with Kylie after they hired a private jet to fly home for Christmas.

Our Aussie spies also tell me Dannii has recorded a cover of Olivia Newton-John’s hit Xanadu.

The Gift Of Christmas

2007-12-24T04:02:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for being so quiet this week but I've been taking inspiration from Dannii, working on my (non-existent) tan during the day and behaving like a trashy whore at night - I love summer! I hope Dannii comes home to take advantage of the sun, promote the Australian release of "Touch Me Like That" and judge another season of Australia's Got Talent but I fear she may be too exhausted from all her $ucce$$ this year. Keep your fingers crossed! In the meantime, enjoy this amazing clip from 1995 when Dannii participated in the Childliners' Christmas charity single - "The Gift Of Christmas". Childliners was like a poor man's Band Aid with trashy celebrities like East 17, Deuce and Dannii! The song is pretty crass but it is apparently the 39th highest selling Christmas single in UK chart history - and people have the nerve to say that Dannii's never had a hit! This clip is taken from an appearance on Top Of The Tops and our girl's starring moment occurs about half way through. She only sings one line but I'm sure you'll agree that Dannii completely steals the show!

On a personal note, I'd like to wish everyone a very merry christmas and thank the kind people who contributed to the blog by leaving comments, sending e-mails and sharing their lovely Dannii goodies. I really appreciate it! Ok, that's enough from me - go and grab yourself a drink. Cheers!

Dannii & The Spanish Gays!

2007-12-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

No one could have predicted the stunning success of "He's The Greatest Dancer" in Spain. Dannii's inspired Sister Sledge cover was a massive top ten hit and sold at least 15 copies without so much as a video clip. I originally suspected that Kylie fans were picking up the single by mistake but the mystery behind Dannii's amazing popularity with Spanish gays can finally be revealed. Dannii ruled the stage at the Gay Freedom festival in Torremolines (somewhere in Spain) and won herself tens of new Spanish fans! The performance is pure genius. Dannii sings a fabulous version of the Prince classic "Kiss" and heats up the room with her scintillating dance moves, proving once and for all that she is the greatest dancer! The gays in the crowd appear completely overwhelmed by Dannii's magnetic charisma and boundless sex appeal. They are only human!

STOP PRESS - Dannii's Brave Battle!

2007-12-17T14:40:00.000-08:00

Millions of fans around the globe are in a state of shock today after Dannii shockingly revealed that she can no longer exercise due to the gargantuan size of her knockers. Brave Dannii opened her heart to S Magazine, admitting that she is unable to jog without fear of getting a black eye from one of her pendulous breasts. As a result, the Queen Of Clubs has taken up swimming and walking. I'm sure by sharing her pain, Dannii has given a voice to the suffering of busty women worldwide. What a woman! The Sun reports:

X FACTOR judge Dannii Minogue said she can’t work out properly – as her boobs are too BIG.

The busty pop star said jogging was a nono, because her surgically enhanced breasts would give her "a black eye". But the singer, 36, said: "I like to walk, I like to swim."

Dannii also told S Magazine her reputation as the more risque Minogue sister was wrong. The Aussie said: "Kylie’s just as naughty as me, it's just that I'm stupid so I get caught."

Read more about Dannii's brave battle here.

Dannii - Queen Of X Factor!

2007-12-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

Dannii's first year as an X factor judge was a baptism of fire. Critics made snide remarks about her appointment and fellow judges questioned both Dannii's talent (fuck you, Louis!) and her credentials (likewise, Sharon!) but the Queen Of Clubs has well and truly had the last laugh. The X Factor winner was announced last night and the UK viewing public awarded the 1 million pound first prize to Leon Jackson - an 18 year old Scotsman mentored by Dannii. In a stunning reflection on Dannii's uncanny ability to recognise and nurture talent, her other charge, Rhydian, came in second place!

Leon crowned X factor winner

I'm not a huge fan of Leon's music but I'm glad he won over the scary albino. You can watch a short recap of the proceedings below. I love how Dannii is mentioned almost as much as the winner!

