Dannii's Washing Tips

I almost spat out my cornflakes when I saw Dannii in today's Sun Herald dishing our laundry tips. Bitch, please. As if Dannii even knows what a washing machine looks like!

Dannii looking like SEX at the Logie Awards

It was great to see the baps were out!

Dannii presented the award for Best Comedy. Anyway, Kath and Kim won. The highlight was seeing Dannii on bended knee presenting the award to Gina Reilly and Jane Turner.

I'm sure once more pics are up and about we'll share them all with you, as well as any footage that may popup on youtube.

Dannii with her Australia's Got Talent judges, Red Symons and Tom Burlinson.

Dannii - On The Prowl!

Sydney Confidential is reporting that man hungry Dannii pounced on Sunrise reporter James Tobin during an interview. Someone needs to courier over Dannii's box of toys from the UK before things get out of hand!

SUNRISE junior showbiz reporter James Tobin was apparently like a pre-pubescent teenager after veteran Dannii Minogue turned cougar during a TV chat over the weekend.

Tobin asked the Australia's Got Talent judge if she was seeing anyone, to which she replied she was dating and having fun. A flirtatious Minogue then asked Tobin if he was seeing anyone.

"The room was certainly hot," one studio spy told Confidential.

"She was flirting outrageously with him, and he could barely talk."

Tobin, who replaced Jono Coleman as the brekky-TV entertainment guy, managed to get his act together and complete the interview.

Dannii In Woman's Day

Dannii graced the pages of Woman's Day this week to promote Australia's Got Talent. The interview isn't exactly revealing but Dannii talks about being single, her feud with Sharon Osbourne and answers the obligatory questions about Kylie's cancer. I'm shocked that Dannii failed to slip in a plug for "Club Disco". She's slipping! I particularly love the new AGT promo pics. Dannii is looking seriously trannytastic in her killer red heels!

The Ultimate Insult

When I first heard the rumours that "Club Disco" was ineligible to chart in Australia, I thought it was a just another outbreak of irrational Dannii drama but I thought I would check with Central Station just in case. Much to my surprise, the rumours turned out to be true. "Club Disco" won't be appearing on any ARIA chart because her record company has decided not to list the album as chart eligible. I'm not criticising Central Station because I have a feeling this bright idea originated from someone in Dannii's camp but I really can't think of a bigger diss for an artist or their fanbase.

None of the official reasons given are very convincing. Central Station correctly points out that the album is mostly comprised of old tracks. However, if I'm not mistaken, the bonus remix disc was commissioned to address this very problem. They also argue that "Club Disco" has been available for months. That is most certainly true but this is the first time the album has got a physical release anywhere in the world and let's be honest, there have been huge delays with all of Dannii's Central Station output. It also doesn't explain Dannii's current publicity push. Why is she even bothered?

The final reason is actually kind of funny. They claim they don't want to hinder Dannii's chart history if the album flops. The people in charge of Dannii's career have such little faith in her ability to sell records that they would rather spare themselves the embarrassment. How charming! Dannii's album chart history in Australia is as follows:

Dannii - #24
Love & Kisses And... - #98
Get Into You - #53
Girl - #69
The Singles - Did Not Chart
The Remixes - Did Not Chart
Neon Nights - #25
The Hits & Beyond - #67
Unleashed - #165

I really can't imagine how you could possibly tarnish that chart run! We love Dannii, flops and all. Chart disasters simply come with the territory of Dannii fandom. I'm still wholeheartedly excited about getting my hands on a physical copy of "Club Disco" and I hope it's a huge success. I just never thought the day would arrive when Dannii's camp is happy to relegate her album to the rubbish tip of music history before it is even released.

Dannii's Great Wall Diary - Day 4

We start the day with a 5 hour bus journey to Dun Huang City. Our bus stops in a lay way to set up our on-the-road toilet, nicknamed, "The Throne"! We step out of the bus, the sun is blazing down heat, and my feet are a metre away from a trail of human feaces! It is explained to us by our local guide that this is normal in China. The side of the road is an open toilet. Men use the left of the highway, and women use the right. Right!

We arrived in Dun Huang and I am happy to see some colour and green. Our eyes have been starved of colour, and it feels as though we have just stepped from an old Hollywood black and white Western film in to a 3-D Bollywood film. There is a fanfare for our arrival - pretty young dancers with full performance make up, all dressed in spangly bright costumes - pink, yellow and blue.

