Kylie Confirms Simon & Dannii's "Fizzle"!

Desperate Kylie has been using Dannii's global fame for her own sad promotion - yet again! Not content to steal Dannii's thunder by releasing her (admittedly fabulous) album a week before "Touch Me Like That", Kylie is now commenting on poor Dannii's love life for publicity! According to the older Minogue, there is definitely a spark between Dannii and Simon Cowell. Check out Kylie's shameless revelation to Heat magazine below and read the full story here.

Kylie Minogue is CONVINCED Simon Cowell has a secret crush on her little sister, fellow X Factor judge Dannii Minogue. Last week, Simon and Dannii were photographed holding hands and Kylie says the chemistry between the two of them is genuine. “Why wouldn’t Simon fancy Dannii?” Kylie says, adding, “If I’m not mistaken there is definitely a little fizzle there.”

Dannii Dishes The Dirt On Tina Arena!

If you read my other blog you'll be aware of how much I love Tina Arena. Dannii's former Young Talent Time co-star has gone on to have her own very successful music career (Tina is almost as successful in France as Dannii is in Spain!) and the lovely ladies have remained friends. After several years in Europe, Tina has returned to Australia to tour and promote her new album, "Songs Of Love & Loss" (released December 3rd). I've been excited to have Tina back in the country and I'm even more desperate to finally meet the woman after hearing Dannii talk about Tina's filthy mouth on the radio! One of Tina's biggest fans kindly sent me an excerpt from an interview with Dannii and I thought some of you might enjoy hearing Dannii spill the beans on Tina. Dannii makes such a great interviewee - she's so sweet and lovely! A big thank you to Derrick for sharing!


Download - Dannii Dishing The Dirt On Tina Arena

Listening to Dannii talk about Tina put me in a nostalgic mood and I decided to look for some Young Talent Time clips on youtube. During my search I stumbled across an advertisement that Dannii and Tina made for Kambrook heaters - way back in 1984! In my view, this is the best commercial in the history of TV! I can't emphasise enough how gloriously camp and joyous this clip is. You get to see Dannii playing guitar and dancing around dressed as a piece of toast! In case you have trouble recognising them - Dannii is the first girl to have a solo, followed directly by Tina. Kambrook should invite them back for their next campaign!

Spanish Gays In Dannii Buying Frenzy!

Spain is currently in the grip of Dannii mania with homosexuals across the nation rushing out to buy multiple copies of "He's The Greatest Dancer"! Dannii's #1 Spanish fan, Peibols (pictured right), reports that he went on a Dannii spree over the weekend with his friends Bubu and Parker (pictured left). Apparently the saleswoman had no idea who Dannii was (surely that bitch had just arrived in town from some rural backwater!) but the boys were able to double Dannii's Spanish sales by purchasing two copies! Thanks for the picture, you're all very sexy!

On a sad note, "Unleashed" only reached #165 on the Australian album charts! It's a shame but what does the record company expect when they release the album with the same cover and tracklisting as the UK but with no promotion? Poor Dannii. "Touch Me Like That" will be released in Australia on the 20th of January. If more effort isn't put into that release, expect another massive flop.

Dannii Outshines Kylie - Again

One of the highlights of Dannii's amazing "Complete Collection" DVD is her stunning live duet of "Kids" filmed during Kylie's "Showgirl Homecoming" tour. This clip is the pop equivalent of porn - Australia's two greatest divas camping it up on the same stage is almost too good to be true. Unfortunately for poor Kylie, Dannii steals the show with her brilliant vocals and magnetic charisma. The entire crowd is completely mesmerised by beautiful Dannii. In fact, I'm sure they only bought tickets on the off chance of seeing Dannii strut her stuff! My favourite bit is the lusty look on Dannii's face when Kylie sings "I couldn't do what I wanted to do when my lips were dry" and the big finale when they both rock out. I'm surprised Dannii didn't fling Kylie into the crowd to finally enjoy her moment in the sun - maybe next time!