Dannii was not the only Minogue to feature prominently in the finale. Kylie performed a duet with Leon before belting out her latest single to close the show. The duet was cute but Kylie's rendition of "Wow" was a real showstopper. I can't remember seeing her look as happy and uninhibited for a very long time. The cutest part of the whole performance is watching Dannii sing along and get up and dance behind the judging panel. It's so sweet of Dannii to take pity on her older sister and give her so much free publicity! Watch the clip below and make sure to keep an eye out for Dannii's scene stealing antics.

It will be interesting to see if Dannii returns for next year's X Factor. I'm ecstatic that she's finally found so much $ucce$$ but I hope she doesn't completely forget her music career. I'm gagging for Dannii's next amazing #48 smash hit!

Dannii's Latest Chart $ucce$$!

2007-12-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

"Touch Me Like That" is currently #1 on some random online dance music store in the US! Who needs a UK top 40 hit when you can top Perfectbeat.com's sales chart? This is almost as amazing as Dannii's recent UK #1 club hit (below). So much $ucce$$!

Dirty Old Sharon Disses Dannii - Again!

2007-12-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to pity Sharon Osbourne. It must be hard for an unattractive woman of her advanced years to sit next to a stunning specimen like Dannii on national television and not feel insecure. The old girl's insane jealousy is understandable but her constant digs at Dannii are becoming very boring indeed. Sharon's latest hateful tirade took place during an interview with Graham Norton in which she claims that Dannii is only on TV for her good looks not her contribution to the music industry. PR Inside reports:

Sharon tells chat show host Graham Norton, Dannii "knows she's there because of her looks, not because of her contribution to the music industry." Osbourne also hints during the interview at a budding romance between the 36-year-old former soap star and Simon Cowell. She says, "She's younger. She's better-looking. Simon wants her and he doesn't want me... thank God!"

Dannii has scored 14 top 20 hits in the UK, worked in radio for several years and starred in the hit West End production of "Notre Dame de Paris". Can someone tell me what Sharon's contribution to the music industry is?

Dannii - Already Planning Next Single?

2007-12-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how credible the rumours are but it appears Holidannii is already planning her next single! While I'm ecstatic that Dannii has wiped the egg from her face and headed back into the studio after the disastrous chart performance of "Touch Me Like That", the news that Dannii is waiting for approval to use a sample sounds a little bit too familiar. I would prefer Dannii to try something new but I'm sure another slice of dance Dannii will be delicious in its own right. In other exciting news, it looks like "Club Disco" might finally be released on CD. Another fan release by generous and caring Dannii!

Touch Me Like That - The Aftermath

2007-12-09T14:40:00.000-08:00

A terrifying glimpse into Dannii's future!

No one lives the lifestyle of $ucce$$ quite like Dannii! Despite being the universally worshipped Queen Of Clubs and household name in the UK due to her role on X Factor, Dannii's latest single bombs out at #48 this week, becoming the lowest charting single of her entire career. Even a craptastic stinker like "Loves On Every Corner" managed a #44 peak way back in 1992! That leaves the burning question of what went wrong and, more importantly, where to from here for our beloved icon?

So why did "Touch Me Like That" go down like a lead balloon with British buying public? Several reasons come to mind but the most obvious starting point is the song's quality. Obviously, if Dannii's dance anthem was complete rubbish, it would hardly be surprising if no one bought it. I loved "Touch Me Like That" from the first listen and I still think it's a killer track. In fact, the initial response to "Touch Me Like That" was overwhelmingly positive, receiving praise from both fans and critics alike. In my opinion, the main reasons for Dannii's lack of $ucce$$ are:

1. Releasing "Touch Me Like That" to radio and clubs three months prior to its physical release, resulting in rampant file-sharing by impatient "fans" (who then couldn't be bothered to legally download the song) and dwindling momentum.