We are served a Chinese feast for lunch. The tables are covered in plates heaving with steaming food. I eat one unidentified dish…I must be getting brave. It is like blocks of clear jelly. I am told after it has pork rind in it. For a Vegetarian of 23 years I should be close to vomiting, but I couldn't taste or smell it, so I decide it was just a noodle.

We have a gentle stroll today, an excursion to the Mogao Grottoes. These are hand dug caves in the side of a mountain with sand dunes in the distant that look so perfect my mind tells me they must be a painted backdrop at the London Opera. We visit three of the larger caves - all with Buddha paintings and statues. I am sad to say there were no photos allowed, as it is one of the most breath taking sites I have ever seen. When we step inside, it is dark and freezing cold (Ancient Air Con!). We stand at the feet of one Buddha, 113 feet high. The surrounding walls and ceilings are decorated with thousands of intricate individual drawings of Buddha that pattern around like tiles. This has been a place of contemplation for centuries. Buddhist Monks used to live here and famous artists made these Deities to inspire and span 10 Dynasties, last through wars and even a few earthquakes. I feel small, humbled and while processing why I am here, the word 'acceptance' repeats in my head.

On returning to the hotel I am moved by what I have seen and tears of sorrow stream down my face, for the ones I have lost to Cancer. Three friends - one was my best friend. We were sitting around chatting one day when she noticed she had a pain like a Kidney infection. The following day she was taken to hospital. I sat by her side for three months watching the devastation of Cancer take over. We went through the horrific diagnosis that she was not going to survive. 36 years old, my friend was never to leave that hospital. In the most serene organised way, she planned her funeral and gave family and friends specific details to take care of. All I could do was rub her feet and look into her eyes and try to be brave. Six months after her passing I find myself with all her loved ones on a beach to scatter her ashes into the sea, as requested. There is nothing that can take your breath away more than holding ashes of your dear young lost friend in your hand, and un-curling finger by finger until they float away in the tide. I was numb all over.

This was just over a year ago - and I am now here, in Central China, crying and trying to 'accept' this personal devastation. Most of the walkers on this trip have no idea what I had been through, and suspect I am walking since my experience of my sister's breast cancer. I wish that was the only reason. With one friend surviving Leukaemia, 4 surviving cancer, three friends lost to cancer and two currently being treated for cancer, the numbers are staggering.

Please please please help me raise money to find a cure for this illness that is plaguing our lives. I don't want to live with it, and I don't want to fight it - just find a cure and move forward to a time when it will no longer be a part of our world.

With love that stretches farther than the Great Wall is long
Thanks for taking this journey with me
Love and Kisses
Dannii x

WEIGH IN: 46.5

Dannii's Great Wall Diary: Day 3

Weigh In: 46.5kg

Today we trek through the Gobi Desert. The sun is hot and a cold wind whips at us from one side. Sunscreen is a must, as the rays sneak on to our skin without us feeling them; the wind has a way of gently numbing any exposed areas.

Report of the Day: The Great Wall is not so great! Well at least not this stretch, which had fallen down in many sections, and in others looked like a sand dune. I manage to climb to the top and walk like I used to as a kid along the top of a wall. I could see for miles. I felt happy and on top of the world.

There is no other way to describe today, but a long trek through the desert. The sand is as fine as dust so most walkers wear surgical masks to stop inhaling and swallowing it. We looked like a trek group that is in fancy dress code

Theme: Nurses.

Half way through the 12kms, a train track runs over the wall. It looks strong and shiny new. We check the line is free of oncoming trains and a few of us proceed to do a photo shoot lying on the track. It is just so tempting to lie across the tracks - like a kind of Vertigo. So stupid, but you just can't help yourself!



I show Olivia my Aussie Flag and we take it for a run. The surroundings are so barren and without colour, that the flag is a feast to our eyes.

Even though Olivia is sick with the flu, she takes every step with us. This wonderful lady has the strongest will power and I see her fight on, even when she is struggling.

We see just three signs of native life the whole way. A small lizard that we play with as we are so amused that anything is able to survive out here; a small animal skull, and a dead snake! This place is tough!