Dannii's X Factor Breakdown

Emotional Dannii was so overcome by Rhydian's (her charge) latest X Factor performance that she was moved to tears. Personally, I think Rhydian is a bit frightening but he must have something going for him if Dannii is that impressed. I love Dannii's over the top reaction. She wears her heart on her sleeve and comes across as the only real person on the judging panel. Dannii also looks stunning and slightly dragtastic in that dress. My favourite bit - "I felt you were singing it personally - you know - to me!"

X Factor Romance & A Spanish Top 10 Hit!

Here is the photographic evidence of Dannii's romantic liaison with Simon Cowell. Poor Dannii looks so embarrassed and Simon looks 300 years old. I think the picture below is much more flattering. Dannii has Simon eating out of the palm of her hand - literally! Meanwhile, Dannii's last single climbs to a new peak in Spain this week. "He's The Greatest Dancer" is now a #9 Spanish smash! $ucce$$!!!

Dannii's Stunning Australian Promotion

Dear friends, you are looking at the sum total of Dannii's promotion for the Australian release of "Unleashed". There have been no press, TV or radio advertisements, no interviews, no nothing - except this fabulous article in "New Weekly". With this kind of stunning promo, expect "Unleashed" to miss the top 100 entirely. I know a collection of scrapped tracks is not exactly a priority release but when will Dannii's Australian record company realise that they have to give something extra to interest Dannii's hardcore fans - most of whom already ordered the UK version? How about a different cover, a bonus remix CD or even a shitty sticker saying "Australian Version". This crap is piss poor! If you are yet to purchase a copy of "Unleashed", please do so from Chaos or download it from iTunes (includes the fabulous bonus track "Viva L'Amour").

Dannii & Simon Sitting In A Tree...

The rumours about Dannii's steamy romance with Simon Cowell could be true! The Herald Sun reports that Dannii and Simon were spotted walking hand in hand, no doubt discussing Dannii's recent chart $ucce$$! Read the whole article here.

SIMON Cowell's long-term girlfriend may be asking her mogul boyfriend some serious questions, after he was spotted this weekend hand in hand with Dannii Minogue.

The pair were spotted together leaving the BBC after Friday night's charity gala Children In Need. Cowell and Minogue have been appearing together on British talent show The X Factor, and Minogue was quoted as reporting that her pop supremo co-star was "very fanciable!"

Minogue is famously single after a string of romances including marriage to Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon and a long romance with Formula 1 star Jacques Villeneuve. Cowell has been involved for several years with model Terri Seymour. He previously dated the singer Sinitta.

H8TRZ!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Queen Of Clubs - Dannii's 13th #1 Club Hit!

All hail the queen of clubs! Dannii continues to make chart history as "Touch Me Like That" becomes her 13th #1 hit on the UK club charts! Suck on that, Kylie!

Here is the full list of Holidannii's #1 club hits:

1997 All I Wanna Do
1997 Everything I Wanted
1998 Disremembrance
2001 Who Do You Love Now?
2002 Put The Needle On It
2003 I Begin To Wonder
2003 Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling
2004 You Won't Forget About Me
2005 Perfection
2006 So Under Pressure
2007 I Can't Sleep At Night
2007 He's The Greatest Dancer
2007 Touch Me Like That

Dannii, we salute you!

A big thanks to Magical Froggy for the amazing picture.

Girl - The Deluxe Edition

I've been so preoccupied with "Club Disco" and "Unleashed" over the past week that I haven't had the opportunity to fully process Dannii's fabulous re-releases. I've decided to focus on the deluxe edition of "Girl" today because it holds a special place in my heart and I honestly believe it is one of the most underrated pop albums of all time. With any luck, Dannii's misunderstood masterpiece will now find a whole new audience via the re-release. I just hope the grotesque dead Dannii cover doesn't turn off too many potential consumers!

"Girl" was a major turning point for Dannii. After the disastrous chart performance and critical mauling of "Get Into You", Dannii's career was at an all time low. She was lampooned in the press for riding on Kylie's coattails, retreated to the abyss of breakfast television and only made headlines by posing for Playboy. Dannii was on a one way track to being the La Toya of the Minogue family until she re-appeared in 1997 with "All I Wanna Do". The song's amazing quality raised as many eyebrows as Dannii's stunning new image. Now a svelte blond with massive tits, Dannii firmly asserted herself as the sexiest Minogue sister and her poptastic music provided a welcome relief to Kylie's late 90s indie experimentation. Despite the success of "All I Wanna Do", "Girl" experienced disappointing sales mostly due to the bizarre choice of "Everything I Wanted" as the album's second single. While Dannii flopped on the mainstream charts, she scored three consecutive #1 club hits in the UK and was warmly received by the gay community in Britain and Australia.