2. Poor promotion. I'm sure AATW thought they could rely on Dannii's X Factor profile but the average music fan had no idea that Dannii even had a new single on the market. "Touch Me Like That" was hardly mentioned on X Factor, let alone performed on the show and Dannii did no other promotion apart from an interview on "Loose Women". Where was the obligatory show at GAY, the usual TV performances and interviews? I'm aware that Dannii couldn't promote the song on rival networks but there are always radio interviews and personal appearances.

TMLT's chart placing gives new meaning to Dannii's 1991 hit

3. Bad timing. The person who chose to release "Touch Me Like That" in the same week as Kylie's "X" album needs to be fired. Kylie fans have long turned to Dannii for a Minogue fix while Kylie is between albums, so the simultaneous release was most unfortunate. Even without evil Kylie plotting to steal Dannii's thunder, I would question releasing a club single in the lead up to Christmas when sales are traditionally at their strongest.

4. Marketing woes. Releasing one CD single instead of the usual two was a big mistake and I maintain that casual buyers were scared shitless by the hideous single cover. A couple of B-sides would have also been nice instead of the awful remixes.

Conclusion

Let's be honest. "Touch Me Like That" was a desperate attempt to cash in on Dannii's X Factor fame. And that's fine with me. Dannii would have been insane not to try to capitalise on her new high profile. Sadly, the entire project was a poorly managed and cynical rush job. The great shame is that one of Dannii's finest singles is relegated to the bargain bin of pop history.

Enough doom and gloom. What does the future now hold for Dannii - the pop star? "Touch Me Like That" is scheduled for release in Australia in January and I'm sure it can perform well if Dannii comes over to promote it. As far as the UK is concerned, I think Dannii should re-evaluate her relationship with AATW. Dannii will always be the Queen Of Clubs but I firmly believe she needs to embrace a more commercial pop sound to return to her glory days of chart $ucce$$. It will take more than one spectacular flop to hold this amazing diva down!

Not ready for the scrap heap yet!

Dannii Finally Does Some Promo!

2007-12-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

Dannii has finally done some promo five days after her single was officially released. I guess it's better late than never! Dannii's appearance on "Loose Women" is fantastic. Not only does Dannii slip her #1 club hits into the conversation, she also denies holding hands with Simon Cowell, describes X Factor as World War 3 and even kindly promotes Kylie's new album. What a woman! I really hope "Touch Me Like That" can scrape into the top 40.

Dannii's Stunning Chart Climb!

2007-12-06T19:49:00.000-08:00

"Touch Me Like That" rocketed up one whole place to #42 in yesterday's mid-weeks! If this amazing trend continues Dannii might just scrape into the top 40 after all. Now that's the lifestyle of $ucce$$!

Dannii's Flop Is Front Page News!

2007-12-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

Oh dear! Dannii's lack of chart $ucce$$ with "Touch Me Like That" has become front page news in the UK. In a hateful spray, the Mirror labels Dannii's stunning anthem "an embarrassing flop" and describe her first day sales of 1,500 as "pitiful"! Well, fuck them. Hopefully Dannii will put on a brave face for Saturday's X Factor and ignore any snide remarks from the cunts sitting on either side of her. Dannii is an international icon with a successful 30 year career in show business. She has nothing left to prove! Read the full article here. Oh and I love how Dannii makes headlines even when she flops!

On the X Factor panel she's quick to tell pop hopefuls if their singing is hopeless. But judge Dannii Minogue - who berates wannabes for warbling out of tune - may not be so hasty to criticise now, if her new single's performance is anything to go by. We can reveal that her latest musical offering, Touch Me Like That, is an embarrassing flop which is unlikely to even break into the Top 40. Poor sales mean that the single is set to scrape in at a pitiful No.43, according to midweek charts. Oh dear...

Worse still for Kylie's kid sister, it has failed to make it on to the all important Radio 1 playlist. Sadly for Dannii, it seems few would touch Touch Me Like That with a bargepole. You'd think that with her high profile on X Factor the single would be flying off the shelves. Certainly Dannii's publicity people had high hopes that her appearances on the show would propel the single into the Top 10.