I have a long chat with Scott, one of our Cancer survivors. He is always at the front of the pack, so we walk and talk. A firefighter who had two brushes with Cancer.

One so strong he was administered 'fatal doses' of Chemo. He recounts his story of telling the doctors to do whatever they had to, as he had a wife and kids to look after - and he wasn't ready to go just yet! I ask if he misses his family? This big strong man made of muscle and a steel determination bursts into tears.

All I can do is hug him. "This is my first trip outside of Australia", he says, "I miss my family. My wife has been my rock and my kids gave me a reason to survive". I find out later that day when I speak to his lovely wife on the phone that she had lost her father and brother to Cancer prior to Scott's Cancer. My heart sinks - and that is why we are here. To raise money for the Olivia Newton-John Cancer and Wellness Centre.

With calf muscles as tight as rocks, I hobble to bed, as another big day lies ahead

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz Good Night

Hugs and Chopsticks from China

Dannii x

PS. please sponsor our steps - whatever you can do will make a difference around the globe

For more information, you can visit www.greatwalktobeijing.com

Dannii's Diary: Day 2

First day of walking and I am faced with a vertiginous climb. Wow! Have I done my training for this – sure!!!! I wore in my trekking boots by putting them on while I typed some emails at home the night before I left Melbourne, and I did a few climbs 2 weeks ago in Los Angeles – yup...I’m nervous!

This is the mountainous part of the Great Wall, where it sits between the Black Mountains and the Qilian snow capped mountains. It is a few kilometers up to the highest Northern viewing point then a 9km descent to the Jiayuguan Pass and Fortress. As you can see we are amazed to be here and stop to capture it on loads of "happy snaps" – or breathing stops! The air is very thin and the altitude is making my heart best like a caged Tyrannosaurus.

AJ and I are comparing our "weigh ins" for the day – everyone is expecting to lose weight on this trip, but as a late comer to the event, I’m told that none of the others have so far; even with the long days of climbing, and unusual meals that are sometimes not at all appetizing. Adam has brought me up to speed with his story of being the Real Aussie GAY Cowboy, and I tell him, it doesn’t get any gayer than taking a stroll with Olivia and me singing Xanadu!

Walking through the fortress we stop for some arrow shooting – I split when I saw Johanna Griggs giving Kieren Perkins advice, as she was laughing out the side of her mouth, as I was standing right behind them. I am amazed at the amount of time Olivia manages to spend with all of sponsored walkers – she absolutely loves to see we are all okay and loves to catch up on giggles and heart felt moments. She is always there with the biggest hug.

As we are in the desert, any form of vanity has gone out the window – dust masks are needed for long treks across the desert plains – on returning to the hotel, I can report that we are covered in it, and I confess to finding dust in every orifice – and that is not a nice feeling! The water that we shower in has a brown colour, and so getting clean is done as quickly as possible.

Tip of the day: do not drink any tap water. It is wise to make sure none gets swallowed in the shower too!

Weigh in: 47.2 kilos

Pedometer says we have done 16.05 kms today!!!!! Having dodged Donkey, Lamb and something that looked like Chicken-ish, at our Mongolian Feast last night – I take my vegetarian taste buds to the buffet in the hotel and knock back some red wines with the gang.
My feet are now in my Ugg boots and I’m feeling fine! Dim Sum and hugs from Disco Dannii in China x

Dannii's Photo Album from the Herald Sun!

Dannii - "Good Health" Covergirl!

Dannii Minogue is a judge on Channel Seven's Australia's Got Talent. Here, she talks to Kate Minogue about the joy of coming home.Australia's Got Talent is just so much fun.

There's the great reward of giving these kids a chance to start. For me it's a dream job. We shoot it in Melbourne, so I'm able to catch up with friends and family. Doing an entertainment show — which is what I started with at Young Talent Time and working with some of the same crew — it feels like I've come full circle. The show really makes me laugh — and laughter is always good medicine.

I'm doing The X Factor in England, and as judges we're in mentoring roles. It's been a huge learning curve for me because I've never mentored anyone before.

Two major things have been life-changing for me. I got married and divorced when I was very young. Looking back, I guess I was naive that everything would be perfect and like a fairy tale, and it didn't work out that way. That kind of shocked me because I didn't expect it to happen to me. I think I was a bit of a scaredy cat for a long time after that. My friends tell me I had barriers up around me because I was scared of getting hurt again.