That leads me to my special attachment to "Girl". It was the soundtrack to my coming out. The singles from "Girl" were huge in the gay clubs and my devotion to Dannii was such that I skipped school exams to attend record signings with my new scene friends. LOL. Dannii returned to Australia briefly after "Girl" and became a fixture on the gay scene. It was slightly surreal to see Dannii dancing next to you in clubs and I warmly remember witnessing the spectacle of Dannii being chased across the dancefloor by a feral drag queen at the RHI! "Girl" was the birth of Dannii as a trashy gay icon and the beginning of her reign as the undisputed queen on clubs.

Few pop albums can boast the delicate production and playful experimentation of "Girl". From Xenomania's monster hit "All I Wanna Do" to the hilariously absurd "Everybody Changes Underwater", "Girl" is breathtakingly fun and original. I was very excited to hear the new tracks on the deluxe edition and I'm happy to report that they are suitably fabulous. Here's my review of the previously unreleased tracks:

Movin' Up (Original Extended Mix) - 9/10

"Movin' Up" is equally loved and hated by Dannii fans. Some people think Dannii's cheesy cover version sounds out of place on "Girl", while others like myself revel in Dannii's gloriously upbeat slice of 90s house music. This mix is adorable.

Keep Up With The Good Times - 10/10

The only completely new track on the album is an absolute treat. Written and produced by Xenomania, "Keep Up With The Good Times" is a shocking reminder of how brilliant Brian Higgins used to be before he started churning out the same old rubbish for Girls Aloud and wrote Kylie's worst single in a decade ("Giving You Up"). The music is dated but time hasn't dulled the shiny brilliance of the chorus and uplifting lyrics. It goes without saying that this should have been on the album. A lost classic.

Someone New (Flexifingers Radio Edit) - 10/10

I've always loved the album's Japanese bonus track and I'm ecstatic to finally get an official edit. It doesn't quite capture the magnificence of the original but it's still one of Dannii's finest songs from "Girl". The existence of a radio edit is interesting of itself. The rumour that "Someone New" was once considered as a single might have some truth in it after all.

All I Wanna Do (Trouser Enthusiasts Radio Edit) - 9/10

I love the Trouser Enthusiasts (ie. Dannii's songwriting partners Ian Masterson and David Green). Their remix of Kylie's "Did It Again" is a favourite of mine and their remixes for the likes of Gina G, Donna Summer and Gloria Estefan have all been fagtastic. This amazing mix is no exception.

Disremembrance (Trouser Enthusiasts Radio Edit) - 9/10

For many years, "Disremembrance" was my favourite Dannii track. I blame the camp video clip - gothic Dannii forever! I prefer the pure pop of the album version but this mix has an evocative, darker tone that suits the song perfectly.

Heaven Can Wait (Trouser Enthusiasts Cloud Nine Mix) - 7.5/10

Another Xenomania contribution, "Heaven Can Wait" holds up as one of the loveliest songs on "Girl". This epic mix is at least five minutes too long for my dodgy concentration span but it's still a fun addition to anyone's Dannii collection.

Disremembrance (Full Orechestral 12" Mix) - 8/10

I love the dreamy beginning to this remix. The remainder of the mix is fairly straightforward but just as lovely.

Disremembrance (Twyce As Nyce 1:40am Club Mix) - 5/10

This is a bit of a mess and deconstructs the song to the point where it's barely recognisable. Headache material.

Movin' Up (Gettin' Harder Mix) - 7.5/10

I was gettin' harder by the second listening to this trashy effort. Somebody pass me a glow stick!

Keep Up With The Good Times (Xenomania 12" Mix) - 9/10

The more I hear "Keep Up With The Good Times", the more I love it. This mix is a spectacular hands in the air dancefloor anthem, only slightly marred by some dated voice effects. Vintage Dannii!