The desperate flunkeys even plug the programme in their breathy press release, which also describes the song with Jason Nevins as an "electro epic". Some epic. It has shifted barely more than 1,500 copies since it went on sale in the shops this week. It has even been available digitally seven days earlier, but still no one was buying.

Tragically for Dannii, the track is being trounced by reissues from such veterans as Shakin Stevens, Wizzard, Wham! and Phil Collins. No doubt Dannii's pop humiliation will bring a smile to the faces of fellow judges Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh. On the hit ITV1 show last Saturday Louis blasted Dannii - who is mentor to Rhydian Roberts and Leon Jackson - for saying that his finalist, Niki Evans, had sung out of tune. Dannii, 36, told Niki: "I watched the tape from last week and you were completely out of tune." Louis, who was spitting-mad, hit back live on air, saying: "Dannii, singing out of tune? Ho ho!" Ouch...

Sharon's not Dannii's biggest fan either. The pair had a to-do when the live finals began and there has been no love lost between them since. Neither she nor Louis will be in any mood to spare Dannii's feelings. Although Simon Cowell, who is her mentor, will be fighting her corner. A show source says: "Knowing Sharon and Louis they'll make it their mission to keep reminding her because it winds her up so much. "But Simon is very protective of Dannii and will no doubt be reassuring her that she's wonderful."

Cheer up Dannii Fans!

2007-12-04T16:54:00.000-08:00

"Touch Me Like That" might be an unmitigated chart disaster but take comfort in the fact that Dannii is still a sizzling beauty - unlike her ancient sister. I always suspected Kylie would end up an old maid but this shit is ridiculous! Kylie's star turn as a 60 year old prostitute on Dr Who screens at 6:50pm on Christmas Day in the UK. I bet it rates less than X Factor!

TMLT - Officially A "Fan Release"

2007-12-04T04:15:00.000-08:00

In further proof that the British have no taste, "Touch Me Like That" has debuted at #43 on the UK mid-weeks. How very depressing!

Louis Walsh = Bitter Old Cunt

2007-12-03T14:25:00.001-08:00

Louis Walsh really is a small and petty man. Clearly threatened by Dannii's breathtaking sex appeal and judging expertise, the ancient one launched another shocking personal attack on his fellow X Factor judge by mocking Dannii's vocal ability. It's becoming increasingly obvious that Louis will take a cheap shot every time Dannii legitimately criticises one of his contestants. The first few bitchy remarks were amusing but they are getting as tired as Louis' sagging arsehole. Hopefully, Dannii will slap the nasty bitch with one of her plastic tits the next time he steps out of line! Read the full article here.

DANNII MINOGUE stormed out of hit British reality TV show The X Factor on Saturday after Irish music mogul LOUIS WALSH mocked her singing ability. The star left the set of the talent show and failed to return after a commercial break, forcing fellow judge Sharon Osbourne to fill her absence by sitting on Simon Cowell's lap. The row was sparked after Minogue criticised a contestant on the show for singing out of tune - to which Walsh responded, "Dannii, singing out of tune? Ho ho!" causing the 36 year old to walk off set. A source tells British newspaper The Sun, "Louis keeps joking about Dannii's singing talents and it's really getting to her."

Meanwhile, Kylie has hit back at the X Factor panel by boasting that Dannii is the only judge with any talent! Kylie points out that Dannii has been in the music industry since she was 7 years old and emphasises that her sister is the only judge with any experience as a performer. Well said! Check out the full article here. The X Factor drama is really brewing. Expect sparks to fly if Kylie performs on the show (as rumoured)!

Kylie Minogue has claimed that her sister is the only X Factor judge with talent. The singer is convinced that Dannii will triumph over Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Sharon Osbourne to guide her category to victory in the show.

