Ruth Campbell's Tragifabulous Dannii Cover!

"This Is It" was a hit for Melba Moore in the 1976 but truly became an international anthem when the duchess of dance (ie. Dannii Minogue) covered the song in the early 1990s. Dannii's version remains one of her brightest pop moments and one of her biggest hits in Australia. As far as I'm concerned, Dannii's interpretation is absolute perfection. Holidannii's voice sounds amazing, the production is fabulous, Dannii's hair looks fierce in the video and the dance routine is legendary. Obviously, the stunning success of Dannii's version inspired the release (or possibly re-release) of Ruth Campbell's craptastic dance version in 1997. If anyone has any information about Ruth, please let me know because this is the first I've heard of her. If "This Is It" is any indication, Ruth is probably cleaning toilets now or working at McDonalds. Her version is great fun but nowhere near as fabulous as Dannii's. I hope you enjoy it!

Download: Ruth Campbell - This Is It

A Rock Tribute To Dannii

The universal love of Dannii truly knows no boundaries. Who could have guessed that our beloved icon of fabulousness would inspire an indie rock group to the extent that they would record a song in her honour? I don't know much about The Affected, apart from the fact that they were a three piece band from Melbourne and broke up in the mid-90s. This kind of music is not exactly my cup of tea but "Dannii" is strangely enjoyable, mostly due to the stunning lyrics such as "Dannii's like a neutral zone" and something filthy about tasting "the butter between her thighs". As if Dannii would be interested in such outrageous behaviour!

Download - Dannii

You can purchase The Affected's "Dannii EP" as well as their two full length albums from iTunes.

Smell The Desperation!

I would definitely purchase a fragrance by Dannii. I'm guessing Eau Du Dannii would smell like lube and gin, mixed in with some tanning lotion! Even if it was bottled piss, it would have to smell better than "Darling"...

Australia's Got Talent - The Verdict

Dannii's fabulous stint as a judge on "Australia's Got Talent" officially ended on Sunday night with the series' finale. The show was undoubtedly a ratings success but didn't exactly revive Dannii's career to the extent that I had hoped. Nevertheless, the series proved that Holidannii is still very much a favourite with the Australian public and helped remind the nation why we fell in love with her in the first place - Dannii is, quite simply, an absolute sweetheart!

It will be interesting to see if Dannii is offered "X Factor". News has been conspicuously quiet on that front, so I assume Dannii is no longer in the running. It's a shame because "X Factor" would place considerably more focus on Dannii's singing, which could only help to re-start her career in the UK. Furthermore, I think Dannii makes an excellent judge. She might have the occasional blond moment but her enthusiasm is catching and let's face it, no one has got as far with as little effort as our Holidannii!

I thought I would share some of my favourite moments from "Australia's Got Talent" for those who couldn't tune in.

My Favourite Performances:

Essan Laurent

The stunningly talented Essan Laurent proved himself to be the Australian Dana International with his brilliant self-composed tune "Oi Oi Oi, I'm Your Candy Sailor Boy"! Dannii should cover this song herself! Unfortunately, Essan didn't make it past the first round. Rudeness.



Miz Ima Starr:

This performer is so fabulous it almost defies belief. Miz Ima Starr has sultry good looks and a body to die for! The fabulous bitch brought the house down with her trannytastic version of "Last Dance". Dannii is so overwhelmed, she has to get out of her seat!



Miz Ima Starr gets fresh with judges. Dannii's reaction is adorable:



Soul Mystique:

Soul Mystique made it to the grand final with the campest act imaginable. While not as fabulous as Essan Laurent or Miz Ima Starr, this was my favourite of the finalists. I have absolutely no idea how they do it either!



Al Milar, The Human Knot:

This guy can put his entire body through a tennis racket, while juggling and telling jokes. I was impressed! I love how Dannii is so grossed out, she has to turn away!



The Jazz-A-Belles:

I love the oldies and these ladies are just fierce! I want to be this fabulous when I'm a wrinkly, old bastard.



Madeline Perrone:

The judges were not very kind to Madeline, preferring another pre-pubescent female singer. Personally, I thought Madeline had personality! I love the fact that she sang "What A Feeling" and danced around like a silly, little tart. I'd buy her music if she gets a record deal!



Dannii's Favourite:

Each judge was allowed to select their favourite non-finalist to perform on the final show. Dannii selected a 10 year old magician!! Enjoy Zac's Magic:



The Runner Up:

Herb Patten:

According to the viewers of Australia, our second most talent man plays songs on a gum leaf....



The Winner:

Bonnie Anderson:

The winner of "Australia's Got Talent" and the recipient of $250,000 is 12 year old Bonnie Anderson. The girl has a pleasant voice but, in my opinion, she's incredibly dull. It speaks volumes about Australian society that the winner is a child who specialises in power ballads and gospel tunes. This is her interpretation of Beyonce's "Listen". The highlight of this clip is the outfit that Dannii wore on the finale. One of her tits is almost hanging out! Thank heavens for Hollywood tape!



"Australia's Got Talent" was weird, wonderful and ultimately somewhat predictable. I hope it returns for a second season!

He's The Greatest Dancer - A #1 Hit!!!

If only the official ARIA Chart looked like this! Dannii topped the Sanity Singles Chart last week, selling more copies than the official #1 - Missy Higgins' unbearably vile "Steer". I suspect the reason for Dannii's disproportionately high chart placing is due to the fact that Sanity includes international sales from their website. I doubt the addition of these sales would have drastically altered Dannii's chart position but it is heartening to see that Dannii's army of followers remain as loyal as ever.

The Trials And Tribulations Of Dannii Fandom

Dannii - On High Beam!

Dannii's latest single, "He's The Greatest Dancer", debuted in Australian Singles Chart at a very respectable #37 this week. The song marks Dannii's 8th consecutive Australian top 40 hit, making this by far the most successful period in a music career spanning more than two decades. With most artists, a similar achievement would be greeted by an enthusiastic fan response. In Dannii's case, the droids (hardcore Dannii Board fans) were inconsolable and the rest of her fans were falling over themselves to declare the song a "flop", "a bomb" and even "the end of Dannii's career". The majority of Dannii's fans appear to be deluded, ignorant or downright hateful. In this post, I will analyse the success of "He's The Greatest Dancer" and attempt to answer two of life's great mysteries: 1) Why are Dannii fans so fucked up? and 2) Who are more offensive - the droids or the bitches?

