Sunday, 11 May 2008

Club Disco - The DDB Review

If some mental midget hadn't decided to make "Club Disco" chart ineligible, Dannii would be currently celebrating a top 30 ARIA chart placing for the first time since "Neon Nights". It's extremely annoying that Dannii's astonishing chart $ucce$$ has been thwarted once again but we can take heart in the knowledge that our icon is still very much at the forefront of popular culture. I'm sure you've all had the opportunity to listen to "Club Disco" by now, so I thought it was time to review this modern day masterpiece with my fellow DDB contributors. The results are very interesting and prove beyond a doubt that not everyone shares my exquisite taste in Dannii! Let us know what you think.

1. Touch Me Like That

Tommie - 9/10


An energetic and fun club romp. Despite the mediocre chart performance, this is a Dannii classic!

Jay - 5/10


slightly irritating and catchy but a poor choice for the opener.

Natty - 10/10

I'm biased. I love this song. I can't fault it. I'm just pissed that this song wasn't bigger. I don't know what's wrong with people!

Magical Froggy - 8/10

On first listen I was mortified that Dannii was using this of all tracks to ca$h in on her X Factor exposure (the less said about its chart performance the better). Over time, however, this has grown a lot on me and is definitely one of Dannii's better reworked club tracks. The lyrics are cheeky, the beats are cheesy, and all together this is one fun pop concoction. And seeing Dannii spin in a tacky plastic diamond, I now feel I can die a contented person!

Mike - 10/10

A slice of club heaven made even more glorious by the magnificent trannytastic video. My second favourite song of 2007.

Average score - 8.4/10

2. Feel Like I Do (JCA Remix)

Tommie - 7/10

Slightly overrated by fans, but that doesn't make it a bad track. Makes you want to get heavy with Dannii.

Jay - 7/10

A saucy floorfiller, what Dannii does best and should have remained the opening track as it was on UK itunes.

Natty - 6/10

Feels like there’s something lacking in Dannii’s vocals. I don’t know what it is. Do love the remix.

Magical Froggy - 7/10

I like this song, but it is betrayed by its B-Side origins. The vocals are good, the production is great, but it just feels like it never quites get to where it should. Good, but Dannii is capable of better.

Mike - 10/10

The B-side to "So Under Pressure" is a sublime slice of dance-pop and certainly ranks as one of my favourite Dannii songs. A perfect track.

Average score - 7.4/10

3. Perfection (12" Mix)

Tommie - 8/10

Bad lyrics + tacky sampling = heaven.

Jay - 7/10

Cheap, cheerful and fabulous!

Natty - 9/10

Very much like TMLT, I can't fault the track. It’s perfection. No pun intended!

Magical Froggy - 4/10

Quite why it was felt necessary to include the extended version here is beyond me, the radio edit would have been more than sufficient. I will always hold a grudge against this track, seeing as it ended Dannii's run of being playlisted by Radio 1 and hence her chart struggles ever since. The song itself was OK, but Dannii really should have quit the club instrumentals game by this stage.

Mike - 9/10

The second single from "The Hits & Beyond" lives up to its title but there are better mixes of the track than this extended version. Fabulous, nonetheless.

Average score - 7.4/10

4. You Won't Forget About Me

Tommie - 8/10

Another club track and Dannii's first single with AATW. Makes you want to get drunk with your favourite hags and throw flowers around.

Jay - 5/10

But you will forget about this club instrumental with added Dannii lyrics & vocals, better as a stand alone track. However, the stunning video performance gets 8/10.

Natty - 5/10

A song I truly have to be in the mood for.

Magical Froggy - 9/10

What isn't there to love about this? Dannii's falsetto vocals in the chorus really showcase her stunning natural talent, and the repetitive hook totally worms its way into your head. If Dannii is going to insist on her reworked club anthems, maybe its time she dug through the rest of Flower Power's back catalogue.

Mike - 7/10

Dannii's most recent top 10 hit is one of my least favourite singles but works nicely as an album track.

Average score - 6.8/10

5. Love Fight

Tommie - 4/10

Overhyped and demo-ish. Next!

Jay - 0/10

Vile Shite!

Natty - 10/10

Whoever didn’t allow this to be released as a single needs a good kick in the head. Imagine the video!!

Magical Froggy - 3/10

After all the hype surrounding this track I was feverishing awaiting another anthem on a par with WDYLN or SILWY. Instead we got this crap about Dannii wanting to get smacked up by her lover. Um, OK. The frenetic production does my head in, and I just find the whole thing an embarassment.

Mike - 6.5/10

I'm in awe of Dannii's songwriting ability. Who else could write such an upbeat, catchy anthem about domestic violence? Unfortunately, Dannii's visionary lyrics are let down by some of the worst production to emerge from AATW (and that's saying something!)