She said: "[Dannii's] so overqualified for the job, really, because she's been performing since she was about seven and she's the only one on that panel... they all have their talents, but she's the only one there who knows what it's like to get up and perform, especially under pressure or [when] you're not feeling well or you're nervous."

World AIDS Day Ambassador

2007-12-02T18:42:00.001-08:00

Regardless of the eventual chart position of "Touch Me Like That", Dannii will always be #1 with her army of gay fans. Many desperate divas rely on the pink dollar to fund their failing careers but very few of them ever give anything back to the gay community. The glaring exception is Dannii Minogue. As a long time supporter of Mardi Gras in Australia, Minogue Jr performed at the event in 1998 and recorded the 1999 theme song, "Everlasting Night". Since finding mega-stardom in the UK, Dannii has been an avid supporter of gay rights and has promoted World AIDS Day for many years. As a Terrence Higgins Trust ambassador, Dannii is not only the Queen Of Clubs but also the face of safe sex in the UK (above). Such is the importance of Dannii's role that she was invited to speak with Prime Minister Gordon Brown about her concerns (pictured below). I love to joke about Dannii's ability to do nothing in great style but I'd like to applaud her generous and genuine contribution to this most worthy campaign.

Dannii's World AIDS Day message:

"At the moment we have a problem with young people finding it easier to actually have sex, than talk about wearing a condom. Last year alone nearly 8000 new cases of HIV were diagnosed in the UK and there is still no cure. As Ambassador For Young People I'd like to see easier and quicker methods introduced for HIV and STD testing and for better sex education to be made part of the school curriculum. Stay safe and sexy by using a condom every time you have sex."

Touch Me Like That - Buy It Or Die!

2007-12-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

Dannii's brilliant "Touch Me Like That" is finally released in the UK tomorrow and I fully expect everyone to rush out and buy a copy! Download sales have been underwhelming thus far but I'm convinced that everyone is saving their money for the stunning 12" picture disc (above). I refuse to believe that Dannii's lovely fans would rave about the song for the past three months without having the decency to shell out 79p on a legal download. If you have already done the right thing, may I suggest buying a copy of the CD single for a dear friend or family member? Nothing says "I love you" quite like Stonebridge Mix of "Touch Me Like That"! On a brighter note, Dannii's amazing anthem debuts at #48 on the Australian club chart this week, more than a month ahead of its scheduled release on the 20th January. There are no plans to release the picture disc in Australia but you can order it Chaos or import it from HMV UK.

Kylie Confirms Simon & Dannii's "Fizzle"!

2007-11-29T15:21:00.000-08:00

Desperate Kylie has been using Dannii's global fame for her own sad promotion - yet again! Not content to steal Dannii's thunder by releasing her (admittedly fabulous) album a week before "Touch Me Like That", Kylie is now commenting on poor Dannii's love life for publicity! According to the older Minogue, there is definitely a spark between Dannii and Simon Cowell. Check out Kylie's shameless revelation to Heat magazine below and read the full story here.

Kylie Minogue is CONVINCED Simon Cowell has a secret crush on her little sister, fellow X Factor judge Dannii Minogue. Last week, Simon and Dannii were photographed holding hands and Kylie says the chemistry between the two of them is genuine. “Why wouldn’t Simon fancy Dannii?” Kylie says, adding, “If I’m not mistaken there is definitely a little fizzle there.”

Dannii Dishes The Dirt On Tina Arena!

2007-11-28T14:37:00.000-08:00

If you read my other blog you'll be aware of how much I love Tina Arena. Dannii's former Young Talent Time co-star has gone on to have her own very successful music career (Tina is almost as successful in France as Dannii is in Spain!) and the lovely ladies have remained friends. After several years in Europe, Tina has returned to Australia to tour and promote her new album, "Songs Of Love & Loss" (released December 3rd). I've been excited to have Tina back in the country and I'm even more desperate to finally meet the woman after hearing Dannii talk about Tina's filthy mouth on the radio! One of Tina's biggest fans kindly sent me an excerpt from an interview with Dannii and I thought some of you might enjoy hearing Dannii spill the beans on Tina. Dannii makes such a great interviewee - she's so sweet and lovely! A big thank you to Derrick for sharing!