"He's The Greatest Dancer" is clearly no smash hit. The song wont receive any kind of sales accreditation and it wont trouble the end of year bestseller list. However, if you judge the success of every release by those criteria, every song that fails to top the chart would be a complete disaster. A number 37 chart placing is commendable for a gay disco anthem released on a small independent record label without a video. When you take into consideration the fact that the song and all its mixes have been leaked for almost a year, the chart placing of "He's The Greatest Dancer" is excellent. The result also needs to be viewed in the context of Dannii's career. Her last release, "So Under Pressure", charted at number 16 before downloads were counted toward the chart. "He's The Greatest Dancer" placed at number 26 on the physical singles chart and unlike "So Under Pressure", it was not supported by a video clip, a tour or even Dannii shamelessly claiming that the song was about Kylie's cancer! "He's The Greatest Dancer" will not go down as Dannii's finest chart moment but it is far from a failure.

This leads us to my first question. Why are Dannii fans either woefully deluded or bitter and twisted? Anyone who has had the "pleasure" of posting on the Dannii Board will be familiar with the droids. They brazenly predict that every Dannii release will be a multi-platinum smash and label anyone who remotely criticises Dannii a "hater". I have been a loyal Dannii fan since the 80s but I still get hate mail from certain droids for the shocking crime of celebrating Lezzigate and posting pictures of the Dannii Goose. Apparently, I'm destroying Dannii's good name! I think a psychiatry degree is needed to get to the root issues plaguing the droids but I think the main reason for their delusions of Dannii grandeur is pretty clear - deep down the droids expect Dannii to be as successful as Kylie. Since "Light Years", Kylie's lowest charting single is #20. For Dannii to achieve anything less is unacceptable to the droids. The droids have simply gone mad waiting for Dannii's moment in the sun. The situation would actually be quite sad if the droids weren't such humourless cunts.

The other major section of Dannii fandom is more difficult to explain. I'm talking about the people who appear to follow Dannii's career intently with the sole purpose of ridiculing everything she does and rubbing salt into Dannii's wounds when she (regularly) falls on her face. The backslapping that accompanied the chart result of "He's The Greatest Dancer" was vomit inducing. I'm used to bitchy queens on the internet but this outpouring of bile was something to behold. Every queen with an internet connection threw in their 2 cents - Dannii is irrelevant, Dannii is lazy, the choice of song was terrible, Dannii's plastic surgery frightened punters away and so on and so forth. Strangely, these people all seem to consider themselves fans. I questioned a couple of these individuals about their behaviour and they claimed to be frustrated with the droids and with Dannii. Again, I have to wonder what these people actually expect from a dance artist on a tiny label.

This leads me to my second question - which group of Dannii fans is the most unbearable? Personally, I think that both fractions suck shit and as far as I'm concerned, they can all go and fuck themselves. Mixing with other fans should be an enjoyable experience, not a masochistic exercise. Fans who enjoy Dannii for her unequalled fabulousness and hilarious flaws can worship Dannii with me inside Dannii's Dirty Box. The rest of you can get fucked.

How I Feel After Visiting The Dannii Board

Dannii On Dancing With The Stars!

Dannii performed on Channel 7's hugely popular "Dancing With The Stars" last night and our heavenly diva reinforced her standing as a true pop legend with an absolutely stunning performance of "He's The Greatest Dancer". You can watch Dannii's magnificent performance above.

Dirty, old Daryl's introduction was hilarious. He desperately held onto her single and announced that Dannii "has had so many #1 hits, it's unbelievable"! Unfortunately, this moment has been edited from the youtube clip. Dannii then appeared on a staircase wearing a slutastic green dress, split right up the middle, so you could basically see everything but her lady bits. The matching silver bra and necklace look amazing and Dannii actually sang live. I think Dannii gives a fantastic vocal performance. I also loved her male dancers but Dannii doesn't do much dancing herself, preferring to spin around so her dress would fly up!

My favourite part was the interview at the end, when Daryl told her that he expected "He's The Greatest Dancer" to hit #1 because she's had so many hits. The look on poor Dannii's face was priceless. Dannii then showed off her stunning wit and intelligence by talking about ballroom dancing and her role as the reigning Queen of dance.

Make sure to order your copy of "He's The Greatest Dancer" from Chaos, Sanity or iTunes. Due to distribution problems, the single is rather difficult to find in stores. I hope it doesn't affect Dannii's chart placing too greatly.

Dannii Not Assured Of X Factor

It seems we might have all been prematurely excited about Dannii being offered a job as a judge on the UK's "X Factor" talent show. Dannii told today's Daily Telegraph newspaper that the deal is yet to be signed. I really hope Dannii gets the job, this might be the publicity she needs to kick start her fabulous music career. However, Dannii may struggle with being gainfully employed for such a long period of time. Poor Holidannii must be crying on the inside!

This Is The Way - B Sides

"This Is The Way" is one of my favourite Dannii singles. Along with "This Is It", the song is one of the rare pure pop moments on Dannii's otherwise R'n'B heavy "Get Into You". The single is also interesting due to the plethora of cute, bubblegum remixes and the presence of a rather rare B-side, "No Secret". As far as I know, "No Secret" is the only "Get Into You" B-side available on CD. The cassette single of "This Is It" contains a song called "It's Time To Move On" but I have no idea how to rip an MP3 from a cassette.

"No Secret" is a pretty average slice of R'n'B Dannii but it's still a lot of fun. I'm sure a Full Force remix would work wonders for the song. I've also include the extremely entertaining Funk and 5 Boys Mixes of "This Is The Way". Dannii returns to television this week after a short hiatus, so expect an "Australia's Got Talent" update early next week.

Download - No Secret
Download - This Is The Way (5 Boys Mix)
Download - This Is The Way (Funk Mix)

In case anyone is interested, I have written a post about Dannii's fabulous AATW rival, Kelly Llorenna, on my other Blog.