When my sister [Kylie] was dealing with breast cancer — and the whole world was involved — that was hard. My main goal was to get her better, and I understood why people were interested and grateful that they cared, but it was tricky because at the same time, as a family, we needed some level of privacy.

I was happy to give all of myself, whatever it took to make her time and space clear so she could deal with what she was going through. She needed family and friends to support her and give her energy to get through it, and everybody was there and happy to do it. But it was difficult because it seemed the world's media wanted to be involved.

Since then, life has not been the same. I can't walk out the door without someone recounting a story: “my mum had cancer”. I care for anyone having to deal with cancer, so I am participating in The Great Walk To Beijing with Olivia [Newton-John] to raise funds for a cancer ward, but I don't want cancer to be part of everyday life.

London is where I live, and Australia is home. Initially, I went to London for a three-week trip, and now I'm in my 18th year there. My mum is Welsh, so there is a family connection. I never intended to stay that long.

A lot of performers have a career plan but I don't. Work has kept me in the UK. My only clear idea is that I don't want to be in the UK forever. I always want to come back to Australia for part of the year. And now I have got this itch that I want to go to the US.

I am single right now, and I know I don't want to be a single parent. It looks way too hard. I have never had that maternal urge. I have got my nephew, my brother [Brendan] has a baby son and I'm godmother to two friends' children, and that keeps me going. You see women having children at an older age and it gives you hope that it might be possible if I wanted to at some point.

To keep fit I love to walk — it's my favourite thing. I'm walking everywhere at the moment to get ready for Olivia's walk. I love swimming too but you don't get to swim much in London. I'm also doing some yoga but I'm only at the beginners' stage.

I love cooking for friends. I cook risotto and now I can make lasagne too, and last night I stuffed zucchini flowers out of our garden.

When people meet me they are surprised that I'm so tomboyish. My sister is the eldest, then there's my brother and I'm the youngest. I was always trying to keep up with him. I still have daredevil instincts. I'm into car racing and I've swum with sharks at the Melbourne aquarium.

For the full story, see the May 2008 issue of Good Health & Medicine magazine.

Official Club Disco Cover Art

Central Station kindly sent me the official "Club Disco" cover art this afternoon and I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, it's still VERY similar to the UK edition but at least they have had the decency to jazz up that hideous font with a little bit of sparkle and I love the box touting Dannii's number 1 club hits! Hopefully they will also add a sticker that says "Featuring all the #1 hits mentioned by Daryl Somers on Dancing With the Stars!". I still think my "Club Dildo" covers packed a bigger punch but this is nice and I can't wait to see it in my local JB Hi-Fi!

Unfortunately, I'm less enthusiastic about the back cover (below) as posted on Dannii's forum. The choice of image and font is almost identical to a fan made cover I posted in Dannii's Dirty Box on the 7th of November 2007. Check out that post here. They've even used the same barcode! I'm certain Central Station are completely unaware of this but it's still really poor. I've brought the matter to the company's attention and I await their response.

DanniiWalk - Day One!

The busty beauty herself is keeping us abreast of happenings with blogs on myspace and with the Herald Sun!

Here is what the pop stunner had to say on her myspace.

Dannii with Livvii

"DANNII MINOGUE : THE GREAT WALK TO BEIJING - DAY ONE
Well...This Is It. (!) I am embarking on a life-changing journey that involves Cancer - but this is the first one I have chosen! I have had family and many friends who have survived this disease, and two dear friends that I have lost. Cancer seems to be more and more a part of everyone's life. Why? - I want to scream as loud as I can.

Everyone taking part in The Great Walk to Beijing is on a personal mission - survivors, medics and others like me who have seen in close quarters, this devastating illness.

Dannii with Adam Sutton & Olivia Newton-John

Two flights from Melbourne I end up at the beautiful Ritz Carlton in Beijing. After checking in and meeting a few of the team, we hear a famous Jamaican called AJ singing in the lobby... but opera! It wasn't exactly what I was expecting to hear on my first visit to China... but it was "a yes from me" - this guy moves us with his vocal ability. I ask him if he will join us on the walk, come meet Olivia and sing for her too. Apparently the wheels are in motion for AJ to meet us on the wall - so before I have even made my first sponsored steps, I have recruited a random.