Download - Dannii Dishing The Dirt On Tina Arena

Listening to Dannii talk about Tina put me in a nostalgic mood and I decided to look for some Young Talent Time clips on youtube. During my search I stumbled across an advertisement that Dannii and Tina made for Kambrook heaters - way back in 1984! In my view, this is the best commercial in the history of TV! I can't emphasise enough how gloriously camp and joyous this clip is. You get to see Dannii playing guitar and dancing around dressed as a piece of toast! In case you have trouble recognising them - Dannii is the first girl to have a solo, followed directly by Tina. Kambrook should invite them back for their next campaign!

Spanish Gays In Dannii Buying Frenzy!

2007-11-27T14:50:00.000-08:00

Spain is currently in the grip of Dannii mania with homosexuals across the nation rushing out to buy multiple copies of "He's The Greatest Dancer"! Dannii's #1 Spanish fan, Peibols (pictured right), reports that he went on a Dannii spree over the weekend with his friends Bubu and Parker (pictured left). Apparently the saleswoman had no idea who Dannii was (surely that bitch had just arrived in town from some rural backwater!) but the boys were able to double Dannii's Spanish sales by purchasing two copies! Thanks for the picture, you're all very sexy!

On a sad note, "Unleashed" only reached #165 on the Australian album charts! It's a shame but what does the record company expect when they release the album with the same cover and tracklisting as the UK but with no promotion? Poor Dannii. "Touch Me Like That" will be released in Australia on the 20th of January. If more effort isn't put into that release, expect another massive flop.

Dannii Outshines Kylie - Again

2007-11-26T16:26:00.000-08:00

One of the highlights of Dannii's amazing "Complete Collection" DVD is her stunning live duet of "Kids" filmed during Kylie's "Showgirl Homecoming" tour. This clip is the pop equivalent of porn - Australia's two greatest divas camping it up on the same stage is almost too good to be true. Unfortunately for poor Kylie, Dannii steals the show with her brilliant vocals and magnetic charisma. The entire crowd is completely mesmerised by beautiful Dannii. In fact, I'm sure they only bought tickets on the off chance of seeing Dannii strut her stuff! My favourite bit is the lusty look on Dannii's face when Kylie sings "I couldn't do what I wanted to do when my lips were dry" and the big finale when they both rock out. I'm surprised Dannii didn't fling Kylie into the crowd to finally enjoy her moment in the sun - maybe next time!

Dannii's X Factor Breakdown

2007-11-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

Emotional Dannii was so overcome by Rhydian's (her charge) latest X Factor performance that she was moved to tears. Personally, I think Rhydian is a bit frightening but he must have something going for him if Dannii is that impressed. I love Dannii's over the top reaction. She wears her heart on her sleeve and comes across as the only real person on the judging panel. Dannii also looks stunning and slightly dragtastic in that dress. My favourite bit - "I felt you were singing it personally - you know - to me!"

X Factor Romance & A Spanish Top 10 Hit!

2007-11-23T03:30:00.000-08:00

Here is the photographic evidence of Dannii's romantic liaison with Simon Cowell. Poor Dannii looks so embarrassed and Simon looks 300 years old. I think the picture below is much more flattering. Dannii has Simon eating out of the palm of her hand - literally! Meanwhile, Dannii's last single climbs to a new peak in Spain this week. "He's The Greatest Dancer" is now a #9 Spanish smash! $ucce$$!!!

