Stop Press - Dannii Not A Flop!!

In a stunning development, I have to report that Dannii did NOT a flop! After the shocking absence of "Touch Me Like That" from this week's ARIA singles chart, I brazenly christened Dannii the new Queen of flops. Fans rumbled that the single might not have been chart eligible but I initially dismissed it as Dannii droid paranoia. I was wrong and they were right. I questioned ARIA and received an e-mail from them this morning stating that "Touch Me Like That" was ineligible to chart as a single due to the tracklisting. The representative also stated that sales were "healthy"! I have no idea what that means but I assume "Touch Me Like That" would have at least scraped into the top 100. $ucce$$.

I should have had more faith in Holidannii's massive popularity but the question remains why the single included so many remixes. It's ridiculous that Dannii gets punished for being generous to fans but there's still no explanation why 13 tracks were included in the first place. Central Station cater to DJs and often include 10 or more remixes - they must have known from past experience that the single would be ineligible to chart. The charts are of little relevance to a niche club release but Dannii is a commercial artist who needs to appear on radio and tv chart countdowns. What is going on? File this under: It could only happen to Dannii!

Meanwhile, it seems I wasn't the only one questioning ARIA about Dannii's chart performance. The fat bitches at Sydney Confidential found the time to whip up a nasty little article praising the song but questioning Dannii's involvement. As much as I love Jason Nevins, "Touch Me Like That" would be nothing without Dannii's heavenly vocals and S&M tranny get up! Check out the article below.