Touch Me Like That - The Cover!

The official cover for "Touch Me Like That" has finally been unveiled and, quite frankly, I don't know what to think! I love the fact that she's stolen Celine Dion's wig and is wearing something La Toya Jackson threw out in 1985 - but what the fuck is going on with the scary drag make-up? And don't even get me started on the cheap font and lazy, white background. I really wish Dannii would consider using the lovely cover below instead.

Dannii Abused By Audience Member

Poor Dannii is having a bad week. Firstly, evil Louis Walsh questions Dannii's chart credibility and now an audience member has abused poor Dannii on live television! The incident occurred after Dannii rightfully panned the performance of this ugly bitch on "X factor". At about 30 seconds into the clip you can hear a member of the audience call Dannii a bitch. I hope the person responsible was dragged from their seat and thrown out on the street like the common garbage they are! Did anyone else notice Simon's reaction to the heckling? He can't keep his hands off lovely Dannii!

Dannii's Stunning Sales!

The UK sales figures for Dannii's recent releases are in and our queen hasn't lost her midas touch on the charts! Last week Dannii sold:

2,400 copies of "Unleashed"
832 copies of "Neon Nights"
779 copies of "Girl"
669 copies of "Club Disco"

The usual haters have labelled Dannii a massive flop but I think those figures are very respectable for four minimally promoted collections of old B-sides and remixes. The numbers would have also been significantly higher without the rife illegal downloading of Dannii's material. Shame on anyone who stole from Dannii's holiday fund!

The Height Of Rudeness!

Louis Walsh is a bitter, old cunt. Dannii's fellow "X Factor" judge has revealed himself as a shameless Minogue hater by dissing Dannii's stunning chart $ucce$$ on national television! Upset at Dannii's correct opinion that one of his acts was complete rubbish, Louis replied and I quote:

"Excuse me, Dannii, we're having hits in the charts. You're NOT!"

I can't believe this awful man's rudeness and inaccuracy. Dannii is the undisputed queen of clubs - as this week's chart proves! "Touch Me Like That" climbs from #24 to #7 after only two weeks. Suck on that you old cunt!

Poor Dannii kept her cool and consoled herself by flirting shamelessly with the contestants. Thanks to Peibols for sending me the lovely picture below. Apparently the man holding Dannii's hand is making some kind of obscene hand gesture ("hacer un dedo") but I think Spanish people just have sex on the brain! Unlike chaste Dannii.

Behind The Scenes Of TMLT!

I love this clip about the filming of Dannii's "Touch Me Like That" video. Prepare to be blown away by the high quality visual effects (which involve Dannii lying on a painted sheet) and Holidannii's insightful commentary (the set reminds her of Santa's grotto). I just love Dannii's honesty, she has no idea what the fuck is going on and more to the point, she doesn't appear to care! It's always a treat to hear Dannii's Australian accent and bask in her extraordinary beauty and magnetic charisma.

Copycat Kylie

Don't get me wrong. I love Kylie and I don't begrudge her having twice the success of Dannii with half the talent. Unlike Dannii, Kylie actually spends her time doing mundane things like promoting her career and recording music instead of having lesbian threesomes in Ibiza. If that dull approach to life has resulted in higher record sales, so be it. What I can't stand is Kylie's recent attempt to cash in on Dannii's "X Factor" success by copying her every move. Dannii has worked hard to step out of Kylie's shadow, releasing 4 albums and a DVD in the same week. Poor Dannii has even gone without a rejuvenating holiday for at least a fortnight! That kind of dedication deserves to be rewarded. It's not fair for Kylie to shamelessly abuse Dannii's good nature by using her stunning sister to promote her own career. Kylie, you are a thieving bitch and here is the evidence:

1. Kylie calling her new album "X" to cash in on Dannii's "X Factor" fame.



2. Forcing sweet natured Dannii to stand in front of this poster to promote Kylie's career.

3. Dragging poor, exhausted Dannii to every social event in London. Washed up Kylie has realised that she only gets her photo taken these days when Dannii is standing next to her!