Dannii's Stunning Australian Promotion

2007-11-21T01:42:00.000-08:00

Dear friends, you are looking at the sum total of Dannii's promotion for the Australian release of "Unleashed". There have been no press, TV or radio advertisements, no interviews, no nothing - except this fabulous article in "New Weekly". With this kind of stunning promo, expect "Unleashed" to miss the top 100 entirely. I know a collection of scrapped tracks is not exactly a priority release but when will Dannii's Australian record company realise that they have to give something extra to interest Dannii's hardcore fans - most of whom already ordered the UK version? How about a different cover, a bonus remix CD or even a shitty sticker saying "Australian Version". This crap is piss poor! If you are yet to purchase a copy of "Unleashed", please do so from Chaos or download it from iTunes (includes the fabulous bonus track "Viva L'Amour").

Dannii & Simon Sitting In A Tree...

2007-11-19T18:10:00.000-08:00

The rumours about Dannii's steamy romance with Simon Cowell could be true! The Herald Sun reports that Dannii and Simon were spotted walking hand in hand, no doubt discussing Dannii's recent chart $ucce$$! Read the whole article here.

SIMON Cowell's long-term girlfriend may be asking her mogul boyfriend some serious questions, after he was spotted this weekend hand in hand with Dannii Minogue.

The pair were spotted together leaving the BBC after Friday night's charity gala Children In Need. Cowell and Minogue have been appearing together on British talent show The X Factor, and Minogue was quoted as reporting that her pop supremo co-star was "very fanciable!"

Minogue is famously single after a string of romances including marriage to Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon and a long romance with Formula 1 star Jacques Villeneuve. Cowell has been involved for several years with model Terri Seymour. He previously dated the singer Sinitta.

H8TRZ!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-18T05:37:00.000-08:00

Queen Of Clubs - Dannii's 13th #1 Club Hit!

2007-11-15T19:46:00.000-08:00

All hail the queen of clubs! Dannii continues to make chart history as "Touch Me Like That" becomes her 13th #1 hit on the UK club charts! Suck on that, Kylie!

Here is the full list of Holidannii's #1 club hits:

1997 All I Wanna Do
1997 Everything I Wanted
1998 Disremembrance
2001 Who Do You Love Now?
2002 Put The Needle On It
2003 I Begin To Wonder
2003 Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling
2004 You Won't Forget About Me
2005 Perfection
2006 So Under Pressure
2007 I Can't Sleep At Night
2007 He's The Greatest Dancer
2007 Touch Me Like That

Dannii, we salute you!

A big thanks to Magical Froggy for the amazing picture.

Girl - The Deluxe Edition

2007-11-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

I've been so preoccupied with "Club Disco" and "Unleashed" over the past week that I haven't had the opportunity to fully process Dannii's fabulous re-releases. I've decided to focus on the deluxe edition of "Girl" today because it holds a special place in my heart and I honestly believe it is one of the most underrated pop albums of all time. With any luck, Dannii's misunderstood masterpiece will now find a whole new audience via the re-release. I just hope the grotesque dead Dannii cover doesn't turn off too many potential consumers!

"Girl" was a major turning point for Dannii. After the disastrous chart performance and critical mauling of "Get Into You", Dannii's career was at an all time low. She was lampooned in the press for riding on Kylie's coattails, retreated to the abyss of breakfast television and only made headlines by posing for Playboy. Dannii was on a one way track to being the La Toya of the Minogue family until she re-appeared in 1997 with "All I Wanna Do". The song's amazing quality raised as many eyebrows as Dannii's stunning new image. Now a svelte blond with massive tits, Dannii firmly asserted herself as the sexiest Minogue sister and her poptastic music provided a welcome relief to Kylie's late 90s indie experimentation. Despite the success of "All I Wanna Do", "Girl" experienced disappointing sales mostly due to the bizarre choice of "Everything I Wanted" as the album's second single. While Dannii flopped on the mainstream charts, she scored three consecutive #1 club hits in the UK and was warmly received by the gay community in Britain and Australia.

That leads me to my special attachment to "Girl". It was the soundtrack to my coming out. The singles from "Girl" were huge in the gay clubs and my devotion to Dannii was such that I skipped school exams to attend record signings with my new scene friends. LOL. Dannii returned to Australia briefly after "Girl" and became a fixture on the gay scene. It was slightly surreal to see Dannii dancing next to you in clubs and I warmly remember witnessing the spectacle of Dannii being chased across the dancefloor by a feral drag queen at the RHI! "Girl" was the birth of Dannii as a trashy gay icon and the beginning of her reign as the undisputed queen on clubs.