A welcome nights sleep in a bed that is like a cloud, then we are up early to depart Beijing - a city of 16 million people with smog thick enough it cuts the view of the sun.

Our first flight lands in Xian. We touch down briefly enough to reboard a flight to Jiayuguan. We are now in Western China in a desert city that seems positively deserted. After two days of non-stop travel, I am over air transport and can't wait to get my walking boots on and 'Get physical'!

Love and Dim Sum from Disco Dannii in China x

TIP OF THE DAY: carry toilet paper - you will never find that in the public toilets.

FACT OF THE DAY: 8 is a lucky number and 'Eggplant' is what they say in Chinese when they take happy snaps - like we say "cheese".

WEIGH IN: 48.5kilos."

Beyond fabulous! Make sure you sponsor Dannii and check with us at DDB for the latest updates on Dannii's travels.

Dannii's Adventure!

If you didn't know, our Dannii is in China walking despite her fabulous baps handicapping her immensely. I think I speak for everyone at Dannii's Dirty Box when I say that I fully respect and admire Dannii doing this walk! My grandmother died of cancer, so Dannii's adventure means a lot to me and is another example of Dannii's stunning $ucce$$ as a human being! Is there anything this woman won't do?

No, there really is not. All hail Dannii, Queen of all our souls!

More footage of Dannii and the Great Wall of China

This is my first post on DDB, so I'm awfully excited! YAY me! I was shocked to hear Dannii declare that she had flown into China from Melbourne. Why the fuck was I not informed she was in Melbourne? I just assumed she was still running around the streets of America flashing people!

DANNII WANTS YOUR SPONSORSHIP!

I demand everyone does as Dannii says! Sponsor her so she has more sponsorship deals than Cliff Richard. Don't let Old Cliff beat our Dannii! We need to show just how many fans she has if we all sponsor her! Even if it's like $10 it's all for a good cause!

Sponsor Dannii's baps, I mean steps!

The Grand Re-Opening Of Dannii's Box!

The time has come to gently brush the cobwebs off Dannii's Dirty Box and resume our worship of pop music's most fabulous diva! I've only been away for a little over a month but there has been no shortage of stunning developments. Dannii began April by making a spectacle of herself in America (read more here) before bravely signing on for Olivia Newton-John's charity walk along the Great Wall Of China. After returning from her Chinese odyssey Dannii will resume hosting duties for "Australia's Got Talent" and promote the local release of her fabulous "Club Disco" album (affectionately known as "Club Dildo"). The highlight of Dannii's unprecedented barrage of promotion promises to be her performance of "Xanadu" on the finale of "It Takes Two" scheduled for the 22nd of April. Expect a wave of discomania to engulf the nation! In the meantime, please check out DDB's first video extravaganza featuring exclusive, never before seen footage of Dannii in China! Many thanks to Magical Froggy for assembling this gem for me!

Before I get around to updating you all on Dannii's latest antics, I'd like to announce a major change to the blog. Namely, I've invited four new members to join Dannii's Dirty Box! I was finding it difficult to maintain two blogs (in addition to working full time and trawling the streets of Sydney for cheap thrills), so I called on some friends to share the workload. If you've been part of Dannii's online community for any length of time, chances are you'll already know my new co-authors. I'm not about to let any old riff raff inside the hallowed walls of Dannii's Box, so please rest assured that these connoisseurs know their stuff. I've included a short bio and an interview with each member. Please make them welcome!

Tommie

Dannii's biggest, and possibly only, Swedish fan. Loves vodka, sailors and the queen of Swedish pop (the legendary Bionda). Dreams of one day oiling Dannii's buns in Ibiza. The only new member not currently banned from the Dannii Board but give him time.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
Circa 2002 when "Put The Needle On It" leaked. I was dead-sure it was to be her first ever number one! No, seriously. But at least she charted higher than Kylie's massive flop single "Come Into My World".

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
Tough one! I'd have to say "I Begin To Wonder" to be honest. Everything was so right with that release - Dannii was robbed! I do love songs like "Attitude" for all the wrong reasons though.

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
Just her studio albums? "Neon Nights". But I probably listen to "The Hits & Beyond" more! SO. MANY. NUMBER. ONES.

4. Dannii's defining moment?
When the DWTS host in Australia mentioned all her massive number ones, of course! Take that Kylie! Lezziigate and flashing her tits in Playboy come a close second.