Dannii Watch - Australian Formula One

This stunning pic comes from "Famous" magazine. I love how all the guys are totally checking Dannii out. They are only human! I can just imagine Dannii trying to find Kylie a man: "My desperate mole of a sister needs a root. How about it?"

This cool pic appeared in "Woman's Day". I love how Dannii is totally hogging the photo!

Get Into You - Craptastic Remix

Of all Dannii's experiments with R'n'B, "Get Into You" is by far the most authentic in sound. Dannii's vocal performance is excellent and the rhythm kicks like a bitch. In fact, the song could easily be mistaken for the kind of music being released by the likes of En Vogue in the mid-1990s. The only distinction is the fact that En Vogue would not have a couple of tragic gay dancers ruin their video - but I digress. The whole point of "Get Into You" was to re-launch Dannii as a fierce urban diva with the ultimate goal of breaking the American market. I have always suspected that Dannii's label were somewhat dubious about her new sound. That would explain the inclusion of the supremely fabulous "This Is It" on an otherwise R'n'B heavy album and the alternate radio edit of "Get Into You". The bizarrely titled "Hustlers Convention Disco Mix Radio Edit" is so far removed from the original radio edit that it could be a different song. It's definitely not an improvement, but it is a lot of craptastic fun!

Download - Get Into You (Hustlers Convention Disco Mix Radio Edit)

He's The Greatest Dancer - Aus Release

Dannii will finally unleash "He's The Greatest Dancer" upon the Australian public on the 16th of April. The cover art is stunning, although it is a bit cheeky to use images from the "I Can't Sleep At Night" photoshoot. The tracklist is exactly the same as the promo that has been floating around since late last year, which is a bit of a worry. I know it's greedy of me but I would go down on Dannii's homegirl Sheila for a new B-side! Hopefully, Central Station Records will re-issue "The Hits & Beyond" with something new if "He's The Greatest Dancer" does well for them. The tracklist is listed below:

1. He's The Greatest Dancer (Lmc Edit)
2. He's The Greatest Dancer (Lmc Extended)
3. He's The Greatest Dancer (Chris Lake Remix)
4. He's The Greatest Dancer (Shapeshifters Remix)
5. He's The Greatest Dancer (Kenny Hayes Dub Addiction)
6. He's The Greatest Dancer (Riffs & Rays Mix)
7. He's The Greatest Dancer (Sebastien Leger Electro Vocal)
8. He's The Greatest Dancer (Fugitive Club Mix)

I posted these mixes before the release of "He's The Greatest Dancer" was announced and they have now been removed. I have faith that everyone who has enjoyed them will support Dannii and purchase a physical copy. You can pre-order your copy from Chaos today!

PS. Was Dannii wearing the dress from the cover of "He's The Greatest Dancer" tonight on "Australia's Got Talent"? It looked quite similar.

Hits & Beyond Megamix

The first semi-final of "Australia's Got Talent" was the most Dannii-tastic episode of the series yet. I particularly loved the clearly scripted reference to Dannii's UK #1 dance hits and Holidannii finally name-dropping her sister! I'm sure I wasn't the only fan to breathe a sigh of relief. It's about time that Dannii started publicity whoring in earnest, particularly with the very positive initial response to "He's The Greatest Dancer", which has seen it make the top 10 most added songs to Australian radio. To put things into perspective, I don't remember hearing "So Under Pressure" on the radio a single time! The newspapers are also speculating that Dannii will perform the song on "Australia's Got Talent" or "Dancing With The Stars", which would almost guarantee Dannii another #43 smash hit. I pray it happens!

In the meantime, let's remember Dannii's stunning greatest hits compilation with the Hits & Beyond Megamix. I'm told that this fabulous mix appeared on a Joy FM compilation and was intended at one stage as a Hits & Beyond bonus track. A big thanks to Bruno for the mix!

Download - Hits & Beyond Megamix

Rare - The Original Everlasting Night '95

I'm very excited to share the original version of Dannii's Mardi Gras classic "Everlasting Night". When I posted the Mardi Gras version of "Everlasting Night" during the original run of Dannii's Dirty Box, Robpop mentioned that the song was, in fact, a cover version - or more accurately, a re-working of an earlier song recorded for Dannii's intended third album with MCA, which was eventually scrapped. After much digging, Blogland's hooker with a heart of gold has finally found the original "Everlasting Night" in the murky depths of his hardrive and was kind enough to share it with me. Thank you, Rob!

This version of "Everlasting Night" comes from the London Pride festival way back in 1995. Rob tells me that the song was initially considered for "Girl" but inexplicably did not make the final cut. I am totally blown away by how much better the original version is. I love Dannii's Mardi Gras version of "Everlasting Night" but the original is just so much more poptastic. The music reeks of Euro-pop and the chorus is infinitely more catchy. The line where Dannii says "everybody party now!" makes me want to touch myself. This is truly a slice of pop perfection!

Download - Everlasting Night (Pride At Galaxy Version)

Notre Dame de Paris - Musical Dannii!

I vividly remember seeing Dannii perform in Notre Dame de Paris. I was living in Germany at the time and I flew into London on the pretence of visiting a friend but really with the sole purpose of seeing Dannii strut her stuff on stage. It was quite bizarre sitting in the audience for the simple fact that I recognised so many faces. I experienced the same phenomenon at Dannii's "Hits & Beyond" live spectacular last year and at Kylie's "Showgirl Homecoming". Minogue fans are nothing if not dedicated!

From the moment the curtain went up, I was transfixed by Dannii's amazing talent and otherwordly beauty. Dannii's years of training on Young Talent Time really showed, she knew how to communicate with the audience with the skill of Broadway veteran. However, the most satisfying part of the entire performance was the strength and range of Dannii's voice. She really belted out the ballads and remained note perfect.

I have always hoped that Dannii's performance would one day be released on CD or DVD. That looks increasingly unlikely but thanks to the lovely Bruno, we can listen to Dannii's stunning live rendition of "Live For The One I Love". This performance gives me shivers. I hope you all enjoy it.

Download - Live For The One I Love

Australia's Got Talent - Final Heat

Dannii's Dirty Box has officially re-opened! I thought it would be useful to have all the Dannii posts in the one place. I can also update Dannii's Box now without interrupting Pop Trash Addicts. The place is a bit of a mess at the moment but that will hopefully sort itself out over the next couple of weeks. It's time to return our attention to Dannii!

