Tuesday, 20 May 2008

The Evil Dannii Witch!

Sorry for the lack of updates but I just got back from spending a couple of days in Alice fucking Springs for work. Seriously, I was not built for red dust and desert! After dragging my sorry carcass home from the airport, all I could think about was sitting down in front of the TV with a box of Tim Tams to revel in Dannii's judging glory. I wish I had done some ironing instead - anything would have been preferable to witnessing the despicable display Dannii put on tonight. One of the many reasons I love Dannii is her genuine sweetness but I think the poor company she's been keeping lately must be starting to rub off on her. There's no easy way to say this - Dannii was a complete cunt on Australia's Got Talent tonight!

Our beloved icon was in a foul mood from the very beginning. I think some vindictive individual must have told Dannii the sales total of "The Hits & Beyond" in comparison to "Ultimate Kylie" because she looked like she had just swallowed a cup of lemon juice from the get go. I tried to turn a blind eye when Dannii dismissed the Russian whistler, made a snide remark about the performing dog, rejected the smiling tap dancer, berated the piano prodigy for her stagecraft and voted off a clearly talented brother and sister duo. However, I think she crossed the line when she tore strips off a 9 year old girl for not having a good enough voice to front her family's band. It was downright unpleasant to see Danielle burst into tears and be comforted by her father after being ripped a new arsehole by Ms Minogue. She, of all people, should be able to display greater sensitivity towards child performers. I hate to say it but I'm glad the crowd booed and jeered the Dannii witch. She acted like a spiteful old troll and let's face it, Dannii shouldn't be criticising anyone for their inability to keep pitch. I give you Exhibit A:

I rest my case. I mean, who does she think she is? Melissa Tkautz?

11 comments:

Kazama said...

Finally, a picture of Dannii where the heavy eye make-up works!

Anonymous said...

lol, hilarious post again. I loved the line about "Ultimate Kylie". Continue with these updates to return Dannii's Dirty Box to it's former glory.

tommie said...

*gasp* How very dare you! Dannii has no time to waste her judging talents on mediocre acts and has every right to make 9-year-old brats cry! I'm so angry at you right now!

Johnny D said...

I don't watch AGT, to be honest it makes me cringe. I can't believe that Dannii-droids think this kind of reality karaoke is actually a step up career-wise for Dannii, but THANKS for calling out the horrid performance of Xanadu. The forum fans think this is a fabulous performance and have the hide to state its better the Olivia's rendition live. The pitch problems are horrendous and the high notes are excruciating.

Dannii looks great, but thats where it ends. I sat through the entire It Takes Two finale to watch this (I'll never get those hours back) and my partner laughed at me for being a Dannii fan. It's a shocker.

Dannii's time would've been better spent rummaging through club instrumentals and/or doodling versus to warble over the top. Or looking for the Space Cowboy Mix of TMLT.

randyj said...

what the fuck are Tim Tams.

Anonymous said...

LOL! This is more like it DDB!

I totally agree. Dannii appeared agitated and was narky with all the contestants. I also believe she went too far with that little girl. The only act she praised was the burlesque dancer..no comment!!

Chris

xxx

Anonymous said...

Maybe she had the painters in? Or she's pissed because Jupiter didn't call her back?

Heavy Crisco xx

Trashtastic Aussie said...

Tim Tams = the most orgasmic chocolate biscuit in the history of the world. They're multiple orgasms if done in a Tim Tam Slam.

Dannii's Delights! said...

Tim Tam Slam? LMAO :P

Poor Dannii being rendered as a witch :'(

Jay said...

Dannii has clearly been taking lessons in people skills from the VILE a-dulta-erous SLUT Dulta Good-Rim!

Justin said...

What a cunt.