Average score - 4.7/10

6. I'm Sorry

Tommie - 8/10

How on earth could the previous track be chosen over this for Hits & Beyond? I smell foul play! I bet that evil hag Madonna pulled some strings to get this pulled so that she could release "Sorry" later that year!

Jay - 2/10

So you should be! *skips*

Natty - 5/10

Unfortunatly I find it somewhat bland. I think it’s just a bit repetitive.

Magical Froggy - 8/10

The first truly new song on Club Disco, and this is a winner. The hypnotic bass, tight percussion, heartfelt lyrics and addictive chorus combine to make a potential Dannii classic.

Mike - 9/10

The first new/unreleased song on "Club Disco" is stunning. Written by two alumni of Max Martin's famed Cheiron studio, "I'm Sorry" positively throbs with energy. This poptastic floorfiller should have been a single.

Average score - 7/10

7. Gone

Tommie - 10/10

Dannii is one step away from sampling Moroder, but I love it as much as Dannii seems to love anal sex!

Jay - 9/10

Beyond Fabulous!

Natty - 8/10

I keep wondering if this track samples another song. I’m thinking Donna Summer. It sounds so familiar. This also would’ve been a pumping track had someone bothered to release it at the time of Hits and Beyond.

Magical Froggy - 5/10

Another filler from The Hits And Beyond. The stilted vocal rhythm of the chorus sounds awkward, the lyrics are borderline crap ('fill me up with your love' is hardly original), and Dannii sounds weak at the upper end of her vocal range. One to skip.

Mike - 9/10

One of the best beyond tracks on "The Hits & Beyond", "Gone" has lost none of its sparkle. Top notch dance-pop.

Average score - 8.2/10

8. So Under Pressure (Album Version)

Tommie - 9/10

Touching and significant. Poor Dannii!

Jay - 9.5/10

Beyond Fabulous! An epic that would score full marks if it was the Radio Edit or Extended Mix as the extra "I'm Gonna Shout" bit breaks the flow of the track.

Natty - 8/10

The song has seriously grown on me since its release!

Magical Froggy - 10/10

One of my all time favorite Dannii anthems! Knowing the story behind the lyrics gives them enhanced feeling, but even without that the track is still a killer. The beat, the schizophrenic strings, the pizzicato production, all come together to make magic. I can listen to this for hours and still find new things in it.

Mike - 10/10

Dannii's haunting ode to Kylie's cancer battle redefined the bounds of dance music. Never before has such moving subject matter been accompanied by such a wicked beat. Utterly majestic.

Average score - 9.3/10

9. Good Times (Forty Four's 7" Mix)

Tommie - 6/10

Good enough, but forgettable.

Jay - 4/10

Another cheap and cheerful number that is still quite forgettable and the vocals on this mix are too weak.

Natty - 7.5/10

The songs that originally featured on the Hits and Beyond were beyond fantastic. Another track that could’ve been a great single!

Magical Froggy - 6/10

THAB filler. The production is irritating, but Dannii gives a good mellow vocal.

Mike - 7/10

A rather pointless remix, which fails to improve on the original. I wish they had left this one alone.

Average score - 6.1/10

10. Sunrise

Tommie - 7/10

Dannii's tribute to those early drunken Ibiza mornings, so of course I like it.

Jay - 2/10

Crap.

Natty - 6.5/10

My least fave track of the H&B “beyond” tracks.

Magical Froggy - 7/10

Besides the chorus, there is little to admire in this track. The 'popping' noise that runs throughout in the background kind of reminds of me someone playing clip-clop with coconut shells, and that's not a good thing.

Mike - 7.5/10

Another "Hits & Beyond" album track. Originally one of my least favourite AATW offerings, "Sunrise" has grown on me immensely. The song loses a point for reminding me of Kylie's vile "Rendezvous At Sunset" every time I listen to it.

Average score - 6/10

11. He's The Greatest Dancer (LMC Edit)

Tommie - 5/10

Limp. I don't mind Dannii doing covers, but this has no energy. Needs to be trashier!

Jay - 5/10

As a one off, acceptable but as an album track is annoying. Can do better.

Natty - 8/10

Dancing with the staaaaaaaaaaaaaaars! The song shot up after Dannii’s wonderful performance on DWTS.

Magical Froggy - 10/10

When I first heard Dannii was covering this (4 ha NumBAr WUn CildRan iNe NeID SIngFAL!!!1!) I thought this was going to be the final nail in her pop coffin. I shouldn't have doubted the Queen of Clubs though, she really took this song and made it her own (especially with her flawless live performance!). It's a shame she never gave this a proper UK release, I'm sure this would have comfortably nestled in between Dannii's other Top 30 'hits'.