Tonight was the final heat of Australia's Got Talent and the acts were as classy as usual. There were the usual selection of "cute" kids playing instruments and singing inappropriate songs alongside some truly bizarre individuals such as the man who plays music - on a carrot. I guess that's a talent. Of some sort. My favourite act this week were definitely the pair who changed clothes really quickly. I know that sounds ridiculous but I was mesmerised! Particularly when the man opened the umbrella and the woman changed in a cloud of shiny streamers. I could have watched it all night!

Dannii was luminous as usual. She really is a stunning woman. I think Dannii is coming across really well. She is funny and really quite down to earth. My only wish is that Dannii would drop that ridiculous fake American accent she slips into occasionally. It makes me cringe every time and the silence (as opposed to the intended laughter) is deafening. Apart from that I have the feeling that Australia's Got Talent has been a great career move for Dannii.

Closing Dannii's Box

The time has finally come to close Dannii's Dirty Box. I originally intended to make the switch from Pop Trash Addicts for only a couple of days in order to honour Dannii's return to television, but was soon caught up in the unprecedented tidal wave of Dannii-mania that swept through Blogland! I have really enjoyed exploring the nooks and crannies of Dannii's fabulous career and am proud of the amount of material I was able to get through. I posted several rare tracks, celebrated Dannii's stunning acting career, irrefutably proved that Dannii is the ultimate gay icon, lovingly remembered Dannii's nude modelling days, appreciated her lesbian ways and showed some love to Dannii's early releases!

However, there were several bumps along the way. I was deluged with hate-mail from the Dannii Board, received threats of legal action, was IP banned from Dannii's forum and from SayHey (yet again) and received abusive messages from Robpop fans. All in all, it has been an eventful few weeks! I need to thank Tommie, Jay, Rob, Brian and MoistSexBox for all of the great material they have very generously shared with me.

I would just like to take this chance to remind people that there is no excuse for not completing your Dannii collection. Dannii's early material is still quite easy to find on Australian Ebay, while her later output is available at every quality online retailer. There is absolutely no excuse for Australian fans not to own "The Hits & Beyond", as it is currently on sale at JB Hi-Fi and HMV for $10. It's the bargain of the decade! Just make sure you get a copy with the bonus DVD.

I will be back in a few days with a re-vamped Pop Trash Addicts. If you are not familiar with my old Blog, check out the archives. Dannii is a regular and I promise to post new Dannii material as soon as I receive it. Expect to see music by other international superstars like Melissa Tkautz, Kelly Llorenna, Nicki French, La Toya Jackson, Marcia Hines and Laura Imbruglia in the very near future. I hope you have all enjoyed Dannii's Dirty Box as much as I have!

The Dannii Float At Mardi Gras

I am head over heels in love with the fabulous fags behind "Dannii Pride" at Mardi Gras. These three amazing people brought Dannii's plight to the masses with their "I Can Sing Too!" slogan. A big thanks to Rob for the pic.

My 25 Favourite Dannii Songs

I've been debating whether I should countdown my favourite Dannii songs since opening Dannii's Dirty Box. I resisted because it is completely arbitrary - my favourites change on a daily basis. But what the fuck! These are my 25 favourite Dannii songs. As of today. I'm sure you'll agree that each and every one of them is a work of poptastic genius. Dannii might have spent more time lying on a beach than most lifeguards, but who is going to begrudge her some relaxation when she keeps turning out gems like these?

25. Work (Love & Kisses, album track)

Drivin’ in my brand new Benz 190
My homegirl Sheila
She’s coolin’ right beside me

Given her current standing as the undisputed queen of dance, it is easy to forget that Dannii launched her career with an eye firmly on the American market and that meant a pop album with a distinctly urban edge. I love Dannii's debut album and "Work" stands out as one of her most amusing R'n'B experiments.

24. Everybody Changes Underwater (Girl, album track)

Diving deeper, beckoned by dolphins

I can't decide if this is one of Dannii's best songs or one of her worst. Whatever the case may be, it is certainly the most bizarre thing Dannii has ever recorded. Dannii spends 6 minutes talking about water and dolphins against a backdrop of eerie electronic bleeps. Experimental genius or a load of stinking shit? I'm not sure but I know I like it!

23. Show You The Way To Go (Get Into You, single - #30 UK, #104 Aus)

Follow me my friend
Let me show ya, let me show you the way to go

As La Toya Jackson's self-proclaimed number 1/only Australian fan, I have always had a soft spot for the crazy Jackson clan. Therefore, Dannii's cover of the Jacksons' "Show You The Way To Go" was always going to be irresistable to me. Which is lucky because everyone else seems to despise the song.

Watch - Show You The Way To Go

22. Mighty Fine (Neon Nights, album track)

Zip a de day, just sail (your troubles away)

The first time I heard "Neon Nights", the song that really stood out for me was "Mighty Fine". The only reason for its low placing is the simple fact that I've played it 3000 times and need a rest. "Mighty Fine" reminds me of the slow disco classics of the late 70s, with its full sound and dreamy lyrics. A slice of pop heaven!

21. Coconut (Girl, single - #62 Aus)

Doctor, is there nothing I can take
to relieve this bellyache?
Now let me get this straight

"Coconut" reminds me of the Sydney gay scene. In fact, I heard it twice last night! It's pure dance trash but that's exactly why I like it. And what other song can boast its own drug taking game?!

Download - here

20. This Is The Way (Get Into You, single - #27 UK, #45 Aus)

Alone in a crowd in a city
Searching for love

"Get Into You" is probably my least favourite Dannii album but it did have some great singles. I love the faux American pop vibe of "This Is The Way" and the video is pure gold.

Download - This Is The Way (The Cool 7")

19. Vibe On (Neon Nights, album track)

Jump on top it
Sit right on it

When confronted with trashy, low class individuals like Robpop who claim that Dannii is nothing but a cheap imitation of Kylie, I always bring up "Vibe On". Kylie wouldn't sing a song about her vibrator if her life depended on it, even though she probably has a bigger collection than Dannii. "Vibe On" sums up all of Dannii's best qualities - her sense of humour, the fact that she doesn't take herself too seriously and her love of plastic cock. What more could you want in a pop star? Dannii explains the song by maintaining that it is really about sitting on speakers - bitch, please.