4. Obviously aware of the stunning success of "He's The Greatest Dancer" in Spain, Kylie shamelessly rips off the single cover for her new promo photos.



5. Canny Kylie knows that Dannii is famous for her provocative photoshoots and has tried desperately to follow suit.



6. Jealous of Dannii's ability to promote her career with the occasional lesbian scandal, Kylie has hired a team of butch dykes to perform with her on "The Kylie Show".



Conclusion

Kylie needs to stop stealing Dannii's thunder with her new low brow image. Dannii is the sordid Minogue and that's the way we like it. Kylie should stick with her usual inoffensive (ie. boring) persona and leave the fabulousness for Dannii!

The Unleashed Scandal & Album Review!

Someone call the police! Dannii's amazing breasts have been vandalised and I demand the culprit be brought to justice! I was absolutely ecstatic when my package of Dannii goodies arrived from the UK this afternoon but my joy quickly turned into outrage and disgust when I noticed the cover of "Unleashed". Dannii's heavenly jugs have been covered up! Compare the picture above to the actual cover (below). Who would be stupid enough to hide Dannii's two most famous assets? Warner Music could have at least had the decency to fix up the picture properly. This looks like it was done by a drunk 12 year old with a black crayon!

Now that I've got that off my chest, I can focus on the music. The cover of "Unleashed" might be hideously disfigured but the music is fabulous. Dannii's unreleased rubbish continues to astound me. The new songs on "Unleashed" are shiny, pop gems of the highest quality. I've only had the chance to listen to "Unleashed" a couple of times but my first impression is that I prefer the unreleased material from "Club Disco", which is a surprise because I generally prefer Dannii's output with Warner Music to her AATW material. The new tracks on "Club Disco" are all vintage Dannii, while "Unleashed" finds Dannii in a more experimental mood. The music is less polished and Dannii dabbles in several different genres including R'n'B! "Unleashed" isn't as perfect as "Club Disco" but it's an intriguing glimpse into one of the most weird and wonderful periods of Dannii's illustrious career. Here's my track by track review:

1. All I Wanna Do (Innocent Girl Mix) - 8/10

A great remix of a classic single. I still have visions of Dannii rolling around in bed with that pink phone. Brilliance!

2. Blame It On The Music - 8.5/10

A very early collaboration with Roger Sanchez and Terry "Tezza" Ronald from 2002 that holds up amazingly well. Roger's "Do You Believe Me Now?" was one of the highlights of "Club Disco" and "Blame It On The Music" is another gem. Dannii needs to hire this man to produce her next album instead of fucking around with the usual losers!

3. Spend Your Love On Me - 7.5/10

The first of several Random Music productions on the album. Random Music have produced tracks for poptastic acts like No Angels and Amy Diamond but, disturbingly, they also boast about writing tracks for Shannon Noll and Dulta on their website. "Spend Your Love On Me" is a strange track that combines urban and dance elements with a certain degree of success. I love Dannii's R'n'B adventures ("Work", "Don't Wanna Take This Pain" and "Get Into You") but this is missing a certain something. Like a chorus. It strikes me as a grower.

4. Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling (Jewels & Stone 7" Mix) - 8/10

Jewels & Stone have a Minogue connection that spans 14 years when Barry Stone remixed Kylie's "Celebration". They specialise in bright, shiny remixes and this is no exception. Great fun.

5. Going Going Gone - 6.5/10

Another Random Music production that sounds like something the Backstreet Boys rejected in 1998. This is my least favourite song on the album. It's not awful by any means but "Going Going Gone" has no hook to speak of and I'm not particularly taken with the robotic vocals. An interesting experiment.

6. Everything I Wanted (Metro 7 Inch Mix) - 7.5/10

The best version of my least favourite Dannii single. It's a good song but "Everything I Wanted" (and "All I Wanna Do" for that matter) don't sit well with the other tracks. Fun but unnecessary.

7. Undeniable - 9/10

"Undeniable" is the album's biggest surprise. Only included when "Karma Is A Bitch" and "Fear Of Flying" were cut at the last minute, I expected "Undeniable" to be the bottom of the barrel. Instead, the song is a gorgeously produced slow jam that wouldn't sound out of place on a Beyonce album. This is by far the most successful R'n'B attempt on "Unleashed" and one of Dannii's most unusual offerings. A future fan favourite.

