Friday, 9 May 2008

5 Reasons Why Dannii Is Better Than Jesus

Devoted Droids know that Dannii is our true saviour, but why, you might ask? Well, here are 5 indisputable reasons:

1. Dannii Loves The Gays
For years, Dannii has shown her love and devotion to The Gays by performing, being a fag hag and a devoted carpet muncher! She's set her sights on being the most fabulous and fierce Gay Icon in high heels!

2. Dannii Has Better Hair
Jesus' hair is all greasy and disgusting while Dannii's hair looks nice and you want to touch it like that. Get lost, Jesus -you greasy hippie!

3. Dannii Has Holidays
Unlike Jesus, who claims to be our 'saviour', Dannii knows how to take a rest from it all and remains more sane for it! Jesus is just raving mad and has unreasonable demands, unlike Dannii! If it's fun, Dannii's with it - if it's fun, Jesus is against it! Go fuck yourself Jesus!

4. Dannii Gives Us More
Dannii gave us a drug-taking game to "Coconut" - what did Jesus give us? Cheap-ass wine! Boo Jesus! Hurray Dannii!

5. Dannii Loves Anal
Like most of her fans, Dannii loves to do it up the bum (no babies) as indicated on her stunning anthem "Gone". Jesus, on the other hand, is all about fertility and stuff. What a fucking bore! Who would want to follow him anyway?

These are just a few reasons why Dannii should be your true saviour instead of Jesus Christ, but there's many more and I expect to see some of the reasons in the comment field!


Mike said...

I see you've been hitting the vodka again, Tommie! Thanks for the tasteful and informative post. I particularly agree with point 2, Jesus has no excuse for still having hair like Michael Bolton!

Magical Froggy said...

But could Dannii really feed five thousand people with just two fishes? I dread to think how she would give them all a fishy taste.

Trashtastic Aussie said...

I demand a Dannii-style "10 Commandments!"

Chicago_Sexbox said...

I love it! LOL

Jay said...

numbar threee iz da bezt!

Anonymous said...

I second the 10 Commandments too, lol...

mel mel said...

You should have saved this post for the easter holidays! But then I guess that would contradict point number three.

Otherwise, I was rolling on the floor laughing!

Anonymous said...

I love the point about Dannii having better hair... this is such a funny article and i love it.. lmao xx

Anonymous said...

actually it's not funny at all, making fun of a religious figure such as Jesus Christ and comparing him to a cheap bimbo called Dannii is a disgrace to humanity!!!
You should go f@ck yourself instead for being blasphemous and stupid!!! Shame on you a$$hole!!!!!

Derrick XXX said...

I believe this is too much. I didn't find it amusing or very funny.

I'm not religious or have very strong points on it but I think having to name Christ or/and mock any being for that matter should be left alone.

This post is utterly uncalled for and head on evil.

I don't support this crap.

Derrick XXX