18. Boogie Woogie (Japan only single, #1 Japan)

You know you made a difference in my life
You came along and eased my troubled mind

I love Dannii's brief stint as Japan's leading dance diva. "Rescue Me" is fabulous but "Boogie Woogie" gets my vote due to its distinctively Euro sound. Whigfield would be jealous of this little gem. It's that good!

Download - here

17. It’s Amazing (Girl, album track)

It’s only when the night descends upon me
That I realise no one can take your place

"It's Amazing" is one of Dannii's most gorgeous ballads. This is Xenomania at their absolute best. The production is a delight, with beautiful strings, heavy breathing and subtle electronic bleeps. This is one of the many tracks from "Girl" that cried out to be released as a single. "It's Amazing" is a romantic treat.

16. I Don’t Wanna Take This Pain (Love & Kisses, single - #40 UK, #92 Aus)

If loving you is wrong
Then wrong has got to be right

You either love R'n'B Dannii or you hate it. I obviously love it and in my opinion, the rap duel towards the end of this song is one of the most glorious moments in Dannii's entire catalogue. I particularly love the 12" version, which is the closest Dannii will ever get to sounding like SoulIISoul!

Download - I Don't Wanna Take This Pain (12" Mix)

15. Jump To The Beat (Love & Kisses, single - #8 UK, #48 Aus)

Embrace the good things in life
Come on and dance with me

I much prefer the original Australian version of "Love & Kisses" to the English version, with one exception - the poptastic "Jump To The Beat". The song was a desperate ploy to spark some interest in the UK and it worked a treat, making #8 in the charts. "Jump To The Beat" is irresistable bubblegum pop.

14. Perfection (The Hits & Beyond, single - #11 UK, #13 Aus)

I’m aching inside
I’m aching inside for you

You could not go into a Sydney gay club last year and not hear "Perfection". The first time I heard it, I thought the song was cheap and cheerful trash. However, it has grown on me immensely and I now realise that Dannii has unleashed yet another pop masterpiece. The video is priceless. I'm sure Dannii filmed it on her camcorder during one of her many trips to Ibiza!

Download - Perfection (Drag Mix Edit)

13. Success (Love & Kisses, single - #11 UK, #26 Aus)

Tell me are you ready
Really really ready for success

I think "Success" is a great song but it has a deeper meaning as Dannii's declaration of intent. In fact, I think of "Success" as Dannii's personal anthem. She had her sights set on pop stardom and nothing was going to stand in her way. Well, apart from Kylie and a couple of hundred holidays. I'm so happy that Dannii is now experiencing success as the queen of UK club music and as a judge on Australia's 4th most watched show.

Download - Success (E-smoothe Groovy 12")

12. Don’t Wanna Lose This Feeling (Neon Nights, single - #5 UK, #22 Aus)

I said some things
That did not ring true

The fourth single from "Neon Nights" was a blast of 100% pure pop fun. The mash-up with Madonna's "Into The Groove" is brilliantly done and Dannii looks like a goddess in the video. A rare example of a record company getting everything right. AATW, please take note.

Download - Don't Wanna Lose This Groove (Extended Bootleg Mix)

11. Get Into You (Get Into You, single - #36 UK, #79 Aus)

I don’t want your love
I want your soul instead

"Get Into You" sounds more like early 90s En Vogue than Dannii Minogue. It should be awful but it's actually rather sublime. I think Dannii's voice suits this sound surprisingly well. In fact, I think Dannii should revive freestyle as her next project! I've uploaded a club mix to balance out the R'n'B flavour.

Download - Get Into You (Arizona Club Mix)

10. Begin To Spin Me Round (Neon Nights, single - #2 UK, #14 Aus)

You’re a sinner but you told me you’re a saint
Too fast I tripped and lost my way
Can’t believe what’s happened to me lately

I truly believed that this would be Dannii's first #1 hit. As one of the best songs of this decade, it deserved to sit at the top of the pop charts. The song is hot in its own right but mashed with Dead Or Alive's "Spin Me Round", it is utterly perfect. The video is also superb, particularly when Dannii cuts off her hair. I've uploaded the excellent extended version.

Download - Begin To Spin Me Round (Extended Mix)

9. Love & Kisses (Love & Kisses, single - #8 UK, #4 Aus)

You’re the kind of girl
That I want to keep
We ain’t at McDonalds
So what’s your beef?

Danni's debut single was an absolute corker. I remember running to buy the 7" single, which came with a fold out poster that had pride of place in my bedroom for years. The lyrics are adorable and Dannii is definitely not "the plain Jane type"! An Australian pop classic.

8. Feel Like I Do (So Under Pressure, B-side)

I want your number baby
So write it down on me

I still can't believe that something as brilliant as "Feel Like I Do" ended up as the B-side to "So Under Pressure". What the fuck? From the opening piano/keyboards to the killer chorus, this song screams out to be a single. This is the gravest pop injustice since Kylie's "Tightrope" ended up as a shitty bonus track. I'm still mad!

Download - Feel Like I Do

7. So In Love With Yourself (Girl, album track)

So in love with yourself
How could you love somebody else?

This was my favourite Dannii song for many a year but I think I've played it a couple of thousand times too often. "So In Love With Yourself" is about as classy as dance music gets. The vocals, the melody and the production are all gorgeous. Fuck, Kylie even sings back-up! If this was released as the second single from "Girl" instead of "Everything I Wanted", the album would have stood a much greater chance of success. As it is, this stunning anthem remains a fan favourite.

6. For The Record (Neon Nights, album track)

It’s just a thirst
And I’m drunk on the addiction

"Neon Nights" really is an amazing achievement. The album just gets better with age and I continue to find new favourites. "For The Record" is a slice of disco heaven. There hasn't been anything quite this fabulous since the 80s. I don't think "For The Record" was ever considered as a single and in all honesty, it doesn't have the edge of an "I Begin To Wonder" or "Put The Needle On It". Instead, "For The Record" exudes fun and warmth. Like Dannii, this song just gets better with age!

