Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Dannii's Flop Is Front Page News!

Oh dear! Dannii's lack of chart $ucce$$ with "Touch Me Like That" has become front page news in the UK. In a hateful spray, the Mirror labels Dannii's stunning anthem "an embarrassing flop" and describe her first day sales of 1,500 as "pitiful"! Well, fuck them. Hopefully Dannii will put on a brave face for Saturday's X Factor and ignore any snide remarks from the cunts sitting on either side of her. Dannii is an international icon with a successful 30 year career in show business. She has nothing left to prove! Read the full article here. Oh and I love how Dannii makes headlines even when she flops!

On the X Factor panel she's quick to tell pop hopefuls if their singing is hopeless. But judge Dannii Minogue - who berates wannabes for warbling out of tune - may not be so hasty to criticise now, if her new single's performance is anything to go by. We can reveal that her latest musical offering, Touch Me Like That, is an embarrassing flop which is unlikely to even break into the Top 40. Poor sales mean that the single is set to scrape in at a pitiful No.43, according to midweek charts. Oh dear...

Worse still for Kylie's kid sister, it has failed to make it on to the all important Radio 1 playlist. Sadly for Dannii, it seems few would touch Touch Me Like That with a bargepole. You'd think that with her high profile on X Factor the single would be flying off the shelves. Certainly Dannii's publicity people had high hopes that her appearances on the show would propel the single into the Top 10.

The desperate flunkeys even plug the programme in their breathy press release, which also describes the song with Jason Nevins as an "electro epic". Some epic. It has shifted barely more than 1,500 copies since it went on sale in the shops this week. It has even been available digitally seven days earlier, but still no one was buying.

Tragically for Dannii, the track is being trounced by reissues from such veterans as Shakin Stevens, Wizzard, Wham! and Phil Collins. No doubt Dannii's pop humiliation will bring a smile to the faces of fellow judges Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh. On the hit ITV1 show last Saturday Louis blasted Dannii - who is mentor to Rhydian Roberts and Leon Jackson - for saying that his finalist, Niki Evans, had sung out of tune. Dannii, 36, told Niki: "I watched the tape from last week and you were completely out of tune." Louis, who was spitting-mad, hit back live on air, saying: "Dannii, singing out of tune? Ho ho!" Ouch...

Sharon's not Dannii's biggest fan either. The pair had a to-do when the live finals began and there has been no love lost between them since. Neither she nor Louis will be in any mood to spare Dannii's feelings. Although Simon Cowell, who is her mentor, will be fighting her corner. A show source says: "Knowing Sharon and Louis they'll make it their mission to keep reminding her because it winds her up so much. "But Simon is very protective of Dannii and will no doubt be reassuring her that she's wonderful."

8 comments:

Miss Heide Von Binterschlappen said...

I hope the haytahazzz make this front page news over here - if it is I shall send a copy to nathensays for Dannii to sign....

I knew this was going to happen the second TMLT was mentioned - the silly cow should realise that after 15 years of FLOPS, she can't sell records with her name alone: she has to go out and PROMOTE the bloody thing. The second she decided to bugger off to Ibiza to top up her tan instead of promoting TH&B was the final nail in her career coffin. If even she can't be arsed with her "greatest hits" then why should the general public be arsed with her desperate attempt to cash in on the X-Factor?

Mike said...

Hardly 15 years of flops - her last 7 singles have all been top 20 hits in the UK (5 of them top 10 hits)!

However, I agree about Dannii's unique approach to promotion (ie. doing nothing).

undisco_me said...

With all the effort it takes to stand there whilst a minimum of two lesbo-dancers gyrate up against her, Dannii's friends and family won't let her do any Xtra promotion for this incase she lapses into a coma.

I've bought the tracks online and shall purchase the physical on Saturday.

The next X-Factor will just be unbearable to watch - it's really not nice not knowing how nasty that vile Louis is going to be. Mind you, we'd all be the same if we looked as disgusting as him: that flacid, puffy face of his is just revolting.

denniii4eva said...

haTERZZZZ!!!!!!!! :@
hatarzzz all ova da place¡¡¡¡1
go dennii! dan to win xfactor plz send sms tell your m8tes or summat.
pls visit da luvly clubdicso 4 all da latest info, no haytazz allowd lolz!

daniz_boy said...

omg ur al h8trs dani is the qeen of clubs its not danis fault the dont cont all her sales nathen says thair was a mistak ur al loosers lmao

tommiedroid said...

It's set to chart higher than German Bold Italic, so it must be a hit for our Dan-Dan! I refuse to believe in this floppage!

Mike said...

Even at her lowest moment, Dannii still manages to outdo Kylie. Bless!

Poddyme said...

One of the best dance tunes this year, topped 2 of the club charts, thats were Dannii is at her best, on the club scene!

Hardly a flop with the last 15 single all reaching number one on the club charts, and thats with no promotion. Im in contact with Dannii about becoming her William Baker!