Mike - 9.5/10

Fuck off, haters! Dannii's #37 smash hit is epic and the LMC edit remains a triumph. Only Holidannii could improve on Sister Sledge.

Average score - 7.5/10

12. I Can't Sleep At Night

Tommie - 8/10

On first listen it's a bit boring, but sticks on you after a while.

Jay - 10/10

Beyond fabulous!

Natty - 8.5/10

Definatly a highlight on the album, even if it has featured on ‘Hits and Beyond’ and probably countless other cheaptastic albums.

Magical Froggy - 10/10

The fact that this is one of my highest played tracks on my iPod says enough. This is one of Dannii's hidden gems, and why she shelved it to release Perfection is beyond me. I love the fun and simple lyrics, Jewels & Stone's poptastic production and even the video (even though some deride it).

Mike - 10/10

The best non-single from "The Hits & Beyond" - everything about this gorgeous anthem is exquisite. The production is excellent, the lyrics are saucy and Dannii's voice is butter! Throw in the brilliant Afterlife remixes and smutty video and you have one of the best singles never released.

Average score - 9.3/10

13. I Will Come To You

Tommie - 7/10

Like "Love Fight" it has a demo-ish quality to it, but it's a grower.

Jay - 9.5/10

Beyond Fabulous! Really suits Dannii's voice and an amazing track - easily the best of the "new" tracks.

Natty - 4/10

It’s a bit shit really.

Magical Froggy - 6/10

Again this is track that never quite gets to where it should. The dirty bass, crisp beat and the sweeping synths are all present and correct, but probably to the extent where they drown out the meandering vocals.

Mike - 9.5/10

The second new/unreleased track isn't as instant as "I'm Sorry" but it's just as good. Penned by Nine Woodford and Rob Davis, "I Will Come To You" is surprisingly dark and moody. The intro is slightly jarring but the chorus is gorgeous. I particularly love the lyric "you are my home and home is where the heart is". This could be a real grower.

Average score - 7.2/10

14. I've Been Waiting For You

Tommie - 6/10

The 90s called and they want their track back.

Jay - 3/10

I've been waiting for you - So I can press the "Skip" button again. Horribly dated.

Natty - 6/10

I bet Dannii plays this everytime she releases a new single. I’ve been waiting for a #1 hit that’s not on the dance charts.

Magical Froggy - 8/10

Another track scraped off a B-Side, but one that stands up amongst the others on Club Disco. Dannii's whispered vocals are again at risk of being drowned out, but there's no denying the catchiness of the chorus.

Mike - 7/10

The B-side to "Perfection" is Dannii by the numbers. Decent filler.

Average score - 6/10

15. Round The World

Tommie - 7/10

Dannii promises to travel round the world for her man. Or something. Could be better, but not bad.

Jay - 6/10

Decent filler.

Natty - 8/10

I bet Dannii has this on maximum rotation while she’s off jet-setting around the world on holiday.

Magical Froggy - 9/10

One of the better new tracks exclusive to this release. The stacatto beat and Dannii's vocal experimentation come together with tremendous effect. More like this please Ms. Minogue!

Mike - 8.5/10

A collaboration with Terry "Tezza" Ronald and Ian Masterson, "Round The World" is a burst of old school Dannii - unfortunately it's not the best example of what this fabulous trio can achieve. "Round The World" isn't awful by any means, it just sounds half finished. I love the throbbing guitar line but I have a feeling this was a work in progress. A treat for fans.

Average score - 7.7/10

16. Xanadu

Tommie - 10/10

Words cannot describe. For once the hype was true.

Jay - 8/10

Stunning take on this ONJ classic that really suits Dannii's voice and style.

Natty - 8.5/10

Love, love, love the arrangement!

Magical Froggy - 5/10

Having never really been aware of Olivia's original until recently, I wasn't sure what the fuss was about this cover. I heard Dannii's version first and found it to be a laconic affair; over long and hardly the camp anthem I was expecting. The production is 'interesting', but that is about all really. The 'popped up' live version, however, is wonderful. If only there was a studio version of that (outside of Nathan's iPod that is).

Mike - 10/10

I've been eagerly awaiting Dannii's version of Olivia Newton-John's 80s classic since Dannii first announced that she had covered it. The original is one of my favourite tracks of all time and I was prepared to be sorely disappointed by this cover. I should have had more faith in Dannii's infinite musical wisdom because her "Xanadu" completely re-constructs the song, creating something wonderfully new and different. Dannii's "Xanadu" is a sparse, dark and languid piece of electro brilliance that deserves to be heard.