5. Come & Get It (Neon Nights, digital single Germany)

If tonight is going right
Move in a little closer

J.C.A. should be legally obliged to work on every Dannii album. The man behind "I Begin To Wonder" created what has to be the most spectacular "hidden track" in musical history. "Come & Get It" is an insanely catchy floorfiller, which works brilliantly as a straight-up pop song. I sincerely believe that Dannii threw away a #1 hit. Oh well.

Download - here

4. This Is It (Get Into You, single - #10 UK, #13 Aus)

I’m lost for words, I’m in a daze
Stunned and amazed by your open ways

Dannii's cover of Melba Moore's "This Is It" was her first big Australian hit after a string of flops. I remember how great it was to have Dannii back on Video Hits and Rage. The video even became a much spoofed phenomenon and I can remember the steps to the tacky dance routine to this very day. There is nothing subtle or original about "This Is It". It's just good, old-fashioned, gay-as-all-fuck pop music! I've included Dannii's live interpretation for the "25 Years of Mushroom" concert.

Download - This Is It (Live)

3. Am I Dreaming? (Girl, album track)

Can you hear me, hear me calling?

"Girl" is such a quirky pop album. If Dannii's detractors ever took the time to actually listen to it, I'm sure they would be impressed. "Am I Dreaming?" has aged remarkably well. The song sounds as fresh today as it did 10 years ago. "Am I Dreaming?" is not your average piece of dance-fluff. The lyrics are thoughtful and the melody is drenched in melancholy. It really is a very impressive achievement.

2. Who Do You Love Now? (Neon Nights, single - #3 UK, #15 Aus)

And it’s hard to break a habit

Dannii revived her career with this dark and brooding dance epic. I was living in Europe when "Who Do you Love Now?" was released and I was floored to hear Dannii on a German radio station. Dannii was not only back on the charts but was suddenly a cutting-edge dance diva with a sexy, new dyke-tastic hairstyle. Dannii has since made a habit of re-interpreting instrumental club hits but she is yet to match the brilliance of "Stringer". This is as good as dance music gets. Check out the French version of "Who Do You Love Now?".

Download - Est-ce que tu m'aimes encore?

1. Party Jam (Love & Kisses, album track)

Hey yo listen up
My name is Dannii
It’s time to get loose to my
Brand new Jammy!

Shut up. I love it! I know "Party Jam" is not the best song in Dannii's catalogue of hits but it is my favourite. When I purchased "Love & Kisses", I didn't know what to think of Dannii's solo material until "Party Jam" came blaring out of the stereo. I was instantly smitten. To my 10 year old ears, Dannii's rapping made her the coolest woman on the planet. Obviously, I have since realised that "Party Jam" does not exactly count as gangster rap. I still believe that Dannii does not get enough recognition for how unusual it was for an Australian pop act to combine urban elements at that time. As usual, Dannii was decades ahead of her time. It took Kylie until 2003 to go down the same path with "Body Language" - some 13 years later.

Download - Party Jam

Happy Mardi Gras From Dannii's Box!

I hope everyone had (or is still having) a great Mardi Gras. I feel a bit worse for wear but my weekly dose of Dannii on "Australia's Got Talent" has made everything feel better. Dannii was so funny tonight, particularly when she rejected the dancers who named her as their personal hero. Whoops. I loved the dancing kids. It was "Young Talent Time" all over again, no wonder Dannii liked them!

I couldn't help revisting history once again with another look at how things should have been for Dannii dearest, particularly after the hysterical reaction that greeted the last picture. Once again, I have to thank Mr Froggy for the amazing art. I want to see Dannii do "Let's Get To It"!

The Way That History Intended...

Retro Dannii Remixes

Dannii's Dirty Box is slowly coming to an end and I realise that I haven't paid enough attention to the early years of Dannii's brilliant career. I have collected a handful of early remixes, which will give new fans some indication of Dannii's fabulous roots and remind old fans of Dannii's brilliance.

"Everything I Wanted" was the second single from "Girl". Sadly, it is probably the worst song on the album and basically killed the entire project. The single version was pretty dire but the Xenomania remix is a reminder of how good that outfit used to be.

Download - Everything I Wanted (Xenomania Radio Edit)

One of the highlights of Dannii's second album, "Get Into You", is undoubtedly "This Is The Way". In fact, it's still one of my favourite Dannii singles. "The Cool 7" Version" is better yet!

Download - This Is The Way (The Cool 7")

"Success" is a song that is near and dear to all Dannii fans. Here is one of the better remixes.

Download - Success (E-smoothe Groovy 12")

Dannii is an undisputed master of cover versions and one of her best is "Baby Love".

Download - Baby Love (Silky 70s Edit)

"Disremembrance" was the third single from "Girl". There are arguably better songs on "Girl" but I still love this. Particularly the "bimbo goth" video, with Dannii crying in what appears to be a graveyard. I have always enjoyed this remix.

Download - Disremembrance (Flexifingers 12" Pop Mix)

I vaguely remember someone requesting "Hallucination". I apologise for not remembering exactly who it was. "Hallucination" was the B-side to "Jump To The Beat" in Australia and "Baby Love" in Japan. I personally think that "Hallucination" is Dannii's trashtastic opus. This song has everything - sirens, barking and Dannii throwing down some hot rhymes - against a crazy 90s house track. Something about it also reminds me of "Justify My Love", if it were covered by Ya Kid K in 1992!