Few pop albums can boast the delicate production and playful experimentation of "Girl". From Xenomania's monster hit "All I Wanna Do" to the hilariously absurd "Everybody Changes Underwater", "Girl" is breathtakingly fun and original. I was very excited to hear the new tracks on the deluxe edition and I'm happy to report that they are suitably fabulous. Here's my review of the previously unreleased tracks:

Movin' Up (Original Extended Mix) - 9/10

"Movin' Up" is equally loved and hated by Dannii fans. Some people think Dannii's cheesy cover version sounds out of place on "Girl", while others like myself revel in Dannii's gloriously upbeat slice of 90s house music. This mix is adorable.

Keep Up With The Good Times - 10/10

The only completely new track on the album is an absolute treat. Written and produced by Xenomania, "Keep Up With The Good Times" is a shocking reminder of how brilliant Brian Higgins used to be before he started churning out the same old rubbish for Girls Aloud and wrote Kylie's worst single in a decade ("Giving You Up"). The music is dated but time hasn't dulled the shiny brilliance of the chorus and uplifting lyrics. It goes without saying that this should have been on the album. A lost classic.

Someone New (Flexifingers Radio Edit) - 10/10

I've always loved the album's Japanese bonus track and I'm ecstatic to finally get an official edit. It doesn't quite capture the magnificence of the original but it's still one of Dannii's finest songs from "Girl". The existence of a radio edit is interesting of itself. The rumour that "Someone New" was once considered as a single might have some truth in it after all.

All I Wanna Do (Trouser Enthusiasts Radio Edit) - 9/10

I love the Trouser Enthusiasts (ie. Dannii's songwriting partners Ian Masterson and David Green). Their remix of Kylie's "Did It Again" is a favourite of mine and their remixes for the likes of Gina G, Donna Summer and Gloria Estefan have all been fagtastic. This amazing mix is no exception.

Disremembrance (Trouser Enthusiasts Radio Edit) - 9/10

For many years, "Disremembrance" was my favourite Dannii track. I blame the camp video clip - gothic Dannii forever! I prefer the pure pop of the album version but this mix has an evocative, darker tone that suits the song perfectly.

Heaven Can Wait (Trouser Enthusiasts Cloud Nine Mix) - 7.5/10

Another Xenomania contribution, "Heaven Can Wait" holds up as one of the loveliest songs on "Girl". This epic mix is at least five minutes too long for my dodgy concentration span but it's still a fun addition to anyone's Dannii collection.

Disremembrance (Full Orechestral 12" Mix) - 8/10

I love the dreamy beginning to this remix. The remainder of the mix is fairly straightforward but just as lovely.

Disremembrance (Twyce As Nyce 1:40am Club Mix) - 5/10

This is a bit of a mess and deconstructs the song to the point where it's barely recognisable. Headache material.

Movin' Up (Gettin' Harder Mix) - 7.5/10

I was gettin' harder by the second listening to this trashy effort. Somebody pass me a glow stick!

Keep Up With The Good Times (Xenomania 12" Mix) - 9/10

The more I hear "Keep Up With The Good Times", the more I love it. This mix is a spectacular hands in the air dancefloor anthem, only slightly marred by some dated voice effects. Vintage Dannii!

Touch Me Like That - The Cover!

2007-11-13T04:27:00.000-08:00

The official cover for "Touch Me Like That" has finally been unveiled and, quite frankly, I don't know what to think! I love the fact that she's stolen Celine Dion's wig and is wearing something La Toya Jackson threw out in 1985 - but what the fuck is going on with the scary drag make-up? And don't even get me started on the cheap font and lazy, white background. I really wish Dannii would consider using the lovely cover below instead.