8. No Romeo - 9/10

Written by Hannah Robinson and Pascal Gabriel, this was one of the most anticipated tracks on "Unleashed" for me. This doesn't quite match the brilliant tracks Pascal has written for Kylie ("Tightrope", "Your Love" and "No Better Love") but "No Romeo" is a cute little R'n'B influenced pop gem. This is the kind of fun track that Janet Jackson used to make until she started exclusively singing about her cunt. "No Romeo" would have made a fine single.

9. Hide And Seek (Thriller Jill Original Radio Mix) - 9.5/10

Apparently, "Hide & Seek" was once considered as the lead single for "Neon Nights" before eventually appearing as one of Dannii's most unusual B-sides. I love this version of "Hide & Seek", it's trance-tastic! After a string of bizarre R'n'B/pop hybrids, it's something of a relief to hear a club stormer. I love the crazy horns and vocoder effects. Exceptional!

10. Hurt In Love - 8/10

One of the most recent tracks to be included on "Unleashed", "Hurt In Love" is fucking strange. It starts out as a stomping dance anthem before slowing right down to become a trippy electro ballad - and then speeds right back up for the final 30 seconds. I'm not sure what to make of this - it's kind of weird and wonderful but listening to "Hurt In Love" too often might bring on some kind of seizure. It's different and I think I like it.

11. Who Do You Love Now? (Riva's Bora Bora Edit) - 9/10

One of my all time favourite Dannii anthems, "Who Do You Love Now?" is about as close as you can get to pop/dance perfection. This remix isn't as good as the original edit but it's still pretty amazing.

12. Put The Needle On It (Cicada Vocal Edit) - 10/10

A dark and dirty re-working of "Put The Needle On It" can only be a good thing as this amazing remix proves. Cicada breathe new life into this classic song, giving it an unexpected edge. I can't get enough of this, it's just fantastic! Check out some of Cicada's own brilliant music on their myspace.

13. Come & Get It (Alternative Radio Cut) - 9/10

The original "Come & Get It" is a pop masterpiece and surely one of Dannii's finest moments. This remix isn't nearly as good as the original but it's always a pleasure to hear this song in any form.

14. Begin To Spin Me Round (Dannii Vs Dead Or Alive)(Radio Edit) - 10/10

The perfect mash-up! This sounds as good today as the day it was released. I still remember Dannii's excitement when this reached #2 on the UK charts. I think she would have died from shock if it actually made #1! Blissful.

15. Love Me Like This - 7/10

This is one of the better Random Music produced tracks on the album. "Love Me Like This" is a cute little pop song, which is only marred by a grating sample. Not Dannii's finest moment but fun nonetheless.

16. Bad Weather - 7/10

Produced by Thriller Jill, "Bad Weather" is a kooky pop tune bursting with dodgy metaphors. The song begins promisingly but goes nowhere. The chorus is non-existent and the verses are somewhat clumsy. Nevertheless, this is still a fun listen.

17. Invitation - 9.5/10

The team of Gareth Young, Sarah Eker, Cheryl Parker and Dannii need to work together more often. They have already written one of the best tracks on "Unleashed" in the form of "Undeniable" and "Invitation" is another stunning mid-tempo ballad. The production is detailed, Dannii's voice sounds absolutely amazing and the lyrics are lovely. Excellent.

18. It Won't Work Out (Ross Cullum Single Mix) - 10/10

Ever since the phenomenal dance version of "It Won't Work Out" leaked last year, I've had little time for the original ballad version. However, this slightly tweaked version is just brilliant. It begins like a ballad before kicking into a crazy mix of guitars and heavy beats. A truly stunning vocal performance from Holidannii!

Bonus Track: Viva L'Amour - 9/10

"Viva L'Amour" is the bonus track from iTunes. A stomping electro anthem, "Viva L'Amour" stands out as one of the album's best tracks. Which is fucking annoying. How did "Going Going Gone", "Bad Weather" or "Love Me Like This" make the final cut ahead of this gem? I love the throbbing production and the lyrics. This is really worth downloading separately from iTunes.