Download - Hallucination (L.A. Remix)

Youtube Goodies

I would hate to think how many hours of my life I have wasted, wading through fabulous crap on youtube. It never ceases to amaze me what you can find if you are desperate enough to keep looking. Here are some of my favourite Dannii related clips:

• Kylie & Dannii perform "Kids" together. Dannii totally steals the show with her blazing talent and unbridled sex appeal! - watch here
• Dannii mimes "Who Do You Love Now?" brilliantly on German TV. Dannii has never looked so alluring! - watch here
• Tranny Dannii sings "So Under Pressure" at an English beach party - watch here
• Dannii sings a medley of hits live on "Sunrise". "Put The Needle On It" sounds surprisingly good live. Shame about the dancing - watch here
• A biting "I Begin To Wonder" spoof. I love the part about being haunted by Kylie's butt. Classy! - watch here
• Gina Riley's fabulous Dannii impersonation, singing "Famous Sister" - watch here
• Kylie surprises Dannii at GAY nightclub - watch here
• My favourite Dannii video is without a doubt "This Is It". I have even been known to do the dance routine when sufficiently intoxicated. Sad but true. Note that Julian McMahon is looking sexy as always - watch here
• MaryCherry, fabulous NZ drag queen and Don'tStopThePop contributor, throws it down to Dannii's "Perfection". MaryCherry is the diva in the middle. That is some seriously hot fan action, Aaron! - watch here
• It's time for some mash-ups! I love this: Dannii Vs Garbage. It actually sounds rather good - watch here
• "Got To Be For The Record" mashes Kylie's "Got To Be Certain" with Dannii's "For The Record". I like it alot. The clip is rather lovely too. The people making these things should be working in the industry - watch here
• "Got To Be Love & Kisses" another Kylie Vs Dannii match. Dannii wins! - watch here
• The best mash-up, rather surprisingly, is Dannii Vs Justin Timberlake with "Like I Spin You Round". This clip is a thing of beauty and the song is great. In fact, it's better than most professional mixes. My only qualm is Kylie's cameo singing "Can't Get You Out Of My Head"! WTF? But who cares, I still want an MP3! - watch here

If you just have time to watch one clip, make sure it is this. The first time I saw this, it literally took my breath away. This is so fundamentally wrong on so many levels that I now consider it to be a work of utter genius. Dannii sings "Hakuna Matata" to a group of starving, disinterested children in Africa. They may not have food but they sure were entertained!

Don't miss: Dannii performing Hakuna Matata

Dannii In Success Shocker!

We know she has been "really, really ready" for years, but Dannii has finally had some success! The ratings for "Australia's Got Talent" are through the roof, being the fourth most watched program on Australian television. It's time to hurry up and re-release "The Hits & Beyond". Dannii is officially the new Marcia Hines!

Here are last Sunday's ratings for Sydney:

1 UGLY BETTY 1,851 m
2 GREY'S ANATOMY 1,730 m
3 SEVEN NEWS - SUN 1,419 m
4 AUSTRALIA'S GOT TALENT 1,391 m
5 CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION 1,379 m
6 CSI: MIAMI 1,211 m
7 60 MINUTES 1,159 m
8 NATIONAL NINE NEWS SUNDAY 1,157 m
9 20 TO 1 1,142 m
10 PLANET EARTH 1,117 m

For the week:

#1 Ugly Betty
#2 Dancing with the Stars
#3 Grey’s Anatomy
#4 Australia’s Got Talent
#6 Desperate Housewives
#7 Seven News – Sunday
#8 SCU: Serious Crash Unit
#9 Border Security
#10 All Saints
#11 Heroes
#16 Seven News – Monday-Friday
#18 My Name Is Earl
#19 Today Tonight
#20 Lost

I'm so happy that Dannii is well and truly back in the spotlight. How could the show possibly fail when it showcases this kind of amazing talent?!

Just Can't Give You Up - Unreleased

"Just Can't Give You Up" is another of the unreleased "Neon Nights" tracks to leak towards the end of last year. In my opinion, it is the best of the bunch - and I think the other tracks are pretty shit hot! It really is quite hard to fathom how something this oustanding was not even considered good enough to be a "Neon Nights" B-side. I guess the sheer volume of excellent music resulted in a couple of amazing songs falling through the cracks. I find it even more difficult to comprehend why the song was not used for "The Hits & Beyond". Dannii is one of the co-writers, along with Terry Ronald and Ian Masterson, so surely she could have taken it with her to AATW. This is pure gold in comparison to some of the mediocre rubbish she has churned out since signing with her new label. The things I would do to hear the other "Neon Nights" rejects - particularly the songs Dannii recorded with Roger Sanchez! I have my fingers crossed that they will turn up one day.

Download - Just Can't Give You Up

The song has already appeared on youtube and someone has been kind enough to make a clip for it. Watch it here.

Neon Nights: The B-Sides

I have already returned to the deep well of the "Neon Nights" sessions several times for one simple fact - they generated an amazing quantity of stunning pop music. I assume that everyone already owns a copy of "Neon Nights". If you don't it is your duty as a pop fan to order one today. The album is sublime, the leaked tracks have been dynamite and the B-sides are top shelf pop. No wonder Dannii had so much trouble deciding what to put on the album, the sheer volume of excellent music is positively overwhelming.

I have already posted "Est-ce que tu m'aimes encore?", which was the "I Begin To Wonder" B-side in France. The other B-sides are just as outstanding. I've included "Hide & Seek", "Nervous", "Goodbye Song" and the excellent "Neon Nights Megamix" for your listening pleasure. I have also thrown in "Don't Wanna Lose This Groove (Extended Bootleg Mix)" for the lovely Jeroen. It is the best recording Madonna has been involved in since the late 80s. I think my personal favourite is "Nervous", which shows Dannii at her fierce and fabulous best.

Download - Hide & Seek
Download - Nervous
Download - Goodbye Song
Download - Don't Wanna Lose This Groove (Extended Bootleg Mix)
Download - Neon Nights Megamix

Deep Inside Dannii's Box

Just like Celine Dion's heart, Dannii's Dirty Box will go on! I had reached the point a couple of days ago, when I thought I would just swap back to Pop Trash Addicts and be done with all of the loons and Dannii droids. I was starting to get laugh lines reading messages from people pretending to be Dannii's solicitors sent from hotmail addresses like DanniizGurl4Eva and DannEholic. Dannii is a pure slice of heaven but I'm not ready to get wrinkles for her!

But FUCK it. I already had a couple of posts in the works and I'm going to post them. I transformed my humble little Blog into Dannii's Dirty Box with the express purpose of honouring Dannii's return to television and sharing what should be the universal love of all things Dannii. This entire experience has been too much fun to not finish what I started. Again, I'd like to thank everyone for their e-mails and comments.

If you need further proof that not all Dannii fans are moronic nutters, check out this glorious Myspace site:

http://www.myspace.com/prayingdanntiis

I think the Praying Danntiis is the most glorious creation since the infamous Dannii Goose. Respect!