Average score - 8.3/10

17. You Won't Forget About Me (Afterlife Lounge Mix Edit)

Tommie - 9/10

Chill-out Dannii for the last two tracks of the album. I slightly prefer the "You Want Forget About Me" mix, but both are bliss.

Jay - 4/10

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Natty - 7.5/10

This sounds like something you’d get in some D-grade porn movie, bless Dannii.

Magical Froggy - 6/10

Pleasant enough, but not exactly worthy of inclusion on the album and should have been left on the single.

Mike - 9/10

Afterlife should be contractually obliged to provide a lounge remix of every Dannii single! I much prefer this sultry mix of "You Won't Forget About Me" to the original. Perfect chill out music.

Average score - 7.1/10

18. I Can't Sleep At Night (Afterlife Lounge Mix)

Tommie - 8/10

Chill-out Dannii for the last two tracks of the album. I slightly prefer the "You Want Forget About Me" mix, but both are bliss.

Jay - 8/10

Fabulous and haunting version of this epic!

Natty - 5.5/10

Another porn sounding mix. Still prefer YWFAM though.

Magical Froggy - 7/10

The better of the two Afterlife mixes, and it really allows Dannii's vocals to shine away from the heavy production of the studio version. The restructuring of the harmonies also allows this song to be heard in a new light.

Mike - 10/10

This is Afterlife's finest moment and one of Dannii's best ever remixes. The lush instrumentation is a thing of beauty. A perfect way to finish off a truly magnificent album.

Average score - 7.7/10

Do You Believe Me Now (iTunes Bonus Track)

Tommie - 9/10

Ibiza Dannii strikes again! Sadly, this is only a iTunes bonus track, which is a shame because this is potential single release.

Jay - 3/10

Rather bland.

Natty

Did not review.

Magical Froggy - 10/10

Boo hiss at Roger Sanchez for sticking his oar in over this track getting a full release! One of the best tracks Dannii has ever recorded; an emotional vocal delivery, a reverberating bassline and crisp beats come together perfectly. The album is worth it for this track alone, shame then that it's not actually on it.

Mike - 10/10

Dannii's much anticipated collaboration with Roger Sanchez is superb. This sunny dance anthem is so much sweeter than I expected. The lyrics are cute and Dannii sounds more lovely than ever - if that's even possible! I love the male backing vocals in the breakdown. The mid-tempo pace is also a great introduction to the lounge tracks that follow. Well worth the wait!

Average score - 8/10

In conclusion, "Club Disco" is fucking brilliant. Hurry up and buy it!

8 comments:

Trashtastic Aussie said...

I don't have the bonus track, hence me not reviewing it. I shouldn't have said anything, at least then I could appear cheap and lazy.

Jay said...

I was too generous with my review of Vile Shite, though even "negative infinity" wouldn't be able to describe just how dire it is...

Mike said...

I love the fact that "I Can't Sleep At Night" and "So Under Pressure" got our highest scores and that "Love Shit" was the only track to score less than 5/10. It would have been even lower if Natty had some taste!

Trashtastic Aussie said...

I loooooooooooooooooove Love Shite! It's so tacky that it's fabulous!

The video could've even been even tackier, like the bit where she's singing about being the student. She could've dressed up in a sluttified school uniform that are most often seen in porn movies, flashing the baps! And then screaming matches between some hot guy, only for them to jump in the sack 30seconds later in a hot fucking makeup session!

Jamie_movietrip said...

LOL I love your reviews. Poor Love Fight, it's not that bad. I love Dannii's recent whoring of her demos *cough*, I mean unreleased gems! She's so generous. Maybe now that the Aussie's will buy any old shit she peddles, she might get a proper record deal again, and get away from the increasingly dreadful AATW.

tommie said...

To be honest, if Love Fight hadn't been hailed as the best thing since sliced bread and then came out sounding like a nasty demo about domestic abuse, people might've been kinder towards it.

undisco_me said...

I started writing in here, but it grew too long (as it were) so I saved it for my own blog (sorry for the plug, Dannii only allows butt plugs I know).. I'm surprised at the winners, but So Under Pressure is quite adroit sounding in a way that some others are quite flimsy beyond projecting whatever persona onto them.

I'd say Feel Like I Do, DoYouwannaBuggerMenNow? and I'm Sorry should have been on the Hits & Beyond farse - I'd really like for Dannii to sit down with Mike and co and give some honest answers in a group interview.

Dannii's Delights! said...

Love Shite is one of my favorite Dannii songs ever! H8TARS!!!

And I must say that I think using the 12" Mix of Perfection was actually a good idea as it seems to flow with the album very well. Something about the extra instrumental makes it work IMO.