"Unleashed" is wildly uneven but it belongs in every Dannii fan's collection. The highs are fabulous and the lows are amusing. "Unleashed" was released in the UK on Monday and will be released in Australia on the 19th of November. Pre-order your copy from iTunes or Chaos.

Club Disco - Front & Back Covers

I've received a couple of e-mails asking if "Club Disco" has an official front and back cover. To my knowledge it has an official front cover (pictured above) but no back cover. However, Dannii fans are far too creative to let AATW's laziness get them down. A hugely talented fan has come up with an amazing back cover (below) and I thought I'd post it in case anyone else wants to make their own "Club Disco" CD. I think it's absolutely stunning and far more professional than anything AATW could come up with! Click on the pictures to see them in high quality.

Dannii's Stunning Chart $ucce$$!!

After years of being "really, really ready" for it, Dannii is finally experiencing an unprecedented amount of $ucce$$! Here are some of Dannii's stunning achievements:

- "Club Disco" is #10 on the UK digital album chart and currently #3 on UK iTunes dance album chart
- "Unleashed" sold 1,500 copies in the UK on Monday and would have placed #40 on the album chart if it were eligible.
- "Touch Me Like That" enters the UK club chart at #24
- The "Neon Nights" rerelease is top 100 on the UK mid-weeks
- The "Girl" re-release is top 120 on the UK mid-weeks

Last but most definately not least, "He's The Greatest Dancer" reaches a new peak of #13 in Spain! Thanks to Peibols for notifying me of Dannii's astonishing Spanish $ucce$$!

Brave Dannii's Botox Battle

According to this week's Famous magazine, Dannii is struggling with a crippling Botox addiction. Frankly, I'm appalled by these ludicrous accusations. How dare they question Dannii's natural beauty! These haters are obviously jealous of Dannii's luminous youthful appearance and international fame as the queen of clubs. Next thing you know, they'll be saying that poor, brave Kylie has had work done!

Dannii Beats The Shit Out Of Kylie!

Kylie and Dannii trade blows backstage at "The Kylie Show". This shit is hilarious but in reality Dannii would be slapping Kylie around with one her favourite dildos instead of choking her with a feather boa!

Cheers, Dannii! You're Perfection.

Today is a glorious occasion for Dannii fans around the globe. The 5th of November 2007 will go down in history as the day that Dannii foisted her unreleased material on the buying public and proved that her scrapped crap is still better than any new pop music released this year. I'm waiting until my copy of "Unleashed" arrives in the post before reviewing that stunning masterpiece, so this post will focus on today's other new release - the amazing digital package known as "Club Disco".

I've been experiencing one long, screaming Dannii-gasm since downloading "Club Disco" this morning. I'm utterly overwhelmed by Dannii's incomparable musical genius. The previously unreleased tracks are phenomenal and the package provides an intriguing glimpse into the 2005 album that was scrapped in favour of "The Hits & Beyond". After listening to "Club Disco" a couple of times, I have no hesitation in saying that we missed out on one of the great pop albums of the decade when Dannii's first AATW album was abandoned. Here is my track by track review of "Club Disco":

1. Feel Like I Do - 10/10

The B-side to "So Under Pressure" is a sublime slice of dance-pop and certainly ranks as one of my favourite Dannii songs. A perfect opening track.

2. Perfection (Extended Version) - 9/10

The second single from "The Hits & Beyond" lives up to its title but there are better mixes of the track than this extended version. Fabulous, nonetheless.

3. You Won't Forget About Me (Radio Edit) - 8/10

Dannii's most recent top 10 hit is one of my least favourite singles but works nicely as an album track.

4. Love Fight - 7/10

I'm in awe of Dannii's songwriting ability. Who else could write such an upbeat, catchy anthem about domestic violence? Unfortunately, Dannii's visionary lyrics are let down by some of the worst production to emerge from AATW (and that's saying something!)

5. I'm Sorry - 9/10

The first new/unreleased song on "Club Disco" is stunning. Written by two alumni of Max Martin's famed Cheiron studio, "I'm Sorry" positively throbs with energy. This poptastic floorfiller should have been a single.