5. What do you love most about Dannii?
The grand delusion that comes with being a Dannii fan. The hopeless dreams as a fan that her next single is her first ever number one. The anticipation that Sony BMG will save Dannii's music career. The compulsive thoughts that the club charts do matter. And so on.

Magical Froggy

Representing the UK, Magical Froggy has worshipped the Queen of Clubs for more than a decade. Well known across the internet for his sublime and hilarious artwork, Magical Froggy (or Neptune as he is perhaps better known) is the man behind such legendary creations as the DanniiGoose and Where's Janet? as well as 95% of the artwork to feature on Dannii's Dirty Box.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
Although I used to watch Dannii in Home & Away (how could I forget her sunning herself on that lovely rock in the credits?!), and was aware of her early musical efforts, it wasn't until "Girl" that she truly caught my attention. I was entranced by this stunning blonde creature belting out "All I Wanna Do" on TOTP completely unaware that it was THE Dannii Minogue. I have been entranced by the more talented Minogue ever since...

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
"So Under Pressure" - the heartfelt lyrics about how Dannii felt following Kylie's cancer diagnosis are perfectly complemented in the video by bikinis and snakes.

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
"Girl" even the bad tracks are fascinating!

4. Dannii's defining moment?
Climbing out of a giant toilet on childrens' TV!

5. What you love most about Dannii?
Her determination to carry on, despite her bitch sister constantly trying to overshadow the true talent in the family.

Jay

Jay (also known as Queen Of Flops and Mr Grumpy) keeps the flame of Dannii fandom burning bright in Ireland. Renowned for his no nonsense demeanor and sharp tongue, this Dannii fan eats droids for breakfast. He was also famously accused of breaking into AATW's warehouse to steal an advance copy of "The Hits & Beyond". Jay's goal in life is to spend as much time as Dannii doing nothing.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
Though I knew of her due to her less $ucce$$ful sibling, it was the epic performance of "All I Wanna Do" in the ripped dress that cemented my Dannii Fandom.

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
"Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling", with "I Can't Sleep At Night" and the sublime "Am I Dreaming" close second and third.

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
"Girl" - though "The Hits & Beyond" is my favourite "Greatest Hits" album of all time.

4. Dannii's defining moment?
The classy spreads for Playboy.

5. What do you love most about Dannii?
Her dedication. To holidaying!

Natty

A long time Dannii fanatic from Melbourne, Natty fantasises about fisting Delta Goodrem and hopes to one day marry Grant Denyer. Natty has met Dannii several times and is well known and loved by anyone who has ever ventured onto a Minogue forum.

1. When did you become a Dannii fan?
I don't really remember, the first song I can remember clearly was "This is It", so I'm guessing the 15 years or so ago when that was released.

2. Your favourite Dannii song?
Nothing makes me moister than the gaytastic mardi gras anthem that is "Everlasting Night"!

3. Your favourite Dannii album?
Does "The Hits & Beyond" count? Actually I will go with "Neon Nights" because it's pure Dannii bliss.

4. Dannii's defining moment?
Being at Rod Laver Arena for the final Homecoming concert and watching Dannii upstage big sis Kylie while singing "Kids". I think I wet myself a little, seeing both girls on stage in Melbourne and being in the crowd to witness it.

5. What you love most about Dannii?
The music obviously, and she's such a hilarious and warm person in real life. It's just a shame that the record companies often seem to stuff her around so she seems like this lazy sod who can't be assed doing anything!

I'd like to thank everyone for their e-mails and comments encouraging me to start posting again. I really hope you will enjoy the new and hopefully improved Dannii's Dirty Box!

Dannii Reveals All

Will the unprecedented promotion of "Touch Me Like That" in Australia never end? After ringing around a couple of radio stations last week, Dannii has now granted an interview to the Australian dance music website Inthemix. Check it out here. The article is a great read, concentrating on Dannii's music instead of the usual "How does it feel to live in Kylie's shadow?" crap. It's interesting to learn how "Touch Me Like That" originated and I loved reading about Dannii's clubbing habits in Ibiza. The interview also confirms that "Club Disco" will get a physical release in Australia and contains possibly the best Dannii quote I've ever read. When asked what the future holds, Dannii replies:

My ambition is to spread happiness around the globe in the highest stacked, most gorgeous heels I can find.