The Wrath Of The Dannii Board

It has come to my attention that Dannii's Dirty Box has upset the powers that be at the Dannii Board. The whole point of the temporary transformation of my Blog was to celebrate and promote Dannii's fabulous career. In just two weeks, I have received more than 30 e-mails from readers telling me that they have seen the light and intend to start building their Dannii collections. That excludes the e-mails and messages from fans (and haters) commenting on the site. I have purposely stayed away from posting album tracks or readily available material because I want people to go out and buy it. If Dannii's record label(s) is unhappy with anything I have posted, they can contact me at trash_lurver@yahoo.com.au and I will remove the offending material. It does sadden me that certain people have nothing better to do than threaten a genuine fan, who has followed Dannii's career with great dedication since the mid-1980s.

It Won't Work Out (Dance Mix) - Unreleased

The second episode of "Australia's Got Talented" was even more tragic than the first! I'm seriously in love with the show and Dannii's attention seeking antics. Dannii looked amazing again this week, wearing an alluring scarf wrapped around her head. Very Norma Desmond! The highlight for me was Dannii's withering response to the crazy guy who played "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" on a vacuum cleaner. That's classy television in anyone's language! I guess, I should get back to the music.

A wonderful thing happened late last year, when several songs from the "Neon Nights" sessions finally started to leak. "It Won't Work Out" should be instantly familiar to anyone who owns a copy of "Neon Nights", which I assume is all of you! It's the mid-tempo electro ballad that, in my opinion, does not quite gel with the rest of the album. The song is lovely and often cited as a fan favourite but it just seems a bit out of place. I think the leaked dance mix would have been a much better fit. I'd be interested to know if the song began as a ballad or an uptempo number. I like them both but I prefer the fast version. An acoustic version of the song was part of the scrapped "Platinum Collection" tracklisting. Hopefully, it will turn up eventually. I'd love to hear it.

Download - It Won't Work Out (Dance Mix)

The Mysterious Dannii Goose

The Dannii goose is back due to popular demand!

One of the rarest and most mysterious of all waterbirds, the Dannii goose can be found roosting along the East coast of Australia and occasionally, central London. However, the Dannii goose is strongly migratory and spends much of the year breeding and wintering in the warm waters off the Balearic Islands, particularly Ibiza. The Dannii goose is easily distinguished from other varieties of geese due to its strong attraction to dance music and nightclubs. In fact, bird watchers across the globe claim to have witnessed the Dannii goose waddling out of discos in a disorientated manner in the early hours of the morning.

Following a largely vegetarian diet, the Dannii goose is said to be especially partial to champagne and mixed drinks. In times of drought, the Dannii goose has even been known to steal GBH from clubbers in order to sustain itself. Behaviourally, the Dannii goose most closely resembles the Central American tree sloth and Bonobo chimpanzee. Like the tree sloth, the Dannii goose has been known to do nothing for months at a time, while it shares the Bonobo's habit of mating with anything that moves, regardless of gender. If you spot this majestic creature in the wild, approach it with extreme caution.

These pictures are brought to you with thanks to MoistSexBox.

Do The Capsizing Boat!

Alyson recently brought my attention to the most amazing Dannii article ever published. Only Dannii could spark a new dance trend while watching people drown. If anyone needs proof of Dannii's skill for innovation, then this is it!

Fans miss Dannii's cue
July 29 2003

Dannii Minogue sparked a new dance trend at an outdoor concert when she tried to alert the crowd to a capsized boat in the lake behind them.

The Australian pop star began pointing frantically over the heads of the audience as she saw the boat overturn at the water park in Warwickshire, England.

But the fans thought it was a new dance move and began joining in, pointing back at her, British newspaper the Daily Star reported.

The sailor managed to scramble ashore without help and was embarrassed to discover Minogue, 32, had seen his mishap.

"I really enjoyed performing here today but there was a moment in my act when, yes, I was a bit concerned," Minogue said.

"Someone sailing on one of the lakes capsized. I wanted to stop singing and shout: 'He's capsized! Help him! Help him!' Then I saw him come up and he seemed to be doing fine."

Teenage fan Gemma Jones, 13, said she had not realised anything was wrong.

"I saw her doing this strange move which was not like her normal dance routines. I thought it might be some new sort of dance craze and started copying," Jones said.

"Every time she pointed out at us, we pointed back at her."

Unreleased Dannii - By Way Of Denise Lopez

The "Neon Nights" sessions were such a fertile period in Dannii's career that the vaults of London Records are positively bursting with unreleased Dannii material. Some of the songs have finally started to leak, while others have been re-recorded and used by other acts. One such act is the Swedish sensation, Denise Lopez. Denise not only got her hands on two of Dannii's fabulous rejects but somehow got Dannii to sing back-up vocals on one of them.

The tracks in questions, "Karma Sutra" and "Sex Dice", are both excellent and both written by Dannii. "Karma Sutra" is the song that features Dannii on backing vocals and sounds like a slightly more poptastic version of "Vibe On". "Sex Dice" is even better. I love the tacky lyrics about rolling "a 6 and a 9". Classy. This song is so Danniitastic, I can almost picture her singing it! Both songs would have slotted in nicely with the other tracks on "Neon Nights" due to their catchy beats and slutastic lyrics. If only Dannii had released something akin to the hyper-edition of Kylie's "Fever", which included all the B-sides and other goodies. Instead, Dannii's hard work has passed on to delightful lady pictured above. I'm not sure what the Denise Lopez story is, all I know is that she comes from Sweden and releases Dannii's sloppy seconds. I love her already!

A big thanks to Blogland's most infamous Dannii hater, Robpop, for sending me the tracks. We all know he has a secret Dannii shrine hidden away behind his sling and harness!

Download - Karma Sutra
Download - Sex Dice

Oh No, She Didn't!

It's hard to believe that an international style icon like Dannii could ever leave the house looking anything less than perfect. It may be almost impossible to believe, but Dannii has her share of bad hair days and run ins with the fashion police. Here are some of the moments that remind us that Dannii is human after all.

There really is no excuse...

Not even Dannii can pull off ginga serial killer chic

Put down the pipe, darlin'

The last time Dannii hires Deirdre Halliwell as a stylist

We know you like fish fingers but is that any reason to wear a tracksuit?

Dannii auditions for "Showgirls 2"