6. Gone - 9/10

One of the best beyond tracks on "The Hits & Beyond", "Gone" has lost none of its sparkle. Top notch dance-pop.

7. So Under Pressure (Album Version) - 10/10

Dannii's haunting ode to Kylie's cancer battle redefined the bounds of dance music. Never before has such moving subject matter been accompanied by such a wicked beat. Utterly majestic.

8. Good Times (Remix) - 7/10

A rather pointless remix, which fails to improve on the original. I wish they had left this one alone.

9. Sunrise - 7.5/10

Another "Hits & Beyond" album track. Originally one of my least favourite AATW offerings, "Sunrise" has grown on me immensely. The song loses a point for reminding me of Kylie's vile "Rendezvous At Sunset" every time I listen to it.

10. He's The Greatest Dancer - 9.5/10

Fuck off, haters! Dannii's #37 smash hit is epic and the LMC edit remains a triumph. Only Holidannii could improve on Sister Sledge.

11. I Can't Sleep At Night - 10/10

The best non-single from "The Hits & Beyond" - everything about this gorgeous anthem is exquisite. The production is excellent, the lyrics are saucy and Dannii's voice is butter! Throw in the brilliant Afterlife remixes and smutty video and you have one of the best singles never released.

12. I Will Come To You - 9/10

The second new/unreleased track isn't as instant as "I'm Sorry" but it's just as good. Penned by Nine Woodford and Rob Davis, "I Will Come To You" is surprisingly dark and moody. The intro is slightly jarring but the chorus is gorgeous. I particularly love the lyric "you are my home and home is where the heart is". This could be a real grower.

13. I've Been Waiting For You - 7/10

The B-side to "Perfection" is Dannii by the numbers. Decent filler.

14. Round The World - 8/10

A collaboration with Terry "Tezza" Ronald and Ian Masterson, "Round The World" is a burst of old school Dannii - unfortunately it's not the best example of what this fabulous trio can achieve. "Round The World" isn't awful by any means, it just sounds half finished. I love the throbbing guitar line but I have a feeling this was a work in progress. A treat for fans.

15. Do You Believe Me Now (With Roger Sanchez) - 10/10

Dannii's much anticipated collaboration with Roger Sanchez is superb. This sunny dance anthem is so much sweeter than I expected. The lyrics are cute and Dannii sounds more lovely than ever - if that's even possible! I love the male backing vocals in the breakdown. The mid-tempo pace is also a great introduction to the lounge tracks that follow. Well worth the wait!

16. Xanadu - 10/10

I've been eagerly awaiting Dannii's version of Olivia Newton-John's 80s classic since Dannii first announced that she had covered it. The original is one of my favourite tracks of all time and I was prepared to be sorely disappointed by this cover. I should have had more faith in Dannii's infinite musical wisdom because her "Xanadu" completely re-constructs the song, creating something wonderfully new and different. Dannii's "Xanadu" is a sparse, dark and languid piece of electro brilliance that deserves to be heard.

17. You Won't Forget About Me (Afterlife Lounge Mix) - 9/10

Afterlife should be contractually obliged to provide a lounge remix of every Dannii single! I much prefer this sultry mix of "You Won't Forget About Me" to the original. Perfect chill out music.

18. I Can't Sleep At Night (Afterlife Lounge Mix) - 10/10

This is Afterlife's finest moment and one of Dannii's best ever remixes. The lush instrumentation is a thing of beauty. A perfect way to finish off a truly magnificent album.

"Club Disco" is available to download from today. MP3s have already appeared on the usual websites but do the right thing and purchase "Club Disco" from AATW's digital music store here. Just think, you could be helping to fund Dannii's next boozy, sex filled trip to Ibiza - and that can only be a good thing. "Club Disco" comes with 4 free music videos and is very highly recommended.

Dannii's Hot Date With Simon Cowell

The Daily Mail recently published these gorgeous snaps of Dannii and Simon Cowell on their way to an intimate dinner in London. Simon looks completely enthralled by Dannii's stunning beauty and conversation skills. I really hope Simon "put the needle on it"! I think he's hot and just think what he could do for Dannii's career! Read the article here.