FIERCE!

A special thanks to Natty for the fabulous picture.

Dannii - Queen Of Czechs?

In further proof of Dannii's global superstar status, "Touch Me Like That" is currently a top 20 hit - in the Czech Repbulic. Take that, Kylie!

Stop Press - Dannii Not A Flop!!

In a stunning development, I have to report that Dannii did NOT a flop! After the shocking absence of "Touch Me Like That" from this week's ARIA singles chart, I brazenly christened Dannii the new Queen of flops. Fans rumbled that the single might not have been chart eligible but I initially dismissed it as Dannii droid paranoia. I was wrong and they were right. I questioned ARIA and received an e-mail from them this morning stating that "Touch Me Like That" was ineligible to chart as a single due to the tracklisting. The representative also stated that sales were "healthy"! I have no idea what that means but I assume "Touch Me Like That" would have at least scraped into the top 100. $ucce$$.

I should have had more faith in Holidannii's massive popularity but the question remains why the single included so many remixes. It's ridiculous that Dannii gets punished for being generous to fans but there's still no explanation why 13 tracks were included in the first place. Central Station cater to DJs and often include 10 or more remixes - they must have known from past experience that the single would be ineligible to chart. The charts are of little relevance to a niche club release but Dannii is a commercial artist who needs to appear on radio and tv chart countdowns. What is going on? File this under: It could only happen to Dannii!

Meanwhile, it seems I wasn't the only one questioning ARIA about Dannii's chart performance. The fat bitches at Sydney Confidential found the time to whip up a nasty little article praising the song but questioning Dannii's involvement. As much as I love Jason Nevins, "Touch Me Like That" would be nothing without Dannii's heavenly vocals and S&M tranny get up! Check out the article below.

Dannii Calls In From South Africa

Dannii has taken the unprecedented step of interrupting her holiday to promote "Touch Me Like That" - via telephone. The queen of clubs/flops has been racking up some huge phone bills dialling various Australian radio stations over the past couple of days. Yesterday's appearance on the Hamish & Andy show was particularly enlightening. Among other juicy tidbits, Dannii revealed that she recently sat in the front row of a Spice Girls concert and then went backstage to stalk "Golden Balls" (ie. David Beckham). Apparently Dannii was interested in checking out his bulge after seeing the photo below. Dirty Dannii!!

The desperate diva also confirmed that she cyber-stalked Robin Thicke (below) but gave up when she realised he was married. I can see the appeal! Other juicy tidbits include a confirmation that Dannii is returning for series 2 of "Australia's Got Talent" and the usual spiel about being "club royalty" and the hazards of her lofty gay icon status.

There really is a recurring theme about Dannii being high and dry. And the real reason can finally be revealed - Dannii's chandeliers! In possibly the most ridiculous (yet unbearably fabulous) article I have ever read, Dannii blames her lack of bedroom action on her light fixtures:

Dannii Minogue’s social life has been ruined by her new chandeliers. The X Factor judge — who recently confessed she is single and desperate to find a boyfriend — has been unable to invite anyone back to her place for weeks as the floor of her London home is covered in sparkling glass lamps.

In a sign that Armageddon is nigh, that glorious piece of journalism was considered newsworthy enough to feature on The Times Of India. Last but not least is the startlingly news that "Touch Me Like That" has climbed to #96 on the Australian iTunes album chart! Finally some $ucce$$!

Dannii - Queen Of Flops

Dannii's string of 8 consecutive Australian top 40 hits comes to a screeching halt with "Touch Me Like That". Minogue Jr's massive UK flop has performed even worse in Australia with no sign of the single in the physical top 50 or the top 20 for Australian artists. In all likelihood, "Touch Me Like That" missed the top 100 altogether. The saddest thing about the situation is the fact that it was entirely foreseeable. What chance did the song have with zero airplay and no promotion? I notice that Dannii has a stack of radio interviews scheduled for this week but, unfortunately, I think it's too little too late.

Single Of The Week!

$ucce$$! "Touch Me Like That" is the Daily Telegraph's well deserved single of the week. The critics (well, one critic) love it but the song is still nowhere to be seen on the iTunes chart. Fingers crossed that the physical single is flying out of stores or this will be Dannii's biggest "fan release" yet!